Sometimes I am tempted to throw in the proverbial towel with this whole writing/teaching thing, especially when I start listening to the lies of the devil.  And then God will show up in a sweet and powerful way {or two or three} and remind me that I am doing what He has asked and that my only calling is to obedience.

This week, He affirmed that in my Bible reading.  For those of you that don’t know, I chose to do the chronological Bible reading plan this year in my personal quiet time.  I was reading in Exodus when God is calling Moses to go deliver His people from Egypt.  Just read this little exchange between Moses and the Lord:

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words.  I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me.  I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled”.  Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth?  Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go!  I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say”.  ~Exodus 4:10-12 NLT

Yes, that little bit of Scripture just stepped all over my toes.

So, with a mixture of excitement and trepidation I am announcing a new format of study on my blog.  Beginning February 15th, I am going to lead a study here called Plugged In:  Accessing God’s Power Through Prayer.  It will continue for 8 Wednesdays, leading up to Easter.  The format will be short vlog segments for you to watch when you have a few minutes of quiet.  Then a free printable worksheet will be provided for more in-depth study of the topic presented if you desire.  God has blessed me with a talented audio/visual friend who is making this all come together.  I am honored to share it with you!  Here is a little intro video for your viewing pleasure (ha!):

Please join me for session one of Plugged In: Accessing God’s Power Through Prayer on Wednesday, February 15th.

In more exciting news, one of my favorite websites, The M.O.B Society, has gotten a face-lift. The M.O.B Society is a site for mothers of boys, by mothers of boys and I am honored to be a contributing writer there. Raising future men of God is such an incredible honor and responsibility. It is comforting and encouraging to have a place to go where other moms are going through and dealing with the same challenges, joys and struggles. A few months ago, the M.O.B writers contributed to an eBook, called From Mom’s Failure to God’s Grace: Stories of Raising Boys from the M.O.B Society Writers. Tomorrow, the book will be available for on Amazon for $2.99! All proceeds go to the Seed Company to provide the Word of God to people across the world. I am so tickled to be a part of this. Be sure to stop by The M.O.B Society today!

And, lastly, for those of my local friends, we are resuming Wednesday morning Bible study (we had taken a hiatus for the holidays that lasted a bit longer than I planned). This coming Wednesday at 9:30 we will begin a 6 week study of Isaiah 58 that I have entitled, The Well-Watered Life. I can’t wait to share the insights God has given me from this chapter (my life chapter!). Wednesday mornings, First Baptist Church, Martinsburg, WV.

I think that is all except for the counting of more blessings (excerpted from my Joy Dare journal)
~ a book that challenged me
~ friends that inspire me
~ new shoes for Sweet Pea
~ just enough powdery snow to make the trees pretty
~ a husband who is the calm to my storm
~ a special girl asking for prayer (an answer to prayer in and of itself)
~ six new girls at Young Lives club
~ a true Sabbath rest
~ knowing God fights for me (Exodus 14:14)
~ a much needed nap

What are you thankful for?

Step One:  Pray for the world.

Pre-Radical:  We prayed as a family.  We have a prayer basket where we keep cards and letters we receive, particularly at the holidays, and pray for the person/family represented by one card each night at dinner.  We would pray for the world when we became aware of a specific tragedy, like the earthquake in Haiti.

Currently: We have become prayer warriors for little Blake, waiting adoption in the Ukraine. {it is not too late to donate to his adoption fund through the chip-in in my sidebar, pretty please!!!}  We also pray for the other orphans around the world waiting for their forever families.  We pray for the parts of the world that do not know Jesus, the parts of the world that are persecuted for loving Jesus and the parts of the world that know the Good news and choose to ignore it.  Our hearts have become more sensitive to the needs of the world and God is piercing through our ambivalence, creating an ache for people halfway across the globe.

Upcoming:  We are each going to pick a specific world wide ministry to pray for.  With five people {that can talk} in the house, we will each pray for our chosen international ministry one night at dinner.  Our teens are excited about picking a ministry and researching it.  They will also be responsible for contacting the ministry for specific prayer requests.

Barriers/Obstacles:  Can I just mention that the enemy detests when a family prays together?  We do face interruptions, nights that we forget, someone is making a joke, you name it, we have faced the distraction in our prayer time as a family.

BUT, it is also an incredible time.  I love to hear what God has laid on the hearts of each of my children.  Things specific to their passions and gifts, to their sphere of awareness.

A Radical prayer life is a gift.

Do you pray as a family?

Atrophy (according to Wikipedia) is the partial or complete wasting away of a part of the body (in this case my left leg).

God has a whole post about atrophy in His body (the church) swirling around in my brain.  But, that will come at another time.

This post is about how God speaks to us.  He didn’t just speak to people in Bible times and then stop.  His Holy Spirit lives in us and guides us- if we listen.

Yesterday, returning from the doctor I was not in a happy place.  Trying to digest the fact that my muscle is atrophy-ing (no idea if that is a word) and they don’t know why and they don’t know how to stop it was overwhelming.  Making the appointments for all the tests they want to do to figure out the cause of the problem was overwhelming.  Trying to figure out how to discuss all this with my husband without him panicking was overwhelming.  Letting myself think of how unfair it is to have MS, Lupus and now- something else causing this issue- was overwhelming.

I had brought my Bible along for the ride (cause I can’t drive right now) but couldn’t bring myself to open it.  I did, however, turn on the radio and one of my favorite songs that we sing at church came on.  The song is “I will Rise” by Chris Tomlin.  There are many words that instantly touched my heart but here is the line that grabbed my soul:

There’s a peace I’ve come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There’s an anchor for my soul
I can say “It is well”

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

Overwhelmed?  How about the fact that Jesus overwhelmed the grave?  That is overwhelming, not my temporary, temporal circumstances.

Feeling still a tad angry, I said to God “help me”.  And three words came to my mind (and I know that I know that I know God put them there)

Check your medications.

Clear as day and something that none of my doctor’s had bothered to do.  As soon as I got home I googled muscle wasting and the names of my medications.  Second med I typed in had a big warning about this problem.  Not trusting myself, I called my pharmacy.  My pharmacist researched it, called me back and said “Call your doctor right now.  You need to have some blood work done”.

Yes, I have called my doctor and yes, they are on top of it.

But, isn’t God awesome?  And, what if I had continued in my overwhelming pity party and not reached out to Him?  Would I have heard that still, small voice?

Hearing God is a finer thing!

Do you ever find yourself irritated with your spouse? 

Convinced that they do not have your best interest at heart? 

Wishing you had married someone else? 

 When I am honest, I admit that my flesh has felt all of those things at one time or another the last almost fourteen years.  There is a common thing lacking in my spiritual life when I am vulnerable to those feelings: my prayer life is lacking.

Sure, I am still praying with the kids at night, perfunctory prayers before meals and bowing my head at church.  But I am most vulnerable to submitting to my flesh when I am avoiding bowing before my God on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, submitting my thoughts, my actions, my willingness and my pride, to His perfect will.

When I pray for my husband it is so much harder to be angry with him, to be short with him, to be critical of him.

Why?  Because when I am connected to the Vine I am going to bear fruit.  Bear the fruit of patience, self-control, love and, dare I add, the fruit of appreciation.

God provided Mike for me.  Provided me for Mike.  As a wife I need to be raising my husband up to my Father all the time, praying for his protection, for his heart, for his dreams, for his relationship with God.

The Bible speaks of two kinds of wisdom.  I encourage you to read James 3:13-16 and then rest on the rest of the chapter

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18

Isn’t it amazing?  When we ask God for wisdom, through an active prayer life, we will receive the wisdom and ability to be exactly the type of wife and woman He wants us to be. 

I am committing to praying for my husband and my marriage fervently.  Will you do the same?

I am tired.

The kind of tired that you feel in your bone marrow.  The kind of tired that no one understands if they do not have chronic illness.  The kind of tired that isn’t phased by a three hour nap.

I have a tendency to push myself.  Goes back to the whole recovering Type A, over achieving, perfection seeking sinner that I am in the flesh.  Frustration creeps in, its sneaky, sticky fingers wrapping around my thoughts.

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.  My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. {Psalm 38:9-10}

Hot tears of irritation burn my eyes.  I don’t want to be so tired. I don’t want to be sick.  I don’t want to live like this.

Not because I feel like I deserve better. Not because I think it’s unfair. But because I could do and accomplish and help so much more if…

And, I come full circle in this cycle of fatigue, frustration and faith.

For here is the truth:

My desire to “do” for God is unnecessary.  A burden I place on myself.  For what God wants is me.  And, time and time again I prove that the only way to reach me is to slow me down.  So He does.  And, eventually I yield to His desire for me to just be.

Not do.  Not accomplish.  Not help.

Just be.

Be still and know that I am God. {Psalm 46:10}

Today, I am unwrapping the gift that is multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus.  The gift of chronic fatigue that forces allows me moments to just be with my God.

This post is linked here.