My Bible in 90 Days Journey

Putting this last ninety (ninety four if you want me to be perfectly honest) days into words is proving more difficult than I thought it would be.

Renewed passion for the Word of God.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  II Timothy 3:16-17

Renewed conviction for the sin that so easily creeps in.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.  Galations 5:19-21

Renewed gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice.

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.  Isaiah 52:5

Renewed reverence for God’s majesty.

Who among the gods is like you, O Lord? Who is like you- majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?  You stretched out your right hand and the earth swallowed them.  In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed  In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.  Exodus 15: 11-13

Renewed commitment and laser focus on my ministry.

But they were scheming to harm me so I sent messengers to them with this reply, “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down.  Why should the great work stop while I leave it and go down to you?”.  Four times they sent me the same message and each time I gave them the same answer.  Nehemiah 6: 3-4

Renewed patience for God’s timing.

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27: 13-14

I could go on and on all day with the gems God shared with me during this concentrated time in His word.  It was so worth it and my prayer and hope is that this fire that has been ignited for the Word continues to burn strong in my life and the rest of those that joined in this challenge.

A special thanks to Amy from Mom’s Toolbox for starting this movement online and encouraging me along the way.

What do you say?

I would have wanted to mull it over with a friend too.

Clear my thoughts.

Have someone to talk about all that had occurred in the last three days.

To discuss what it all meant.  And then there were the rumors from the women who had visited His tomb and found it empty.

Then, when confronted with the power of what had happened in the last three days, from the One that had led them for the last three years….what do you say?

How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?  And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.  Luke 24:25-27

What do you say?

The crucifixion and the resurrection were all for a purpose. Planned from the beginning by the One who made us, knowing that we would need a way out.

That the Word would become flesh.

Living flesh whose breath was extinguished for me.  For you.  For the world.

We are all guilty of not noticing.  Not believing.  Not knowing the magnitude of God’s love for us.

What do you say?

I say thank you, Jesus.  I say How great is our God.  I say I believe.

What do you say?

Holy Week- The day after

I purposefully didn’t post yesterday because anything I would have said would have been dark, heavy and possibly too much.  Nothing we can ever imagine or do would properly convey the agony Jesus suffered on that day.  Facing separation from His Father (even if temporarily) and bearing the weight of the world’s sins on his shoulders, it brings tears to my eyes to even type that.

Which brings us to today.  The day after.  Christ’s beaten, bruised body laid in a tomb.

Can you imagine what his mother was feeling?  what his disciples were going through?  what the people who had witnessed his miracles and mercy firsthand were pondering?

Did they have doubt?  Were they confused?  Were they beside themselves with grief over losing one who meant so much?

We know the end of the story…the good news.  Tomorrow, we will celebrate the glorious resurrection that was part of God’s plan all along.

But today, allow yourself to sympathize with what the people must have felt.

I know that I have felt doubt in my life.  Wondered where God was in a particular situation.

I know that I have been confused and wondered how something in my life could really be part of God’s plan.

I know that I have grieved, many times, over losing someone important to me and not understanding why.

My guess is that you have too.

Thank God that we are not stuck in the day after.  Thank God that this story does not end here.  Thank God for tomorrow!

Holy Week- Maundy Thursday

This was such a special night.  A night when Jesus provided his disciples (present and future) with beautiful promises for those that choose to serve Him.

The Lord gave them a new command that night (and it still holds true for us today).

A new command I give you.  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  John 13:34-35

I struggle sometimes in my friendships with other believers (other disciples of Jesus). We can really be hard on each other. Amen?

As Christian women we certainly don’t set the best of examples for others when we publically debate over theology, judge one another for our actions without being aware of someone’s complete situation, put our “best” face forward instead of being stripped bare before others as was demonstrated on this Holy Thursday so many years ago.

I write this, not in a spirit of condemnation because I too am guilty of this, but in a spirit of desire: desiring to follow after the command that Jesus left the night before He carried our sins to the cross.

Jesus kept talking that night and would repeat His words about loving one another.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends….This is my command: Love each other.  John 15: 12-13, 17

A great way to lay down our life, our flesh for our friends is to crucify the need to be right.

The need to have the last word.  The need to be vindicated.  The need to be acknowledged.

Today, I am asking my God to bring to my remembrance times that I have not put loving my friends, my sisters in Christ ahead of my own wants, desires and needs.

Wash me, Lord, of selfish ambition, pride, haughtiness, sinful anger.  Let me see others through your merciful and tender eyes. Help me be the friend you want me to be, demonstrating your love to everyone I come in contact with.  Give me the courage to say I am sorry when I miss the mark and the tenacity to carry on.  Through your strength Jesus, only through your strength.  Wash me, Lord.  Thank you for being the example of what true relationships should look like.  I am in awe of your glory. ~Amen.

If anything I have written or said on this site has caused any of you to stumble, hurt you or affected you negatively in any way I take this time to humbly ask for your forgiveness.  Let us spur one another on toward doing good and abiding in Jesus and his sacrificial love for us.

Marriage Tips for Beginners

Mike and I will celebrate our 13th anniversary in July.  Every year we celebrate the fact that we have beat the odds, particularly for how young we were when we got married.  Today Sheila encouraged us to look back and think about what we wish we had known when we first became husband and wife.  By sharing those things the hope is that couples who have not been married for quite as long can benefit from the things we have learned in the trenches of marriage.

Here is my (by no means conclusive or exhaustive) list:

• Love is a verb not a feeling.  I do not always “feel” in love with Mike.  I hope that doesn’t sound mean because it’s not.  Most of the time those feelings have little to do with him and more to do with me.  With how busy I am, where I am in relationship with God, my fatigue level and illness.  Do I always love him?  Absolutely.  Why?  Because love is a decision, a choice, an action.  And I make the choice to love him everyday, the decision to be the best wife I can be every day and look for ways to act out that love (like putting the toilet paper so it rolls over even though I am an under girl)
• Date night is not neglecting your kids. I remember how guilty I felt each time (which was rarely back then) that Mike and I would go out alone.  I would spend the whole time calling home to make sure the kids were okay and when I wasn’t calling home I was talking about the kids.  It was years before I realized (after a marriage conference) that spending alone time with my hubby was vital to the health of our relationship. We began making that time sacred, focusing on us and our relationship, doing fun things together (love riding the motorcycle) and our marriage greatly benefited from it.  Let go of the mommy guilt.  A healthy marriage is actually one of the best things you can do for your children!
• Make sure you are on the same page.  So many of our early arguments could have been completely avoided if we understood where the other was coming from.  We frequently sit down and check in with each other to make sure we are working toward the same goals.  If you don’t understand something your spouse said or it seemed hurtful, double check with them.  I am amazed at the times I have told Mike something he said hurt my feelings and he looks at me like I have horns.  The way he said it or his choice of words was not meant to hurt me.  Huh?  Would’ve never known that if I hadn’t asked.
• In your anger do not sin.  The Bible is your life manual and it gives great advice for what NOT to do when you are angry.  Notice God doesn’t tell us not to get angry, He wired us to have feelings and emotions.  Our mandate is to not let the anger get the best of us and lead us to sin.  To lash back, to say hurtful things, to go to bed fuming about something your spouse did, to give the silent treatment…all of those are red flags that we are letting our anger cause us to sin.

I could go on and on with the things God has revealed to me during the last twelve years.  For more sound advice on marriage visit Wifey Wednesdays.

The Waiting Game

Back in the spring of 2006, God put a strong call on my life.  I argued with Him (while crying, laughing and driving down a dangerous stretch of highway).  I told Him He definitely had the wrong girl.  But, God can be persistent (in case you didn’t know that).

Fast forward three and a half years and I somehow figure I should get out my measuring stick (so to speak)…see how far I’ve come towards that plan.

Of course, I do not measure up to my own expectations.

And then I start saying things like this “I should be farther along with {x, y, z}.  If I’m ever going to fulfill this burden on my heart I should at least be at point {j, k, l} by now” and “I knew I was unworthy of this call, God got this one wrong” and “I should be doing more to make this happen” and “what did I do wrong?”

Interestingly enough, the sermon at last night’s midweek service was on Psalm 23.  And I learned something I did not know.  The valley of the shadow of death referred to in verse 4 translates from the Hebrew into the valley of swirling shadows.

Hmmm, swirling shadows.  Could this be shadows such as:

a period or instance of gloom, unhappiness, mistrust, doubt, dissension, or the like, as in friendship or one’s life?

OR

a dominant or pervasive threat, influence, or atmosphere, esp. one causing gloom, fear, doubt, or the like? (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)

Could it be that the enemy wants me to be surrounded by the swirling shadows of mistrust and doubt?

Could it be that God is leading me through the last three and a half years, not in abandonment of the vision He provided, but in preparation for it?

Is it not in the valleys of life that we stand to learn the most?

So, today I am thankful for the promise of Romans 8 (if you have time read the WHOLE chapter) especially, verses 15, 18-21, 28-31, 37-39.

Exactly what I needed to hear this morning:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [or daughter-ship, in my case] and by Him we cry Abba, Father.  Romans 8:15

Oh, yes!  That is all I need to do- cry out to Him who is with me all the time. The One who is faithful to complete the good work in and through me for His glory (and in His timing).  God’s measuring stick does not compute accomplishment or human “doings”.  He cares far more that I am leaning on Him throughout the journey.

For more Thankful Thursday posts, click here.

Contentment and Kids

I realized something this weekend.  My children do not possess a spirit of contentment.

Maybe it’s the catastrophe in Haiti, maybe it is reading the Bible in 90 days, maybe it is observing how my kids handle disappointment…I don’t know.  But, I do know that I am deeply convicted that it needs to change.

To be completely honest, it took a near death experience for me to fully grasp what being content truly means, just as the apostle Paul wrote in Phillipians 4:11-13:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

I want to teach my children the secret spoken of in these passages.  That being content should not depend on whether you get to go to the skating rink with your friends or whether you have the latest video game in your hands the second it is released.

I am mad (adolescents can push my angry buttons quite well), I am sad (that they don’t have a deeper understanding of this concept) but most of all I am determined.

I am determined to go back to the way we used to do things in our house…before we got busy.

Oh, friends, if only we could see how busyness is a tool of the enemy.

When my kids were small, we had a gratitude and prayer journal that we wrote in almost daily.  We would go back at the end of the year and see how God had provided for us and answered our prayers.

I have a prayer journal but do we continue to do this as a family?  No.

Why not?  Because between homework, sports and general busyness, that time has not been a priority.

I have told myself it isn’t that big of a deal.  My kids are good kids.  They go to church, youth group and mission camp.

We can rationalize anything away, can’t we?

My husband and I discussed this  (in the car, the only place we get true privacy LOL) and committed before the Lord that our focus would change from this point on.

We only have a few years of direct influence on these boys.  I want them to leave our home knowing how to be content, no matter the circumstance.  I need to unwrap the secret that I learned, and that the apostle Paul learned, and instill it in my children.  Will you pray for me?

P.S After thinking and praying about this all weekend, I came across a post that confirmed we are on the right track.  You can read it here.

This post is linked to Tuesdays Unwrapped.

Fresh Perspective

I joined the Bible in 90 days challenge and have posted about it before. Our reading focused on Leviticus for most of the week last week.

I admit that I went into it kind of rolling my eyes and being irritated about all the do’s and don’ts.  (You have to understand that I spent many years during childhood in a very strict sect of a very erroneous denomination.  Therefore I get very rankled when I start reading the “rules” I was expected to follow for so long.)

God really used this reading to give me a fresh perspective on this part of the Bible.  We read in Numbers that Moses was leading over 600,000 people to the Promised Land.

Can you imagine being responsible for that many people, in the desert, living in tents?

The Israelites had lived in Egypt, where everything was decided for them.  They lived as slaves with very little rights.  Then they go into the desert…and I venture to guess they needed some rules, some guidelines, some direction.

Suddenly, it made sense to me.  The Mosaic law wasn’t that different from the laws that we have in our country to prevent anarchy and lawlessness.

We know as mothers that children need boundaries, guidelines, structure.  That is what the law was providing.

I needed that fresh perspective.  I understood that God was looking out for the greater good.  Many of the rules instructed the people how to handle infectious diseases, how to handle mildew…God was looking out for their best interest.

I am so thankful He is still concerned with the best interest of those that believe.

Can’t wait to discover more hidden treasures during this amazing challenge.

Where I am at…

I have joined with several other ladies in a pledge to read the Bible in 90 days (you can learn more about it here).  Today is day five.  I wanted to share some of my thoughts from what I have read so far.  It is truly amazing what God can lay on your heart when you are open to listening.

First of all, I have to admit that the first five books of the Bible have never been on my preferred reading list.  The list of who is the father of who and how long they lived can just get boring with a capital B.  One of the reasons I think that this format is going to be successful for me is because the reading is on a deadline.  My type A personality thrives on deadlines so knowing that I have to read through a certain chapter by midnight tonight to be on track is very motivating and gets me through the begats.

The other reason the Old Testament can get kind of heavy for me is because I have such internal turmoil trying to reconcile the God that inspires fear, demands blood sacrifice and encourages war to the God that I know today.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe they are the same but reading through the Old Testament makes me that much more grateful for the gift Christ gave us through His death on the cross.  All the legalism from the Old Testament was washed away with His blood and for that I am so thankful.

On to the reading and my thoughts:

I enjoy the creation story.  It is beyond my capacity to fathom that God created all that I see out of nothing.  What a mighty God we serve!

The story of Joseph is one of my favorite in the Bible.  Joseph was such a fine example of a man who persevered under difficult circumstances and did the right thing, whether it was popular or not.

The biggest lesson I learned from Joseph’s story is that if you give up, you may miss out.

Joseph had so many opportunities to give up, to say what people wanted him to say, to allow bitterness and hatred to take up residence in his heart.  But, he chose love, he chose obedience, he chose to trust in the path God had for him.

And imagine what he would have missed out on had he given up and given in to all the negativity that surrounded him.  His own family sold him, he was falsely accused, imprisoned…yet, his inner strength and character always triumphed in the end.  And he was rewarded (here on this earth and I am sure in heaven as well) God ALWAYS came through for Joseph.  What a testimony!

As you can see, Joseph’s story is the one that has really hit home with me in the first few days of the reading.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in the upcoming weeks.

Are you taking the challenge?  Is there a particular story God has used to touch your heart?  Please share in the comments!

Starting the year off right

I first heard about The Bible in 90 days challenge on Twitter (and if you don’t tweet, this is just another reason to hop on the bandwagon with the rest of us

Reading through the entire Bible is something I have only done two other times in my life and both times were quite a while ago.  Having the accountability and encouragement from other moms going through the same program sounded great to me.  And what better way to start off the year?

Of course when you commit to doing something like this, the  enemy is not happy.  So, I knew to be expecting some hurdles to this endeavor, which we have committed to doing January 1st through March 31, 2010.

The last few days (part of the road trip gone wrong: watch for post on Wednesday) have not been conducive to reading of any kind and I was already feeling defeated.

But, then I started to catch up on the reading and was immediately blessed.  In our reading from yesterday (way back in Genesis) we are reminded to bring our petitions to God because He is listening (and remembers).

I was immediately encouraged and caught up with the reading.  It is not too late for you either…why don’t you join us in this quest to get deep in God’s word in 2010?  Your faithfulness will surely be rewarded.

Leave me a comment if you are going to join the challenge so I can check up on you hold you accountable!

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