Pre-Radical: We have taken our children to serve in soup kitchens and nursing homes over the years.  It was something to do together and our thought was to give them a glimpse of how blessed they are and to introduce them to the concept of giving back.

Currently:  It is no coincidence that during the time we have been reading Radical as a family, friends and fellow bloggers like Kristen, Jennifer and Lisa Jo have traveled to other contexts, like Africa and Guatemala, and brought back their words, their experiences and their heart for the rest of us.  Deep reservoirs of compassion were tapped in my heart just living vicariously through them.  Then, there are friends like Stephanie that travel to parts unknown to rescue discarded children and another context takes on a whole new meaning to us. However, aside from giving of our money, we aren’t doing anything to serve in a different context.

Our biblical community {small group} has been doing random acts of kindness projects and we are looking for a regional mission trip opportunity to wet our feet, so to speak.

Upcoming:  I don’t know where I, we, fit when it comes to serving in another context.  I do know that the hubby and I decided that we were foregoing a cruise in February to save money to go on a mission trip as a family this summer.  The thought scares me but makes me feel excruciatingly alive at the same time. Our

Barriers/Obstacles: My health, first and foremost.  My hubby is terrified of me catching some funky disease while on a mission trip.  Suffice it to say that he is researching all the possibilities to make sure we don’t go anywhere too hot, etc and will be consulting my doctors before we go anywhere. Heat exacerbates MS something fierce.  I am less worried about this then the hubby but know that he has to feel comfortable for the trip to even happen.  Another obstacle is finances.  Going on a mission trip is not cheap.  However, God is faithful and since we are being faithful to the process of this Radical experiment we are learning where we can cut the fluff from our budget and use that money for a trip.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store!

I am quite certain that is why God made me the mama of three active boys {proof of God’s sense of humor}.

I don’t “do” certain things: dirt, bugs, scary movies..did I mention dirt?

My hubby and boys laugh at the amount of luggage I take on a camping trip.  And, most people that know me have heard me say how grateful I am that I was born where I was, when I was.

Suffice it to say I would not have done well in the frontier days.

Suffice it to say that God is s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me in ministry lately.

I have visited places that literally make my skin crawl {and have made me physically ill}.

The amazing thing is that God gives me this peace that surrounds me when I am in a “dirty” situation and I don’t think about it until I leave {and bathe myself in hand sanitizer}.

My husband struggles with some of the places I go and situations I encounter in my work with teen moms.  I am not always in the safest neighborhoods, the healthiest environments {for someone with my compromised immune system, in particular} and sometimes I am just downright in-over-my head.

But, God.

Isn’t God good?  Yes, He is good.  He is good even when he calls you and me to places that are dirty and disease ridden…He is good because he has met us at our deepest need and now uses us to show his glory and to advance his gospel among the places of greatest need in the world. ~Radical, pg 164

This chapter of Radical (chapter eight) was another reminder that we, as Christians, have settled for comfort over calling.  For luxury over living water.  For our savings account over salvation for the lost.

I have to admit that my perspective on all of this has changed since my wake-up call.  I was very comfortable in my American dream life and my complacent Christian walk.  But, I’m not any more.  And, this chapter reiterated that in my mind and in my heart.

I am not afraid of death. None of us should be.  It is the moment I will be ushered into the best days of my life. As the book echoed the words of Paul so do I “To live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Praise God this world is not my final destination, just the road to Heaven.  I know how the Story ends and I want to live each day here in such a way that others find that road too. Lord, give me focus and strength.  Help me live that type of life for You, every.single.day! Amen.

When we risk our lives to run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in his sovereignty, the security that is found only in his love, and the satisfaction that is found only in his presence.  This is the eternally great reward, and we would be foolish to settle for anything else. ~Radical, pg 181

This post is part of the Radical read along, hosted on Marla’s blog.

If people are dying and going to hell without ever even knowing there is a gospel, then we clearly have no time to waste our lives on an American dream. ~Radical, pg 143

“I’ll get to it tomorrow”.

How often have you said that to yourself?  How often have you thought about when will be a good time for you and your family to serve, to share the gospel with others?

When the kids are grown?

When the hubby retires?

When life slows down?

Those are all statements Mike and I have used as {seemingly} valid reasons why  RIGHT NOW is not the time for us to be focusing our lives on missions. This chapter of Radical points out how selfish that socially acceptable school of thought truly is.

Consider this:

If people cannot come to God apart from faith in Christ, and if more than a billion people have never heard of Christ, then a serious and eternal problem exists. ~Radical, pg 154

The Bible is very clear that salvation comes through faith in Jesus Christ alone.  And, who am I to say that RIGHT NOW is not a good time for me to share the gospel, particularly if that means that even one of those one billion could be saved?

There is a simple divine plan for taking the gospel to the world and fulfilling the Great Commission and it looks like this (Radical, pg 156)

God sends his servants—->His servants preach—–>People hear—–>Hearers believe—–>Believers call—–>Everyone who calls is saved.

This chapter points out that there is only one part of this plan where it is vulnerable to break down.  And, that would be where those selfish assertions I mentioned earlier come in.

If God’s people aren’t sharing the gospel {preaching} because they are too busy, or life is too hectic, or now is not a good time…then we are actually interfering with God’s plan.  And, people will go to the eternal depths of hell because of our selfishness.  Period. 

RIGHT NOW is all there is.

When my husband and I read this chapter for the first time, we both identified with a feeling that God was just being mean.  If He is omnipotent, why in the world is He allowing people to go to hell because of my….your….our selfishness and unwillingness?

Platt explains it like this:

Some wonder if it is unfair for God to allow so many to have no knowledge of the gospel.  But there is no injustice in God.  The injustice lies in Christians who possess the gospel and refuse to give their lives to making it known among those who haven’t heard.  That is unfair. ~Radical, pg 159

Ouch!  I do seem to say that a lot in the reading of this book and in searching the Scriptures to make sure that what I read is what God meant for me to hear.

The Bible is so clear about our responsibility to share the gospel and not hoard it for ourselves.

I pray for a sense of urgency.  For a willingness to surrender my comfort and my plans for the sake of those that may never hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.  RIGHT NOW!

Can you imagine being in heaven and knowing there are people NOT there to share in the eternal joy of the Lord because it wasn’t convenient for you to sacrifice your comfortable American life to insure the gospel reached them?

This post is part of the Radical Read-Along at Marla’s blog.

So what is the difference between someone who willfully indulges in sexual pleasures while ignoring the Bible on moral purity and someone who willfully indulges in the selfish pursuit of more and more material possessions while ignoring the Bible on caring for the poor?  The difference is that one involves a social taboo in the church and the other involves the social norm in the church. ~Radical, pg 111

Radical.  Weird.  Over the top.  Extreme.

Those are all words that people close to us have used to describe the changes in our family lifestyle over the last six months. 

I have to admit that the opinion of others, particularly my family, matters to me.  It hurts my heart that they don’t understand the level of radical obedience we are prayerfully subscribing to.

It scares me that we have just begun traveling this Biblical road and have already found it to be isolating and persecuted.

Which is probably why God has me reading Radical {for the third time in six months} right now and sharing my thoughts about it.

Which is probably why statements like “if our lives do not reflect radical compassion for the poor, there is reason to wonder if Christ is really in us at all” {Radical pg 111} spur me on to continue on this journey with my Jesus.

I look back on posts from quite some time ago and gratitude overwhelms me. I have been on this path for longer than I realized.  Reading Radical {in May 2010} did not change my life. 

 Jesus changed my life.

Jesus changed my heart.

I have known about God since childhood, I came to know Christ as my Redeemer in 1998.  But, my heart was not broken, surrendered, laid-out-bare-upon-the-altar until September 2008.  Since then I have been seeking Him, pursuing Him and being willing to be misunderstood in the process. {and failing miserably along the way}

This is really the core issue of it all.  Do we trust Him?  Do we trust Jesus when he tells us to give radically for the sake of the poor?  Do we trust Him when we begin using the resources he has given us to provide for others?  Do we trust him to know what is best for our lives, our families, and our financial futures?~ Radical, 124

My small group friends know that recently I have been struggling with making any type of unnecessary purchase.  For example, I love to decorate for the seasons, holidays..you name it, I decorate for it.  Yet, here it is the end of October and I have not decorated for fall.  Not because I don’t have a desire to but because I have been paralyzed by the heaviness of need around me.

I feel guilty about the time it would take from helping someone to get the decorations out and put them up.

I feel guilty about the amount of money I could use to help someone that I would instead spend on golden mums and assorted size pumpkins and gourds. 

A friend reminded me of the difference between condemnation and conviction and then Platt’s words echoed in my mind “Christ will change our desires, and we will long to sacrifice our resources for the glory of his name among them” Radical 127.  Another wise friend reminded me that ministry to my family is equally important and to ask them if decorating for the seasons is important to them. {and I am glad I asked because to my sentimental son it is important and therefore the decorations came out of the bins and up on the door}.  But, I still haven’t bought any mums.

Mums and fall wreaths are not bad.  What would be bad is if I blindly pursued my life and my desires while not having my heart and eyes opened to needs around me. “The war against materialism in our hearts is exactly that: a war” Radical 136.

The struggle between things of eternal value and things of material value is being fought in my heart.  It is tough. I don’t have the answers.  Which is good in a way because it sends me back to the Word to find them.

This post is linked to Radical Read-Along at Marla’s blog.

It is no coincidence that the sermon on Sunday focused on John 20 and Matthew 28.

This particular statement from page 70 of Radical resonated deep in my soul:

…when I look for a church, I look for the music that best fits me and the programs that best cater to me and my family.  When I make plans for my life and career, it is about what works best for me and my family.  When I consider the house I will live in, the car I will drive, the clothes I will wear, the way I will live, I will choose according to what is best for me.  This is the version of Christianity that largely prevails in our culture.  But it is not biblical Christianity.

It is not biblical Christianity.

It is NOT biblical Christianity!

The Chan video I referenced earlier asks the question that if an Asian believer came to your church on Sunday, knowing only the example of what church should look like that is available in God’s Word, would he be confused?  Of course!  Our churches today resemble the early church in very few ways and we have no one to blame for that but ourselves.

And then, further on in chapter four Platt dives in to one of my “Christian” pet peeves. 

 ”I-am-not-called-itis”.

Platt puts it to his reader this way on pg 72:

But where in the Bible is missions ever identified as an optional program in the church?…Indeed, Jesus himself has not merely called us to go to all nations; he has created us and commanded us to go to all nations.  We have taken this command though, and reduced it to a calling—something that only a few people receive.

Consider this:

Every saved person this side of heaven owes the gospel to every lost person this side of hell. (Platt, pg 74)

Then consider this:

How often do you hear someone say “Well, my heart is for my local community” or “God just hasn’t placed a burden for Africa on my heart”. 

I say, good for you.  Pour your heart out to your local community. God planted you there for a reason.  But, that does not change the fact that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US is called to make a difference in all the world.  Period.

Platt puts it this way on page 76:

As we have seen all over Scripture, God’s heart is for the world.  So when we say we have a heart for the United States, we are admitting that we have a meager 5 percent of God’s heart, and we are proud of it.  When we say we have a heart for the city we live in, we confess that we have less than 1 percent of God’s heart.

Hello? Is it just me or is this just not good enough? Giving God 1 percent or 5 percent?

This chapter lights my evangelical fire.  It convicts me that I am not doing enough.  It reminds me that we have turned church into a feel good Sunday moment rather than being the church we are called to be in Acts. 

It is not a coincidence that this week was chapter four.  And, now I have to go do something about it.

This post is linked to Marla’s Radical Readalong.

***this post may ramble.  I have been trying to process my thoughts and they are just not coming in an articulate fashion, no matter how hard I try***

I have always prided myself in being a self sufficient gal.  Life taught me early on that there was no one to depend on but myself and that placing trust in anyone or anything would just result in disappointment and hurt.  I was always applauded and praised for my independent streak and accomplishments. 

When I found Jesus, it took me a loooong time to understand that He would never reject me, disappoint me, or let me down.  I don’t know that even after all he has done for me I still completely grasp His unconditional (agape) love for me.  And, then I am reminded through this chapter that “in direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability” (Radical, pg 47).

I need to be completely dependent on God, and I am not.  Plain and simple.  I don’t want to relinquish some of my worries, thinking that I can do a better job with them than my Creator.  It sickens me to type that but it is true.

So, the question in this third chapter of Radical is “whether we trust in His power” (Radical, pg 45).  My initial reaction was “of course I do.  God has proven Himself to me over and over and over”.  However, He has shown me, in glaring reality and stark contrast to what I thought, the areas where I hold back from Him and rely on my strength.

Do you realize how arrogant it is to think that I have all the answers in any given situation? 

If there is any life situation that proves that I don’t have all the answers, nor can I change things just in my own strength, it is parenting teenagers.  Especially broken teenagers who haven’t let Jesus heal their hearts yet.  Jason has hit a rough patch and Miss S. has experienced so much uncertainty and rejection in her short life it is hard for her to accept unconditional love from our family {though she desperately wants to}.

Then I am reminded that I am trying to love them {and fix them, which is not my job} in my own power.  And, this chapter of Radical reminds me that “the challenge for us is to live in such a way that we are radically dependent on and desperate for the power that ONLY God can provide” (Radical, pg 45)

My prayer this week, in working through this chapter, is that God will make more of Himself in my life and less, less, less of me.  That God will pierce my heart every time I try to take a matter into my own hands.  That He will remind me that when I release my own {pathetically limited} power, I block His.  Lord, help me to stop trying so hard and just let You reign in every situation in my life. ~Amen.

This post is linked to the Radical Read Along here.

God’s Word is enough for millions of believers who gather in house churches just like this one.  His Word is enough for millions of other believers who huddle in African jungles, South American rain forests, and Middle Eastern cities.

But is his Word enough for us? ~Radical, pg 26

This chapter {Chapter 2 for those not reading along} is convicting with a capital C.  Is God’s Word enough for me?

If I am completely honest, I act like the answer to that question is oft times, “No”. 

Is God’s Word enough for me?  Absolutely.  It is all we need.  But, I forget that far too often.  I allow the busyness of this American dream pursuing existence to push out the soft whisper of God’s Spirit, reminding me that the answers I seek are waiting for me in the pages of His Word.

I allow myself to believe the lie that I can do this thing called life on my own.  God is there when I need Him.  I go to church.  I do good things.  Hunger and thirst for the sake of righteousness is something I save for those times that I am desperate, broken and searching for the Answer I have allowed myself to drift from. 

I allow myself to be distracted with “the constant drivel of entertainment in our culture—and in our church” (Radical, pg 29).  There are far too many days that I don’t approach the throne of the Almighty until the end of the day, almost as an afterthought. 

 God, forgive me.

This attitude I have accepted fits “nicely in a culture that exalts self-sufficiency, self-esteem and self confidence.  We already have a fairly high view of our morality, so when we add a superstitious prayer, a subsequent dose of church attendance, and obedience to some of the Bible, we feel pretty sure that  we will be all right in the end” (Radical, pg 32)

Those words leap off the page to me.  Who am I to think that is enough?  Doesn’t the God who created me, who created the very universe I reside in, the God who existed before anything else came to be…doesn’t He deserve more of me than that?

Yes.

But that is so much easier to type than to live out.  For instance, do I have the faith, the belief and the devotion to Jesus Christ to applaud Him while my husband is beheaded for our belief (Radical pg 35)?  That resounding yes comes a little slower when I pause to consider such a circumstance.

Jesus is no longer one to be accepted or invited in but one who is infinitely worthy of our immediate and total surrender. (Radical, pg 39)

My prayer becomes this:

Lord God, strip away my comfort.  Position my life in a way that requires I drink of your Cup to survive.  Help me see my need for You in every circumstance, every day.  I don’t want to only turn to You when things aren’t going according to my plan.  I want to turn to You, God, for every request, every decision, every moment of every day.  And, God, I fail miserably at this.  I allow myself to fall into the trap of self-sufficiency thinking I am on the right path, not realizing that if I am not walking the path with You, then I have been deceived.  Open my eyes to Your will, to a hunger and thirst for Your Word that nothing but Your Word can quench.  Expose my need for You.  Expose the motives of my flesh.  Expose the pride of my heart.  Expose my deep down soul need for nothing but You.

You are enough.  You are enough.  You are enough.

This post is linked to the Radical Read Along.

I had been praying that my life would be one that contributed to Kingdom work and not wasted pursuing dreams on earth that will not matter in eternity.

The words of Radical echoed in my mind:

But the truth is, there will continue to be millions and millions of people who do not hear as long as we continue to use spare time and spare money to reach them….What would happen, I thought, if we stopped asking how much we could spare and started asking how much it was going to take?

The truth is that I had more “spare” time than I wanted to admit.  Time I spent catching up with friends on Twitter, time reviewing products, time writing articles God did not call me to write.

Please don’t misunderstand.  I have been convicted about this in MY life…I am not passing judgment on anyone else.

When you pray like I did months ago, God will answer.  You just may not be comfortable with the answer.  God is using our family in awesome ways and daily convicting us of other ways we need to change the way we live and follow His lead.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am going to stop doing many of the online activities I have been involved in.  I am giving up my weekly organizing podcast.  I am giving up my organizing blog.  I am going to pray about every.single.opportunity that comes my way and view the opportunity through Christ’s will for my life, not my own pride and selfish ambition. 

The things I will continue doing {until God tells me not to}:

• writing on this blog, as I have time
• writing monthly column for The MOB Society
• managing my local blog {as proceeds go to the teen mom ministry I work with}
• serving as a GMO online missionary

The other things I am letting go of.  This is NOT easy for me.  It goes against every fiber of my fleshly being to relinquish activities and things that I enjoy and/or am committed to.  But, I must.

Because,

You and I stand on the porch of eternity.  Both of us will soon stand before God to give an account for our stewardship of the time, the resources, the gifts, and ultimately the gospel He has entrusted to us.  When that day comes, I am convinced we will not wish we had given more of ourselves to living the American dream.  We will not wish we had more stuff, lived more comfortable, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world.  Instead we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship.  Radical pgs 216-217

I hope you will stick with me as I navigate this new phase of my journey and pray that God gives me the strength to focus on His will for my life, and not my own.

Is there something God has been asking of you that you have been putting off?  I would love to pray for you!

A book that shattered our facade of comfort. 

We had been comfortable in our little corner of the world.    

We had allowed ourselves to become insulated to the pain and poverty that exists in our backyard and abroad.

Once we read the book and found our way back into the portions of God’s Word that we had avoided and misinterpreted, our hearts and lives were forever changed. 

We are on a journey.  As a family.  As individuals.  As believers in Christ.

I don’t know where this journey will take us, during our time here on earth, our time in Falling Waters, WV or wherever else God may take us, but I know the final destination and my hope is to bring as many with me as I can.

A blog that I read regularly is hosting a Radical read along.  If you have not read this incredible book by David Platt, I encourage you to buy it and read it.  Pray that the eyes of your heart will be opened to our true purpose and responsiblity to proclaim the gospel to everyone, everywhere.

This post is linked to Chatting at the Sky for Tuesdays Unwrapped.

She was fast.

She was fun.

She was purple (Tungsten grey to be exact).

She was an impulsive, reckless choice.

She was part of my American dream.

I really thought I had arrived, way back in May 2006, when the hubby and I purchased my pretty, fast, fun and purple Mustang with racing stripes.  I was rapidly climbing the corporate ladder and drowning out the call of the Holy Spirit by working harder, spending harder and “accomplishing” as much as I possibly could.

It took a while but the Holy Spirit won.  Through the dark valleys of 2007 and 2008 and the roller coaster of following God’s lead in 2009, He won.  I am so glad He did. 

But, to be completely honest, I often find myself mentioning how much I miss my car.

And after reading chapter one of Radical (Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream) as a family last night, it literally sickens me to admit that.  But, I need to. 

We need to.

I need to have the courage to admit to myself and to the world that our culture has watered down the gospel.  That Jesus did not say the American dream was His dream.  We have allowed ourselves to spin the Bible in a way that is comfortable to us yet despicable to Christ.

My family and I had tears in our eyes realizing the many ways we have bought into commercialized Christianity. We are actually looking forward (in a painful sort of way) to the ways that chapter 2 and beyond will stretch and grow us.  I want the promise of eternal satisfaction to be enough for me.

God has been growing our family to take in these words.  We see that now.  It may not be comfortable, we may not understand or even like the doors it opens but we see.  We are being radically changed by taking another look at what Jesus meant when He said “follow me”.  (Matthew 4:19).  I am not going to settle for a token donation to a face on my refrigerator every month.  I am going to learn to forsake, to follow, to surrender ALL. 

All to the One that came to die for me.  All to the One that bids me “come and die”.

I am trading my American dream in for a fishing pole.  Join me?