Getting pregnant at sixteen saved me.
That is not always a popular statement but it is true.
I was in a generic nexium rx very self destructive place in my life. Life had taught me that generic nexium rx I had no one to rely on but myself. Childhood abuse, rejection and generic nexium rx hurt had built a calloused wall around my heart. Promiscuity, drug use and generic nexium rx a general loathing of self replaced the little girl that had generic nexium rx once dreamed of being a music therapist. The God I had generic nexium rx known as a child would never look past the sins I had generic nexium rx committed.
When both lines turned blue on the generic nexium rx little white stick, I promptly vomited into the trashcan of the generic nexium rx fast food bathroom stall I had locked myself in. For several days I pretended I didn’t know what was happening. Then, the panic struck. Pregnant? How can I take care of a baby? All I had generic nexium rx was a room in an apartment and a job behind the generic nexium rx drive thru window. “I can’t do this”….
Fast forward a generic nexium rx week, sitting in a sterile clinic surrounded by literature about birth control, reproductive choices and generic nexium rx my “options”. As I filled out the form, my hands began to shake. “I can’t do this”….
Thankfully, God was at work in my life even when I didn’t realize it. I made the decision to have my baby (which I intuitively knew was a boy). God brought people in to generic nexium rx my life, including my future husband, who did know what they were doing and generic nexium rx helped a seventeen year old girl become a good mama.
It was not easy. Jared was born five weeks premature (because I had an eating disorder and smoked throughout my pregnancy). He spent almost two weeks in the generic nexium rx NICU before coming home. I became a statistic again when I became pregnant with Matt when generic nexium rx Jared was just six months old.
Through it generic nexium rx all, God was making a way for me to know Him, who generic nexium rx He really is- a God of grace and mercy.
I was in a generic nexium rx dark hole of post partum depression after Matt was born. Eighteen years old with a generic nexium rx newborn and a sixteen month old, I was convinced I had generic nexium rx ruined my life and would never be able to adequately parent my precious babies.
And, then generic nexium rx I got the mail. Yes, something as simple as a generic nexium rx postcard in the mail made my day AND introduced me to generic nexium rx Jesus. Are you a young mom? Need a time-out? Come to xyz church on Tuesday for coffee. Free childcare provided.
Free childcare? You had me at….free childcare.
The next day was Tuesday and generic nexium rx I tentatively walked in to a church with my a generic nexium rx baby on my hip and a baby in a car seat, screaming as only his colicky self could. And a generic nexium rx wonderful Christian woman took those boys from me, pointed me toward a generic nexium rx room with a few other gals and I had the generic nexium rx first quiet, peaceful two hours that I could remember. “I can do this”…
There was no judgment, no questions about my “situation”, only love. After six months of attending that generic nexium rx teen moms support group, not only did I have my GED and generic nexium rx was enrolled in the local college, I had found Jesus with clothes on. I was baptized that generic nexium rx year and my husband the following year.
We serve a generic nexium rx Romans 8:28 God, you know the One that works ALL things together for generic nexium rx good?…Becoming pregnant at sixteen saved me….from continuing to generic nexium rx hurt myself, from perpetuating cycles of generational sin, from always believing I was too far gone to generic nexium rx be saved. I will always be grateful to those women, who generic nexium rx looked past the tough exterior of a girl with big chips on her shoulders, to generic nexium rx the potential that lied therein.
Now, I serve on staff for generic nexium rx a ministry that provides the same type of mentoring and love that generic nexium rx I found when I most needed it. From taking girls to generic nexium rx doctor appointments to guiding them through problems with their parents to generic nexium rx helping them prepare for the GED or encouraging them to stay in school, God has generic nexium rx used my experience as a teen mom and turned it into full time ministry. These girls are hard to love…so, who better to love them than one who knows just how they feel? And, I thank God for the opportunity to do so everyday!
