This has been a crazy with a capital C kind of week.

We had our YoungLives Christmas party last night with 41 teen moms and their babies in attendance.  It was amazing to see God show up!

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I have been very preoccupied getting ready for that, preparing for the holidays and getting ready to welcome our two oldest home for a few weeks.  Shayla will be home from school today for 17 days!! Can’t wait to see her!  Then, Jason comes home on the 21st for a week and a half break from basic and AIT training for the Army.  I am going to be posting lightly and sporadically until the New Year as I soak up every minute with my kids.

I did want to let you know that my first post as a contributor at Homemakers Challenge is up and I am talking about simplifying the holiday season.  You can read the post here.

I pray that each of you has a blessed and restful Christmas!

I want to reflect on Advent every night with our boys.  I need to communicate His story through the way I live my life.

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I want to make it to the practices and sing at our Christmas Eve service at church.  I need to praise Him in the everyday moments, not just the special occasions.

I want to put all the laundry {that is literally crawling to the ceiling in my bedroom} away.  I need to rest.

I want to make all the hurt in the world go away.  I need to recognize my limits.

I want to write eloquent and touching blog posts.  I need to write the articles I have committed to before the deadlines.

I want to enjoy the holiday season.  I need to enjoy every season.

I want to mail my Christmas cards {and cheesy Christmas letter} before New Year’s.  I need to pick up the phone and call my loved ones.

I want to sleep without pain.  I need to slow down so my body can too.

I want to want less.  I need to want More.

{this post is linked to Life Unmasked at Joy’s blog}

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The Type A organizer in me has a holiday binder where I would clip ideas and recipes and tradition ideas that I have come across over the years.  It has been my planner for memorable holidays over the years.

Now, I have a Holiday Inspirations board on Pinterest. And, the need for clipping, keeping and flipping through pages has expired.  I am like at kid at Christmas {yes, pun intended}

I will still make note of the wrapping supplies I have leftover from the previous year so I can shop sales but don’t need my binder anymore.  And, I am excited about that!

How do you get organized for the holiday season?

Christmas shopping has been difficult for me this year.

My kids don’t need anything, certainly not anything on their Christmas list.

We have clothes, food, a warm and comfy home.

We have extra’s like video game stations, cell phones, iPods and more.

Usually by this time of year I am done my Christmas shopping {weeks ago in fact} and everything is wrapped and under the tree.

courtesy of www.worldstock.com

Right now, this year, there is nothing under our tree.  I haven’t wrapped a thing, I didn’t even buy anything until last week. And I didn’t enjoy the purchase, the thrill of the good bargain chase like I usually do.

I wanted to scrap the whole gift giving thing all together.  Take our Christmas budget and donate it all.  The hubby and I have discussed Christmas up one side and down the other this year.

I reminded him of this commitment at the beginning of the year.  He reminded me of all the ways our kids have grown in that area this year and that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We did compromise and cut our gift budget to a third so we can donate the rest to those in true need.

We are starting new traditions and rekindling old traditions.

Yet I can’t shake this feeling that I have not done enough to extinguish the plague of materialism in our home.

Must need to spend some time with my Father, the only One that can truly grant me Christmas peace.

What have you done to combat materialism in your kids this holiday season?

That time of year that can invoke feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion {mental and physical}, comparison and envy.

Or is it just me that has done battle with the keeping-up-with-the-neighbors, decorate-till-you-drop, spend-money-you-don’t-have itis of the Christmas season?

My childhood did not include many happy holidays.

So a young girl made a vow in her hurt, lonely heart that her future children would enjoy the holidays to the nth degree and for many years I darn near killed myself in pursuit of {what I thought} was the perfect holiday tradition.

Over the last few years, as God has been doing His work of cultivating and pruning in the garden of that hurt, lonely heart, the way I view this time of year has changed.

photo courtesy of www.jesus-explained.org

While hanging homemade ornaments on our Christmas tree and decorating cookies together still occur in our home, the heart of this season has evolved.  Evolved into…

• A heart for all that we do to point towards the One who truly deserves our holiday best.
• A heart to give back, in a posture of gratitude, for all that we have been given.
• A heart for others to understand how much the Babe in a manger loves them.
• A heart for home and family and friends and strangers.
• A heart for those that do not know the true reason for the season.

And, in the prayerful and purposeful pursuit of the heart of this season, I no longer find myself stressed.  Over-committed.  Critical.  Rushed.

And, I am ever grateful for this change of holiday heart.

The next time that I agree to drive to Florida from West Virginia, by way of Indiana (don’t ask) will someone please tell me to read this post and remember the nightmare of our Florida trip to see family?  Thanks!

We set off the day after Christmas to meet my nephew’s family halfway (somewhere in Ohio) so that he could go to see his dad (my brother) in Florida for the holiday break.

We would be me, two of my sons (the 13 and 12 year olds), my mother in law and my brother in law. I needed other drivers on the trip since 1.) I am not supposed to drive long distances (ha!) and 2.) my hubby couldn’t get the time off to come with us.

During our trip the following things happened:

• nephew’s family did not meet us halfway and we ended up having to drive all the way to Indianapolis to pick him up
• We had to stop twice on the way to Indianapolis to change the headlight and windshield wiper blades on my MIL’s van
• It was snowing so an eight hour trip took 10 hours
• We picked up my nephew around 1opm Saturday evening and took turns driving while the kids slept.
• Around 3:45am and somewhere in TN we hear a funky noise coming from the car
• We stop at a truck stop to investigate.  I make sad puppy dog eyes at the mechanics there and they look at the van.
• They tell us there is something wrong with the wheel bearing and axle and we shouldn’t drive it any farther.
• The reality that we are stranded in TN on a Sunday sinks in while trying to entertain my children and 5 year old nephew at the truck stop while we devise a plan.
• We find that Enterprise is open on Sundays but only the one location that does NOT come pick you up (they should really mention that in the fine print of those promising commericials).  So, MIL and I take a taxi to the Nashville airport to rent a car.
• After eight hours of being stranded at the truck stop we get back on the road to FL.
• I had asked the rental company for a mini van and they considered a Jeep Commander comparable.  Ha!  We drove with kids sitting on pillows, suitcases and duffle bags were at everyone’s feet except the person driving.  OMgoodness, we were cramped.

I won’t even go into the drama of the Ebay sale gone wrong, the snow storm at home that kept us watching for when we could come home and how you should really make sure you loooove your MIL before traveling 36 hours in a vehicle with her (one way).  Do you feel my pain yet?

So, what made the trip worth it?  Getting to see this little guy (my nephew Trey) who has grown so much since I was down there in November.

Needless to say, no more road trips planned for this mama.  I don’t care how much the airlines are price gouging at the holidays…we fly or we don’t go. period!

Join us for more WW here and here.

I admit it.  I let it get to me.

The hustle and bustle of holiday preparations.  The stress of moving.  Preparing for a looong road trip the day after Christmas.  Seemingly ungrateful children.  The 20″ of snow that threw a wrench in my plans for the week (and y’all know how I feel about my plans)

I, Melissa Smallwood, of Organized Life by Design, was feeling grumpy and overwhelmed (rather Grinch like, as a matter of fact)

I waited too long to take my feelings to the One who could help.  But last night I finally did and this is how our conversation went:

“Melissa, Melissa; you are worried about so many things…but only one thing is needed.”

Ahem, Jesus…I hear you.  But these things are important.  Do you realize I haven’t even put up a Christmas tree this year?  What kind of a mother am I?

“Come sit for a moment, my child.  Let me take a look at this load you are carrying.”

I reluctantly sat at His feet, thinking of all I could be accomplishing during this time.  As I lowered myself to the floor, I arranged my burden around me (so I could keep an eye on it).

“That is quite a load there.  May I take a look?”

I handed Him the first box of burden.  It was labeled obligation.

Cringing at the thought of Jesus opening and seeing all the projects I had committed to that I had not consulted with Him about, I began to cry.

Seeing my tears, Jesus reached down and caressed my face.  “My dear sweet girl, this is a burden you come back to, time and again.  Please let me carry it for you.”

Even being offered this out (so to speak) from the baking, decorating and shopping frenzy I hesitated to allow Jesus to take that box.  What would people think if Mrs Holiday I didn’t put up a tree, deliver cookies to the neighbors and have a handmade bow atop each present?

As if reading my thoughts (He can do that, you know?) Jesus repeated words to me that He had spoken some 2000 years before : “Come to me, Melissa.  You are weary and burdened and I can give you rest.  Take MY yoke (and I will take yours) upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” (paraphrase Matthew 11:28,29)

I was beginning to feel lighter not carrying that box of obligation on my lap so when Jesus reached down for the next box I did not resist.

“Ahh“, He said.  “Another burden you consistently pick back up- expectation“.

I looked downward, embarrassed that I am so predictable.  It is so easy to fall into our old patterns.

My expectations of myself can never be surpassed by anyone else’s expectations of me.

Shaking His head, in a gentle and compassionate way, Jesus said “You strive for that thing that can not be obtained- perfection. When will you stop striving and realize that it is in your weakness that I am strong? (I Corinthians 1:26-30) Please don’t waste your time and talents, those things I put in you to make you unique and special on striving for something you will never attain.  Just simply abide in me, my child.”

By this point I realized how far I had traveled off the path.

Jesus continued to speak words of life to me “Don’t you see, sweet girl?  Those moments when you are striving for everything to be perfect, you are standing in the way of My will.  Let us walk together, don’t try to strain ahead.”

There was one more box of burden.  I wanted to give this one to Jesus desperately, for it is the one that caused me the most pain and inner turmoil.  But, knowing that relinquishing this burden meant dealing with this burden in His will created a battle within my flesh. People would be let off the hook, wrongs would not be righted, things would never change.

Sensing my reluctance, Jesus put his nail scarred hands on this box. My hands shook as He lifted it from my grasp.  “Do not fear.  I will give you the strength, let my light shine in to this area of darkness.  All I ask from you is to love.  Love freely, love willingly, love generously.”

But, I can’t.  It is too hard.

“You can do anything with the strength I provide“. (Phillipians 4:13)  “Will you do this for me?  Will you let my peace rule in your heart and heal every hurt?”

With tears streaming down my face, I released my grasp on unforgiveness.  As soon as I let go of that box of burden, I felt so light and free.

“Now go…enjoy your Christmas.  I want everyone to experience joy and peace this season, not feel bound by burdens like yours.  Will you share this freedom with others?”

And, so I do. If I could shout from the mountain tops I would.  I am free because Jesus came down to this earth as a babe.  Born to a teenage girl in a cave, He came so that you and I could have life, free from boxes of burdens.

Merry Christmas, my friends.  If there are any burdens you carry this season, will you not hand them over to the One that stands waiting to bear them for you?

Dear Family and Friends:

Hard to believe that another year has gone by isn’t it? We have had an eventful 2009! We will try to hit the high points to catch everyone up on the Smallwood goings on J

In the first part of the year (February) Melissa traveled to Florida to visit her brothers and reconcile her relationship with her dad (if possible). The trip was very healing for all involved and Melissa learned that her brother, Thomas and his girlfriend were expecting. (Another boy joined the family: Treyden Edward Nicholson, born 10/4/09).

In March we added a puppy to the mix. Chloe (as debuted on the Christmas card) is a toy mini schnauzer intended to keep Melissa company during the day while Mike is at work and the boys are at school. Somehow, Chloe didn’t get that memo and is a total Daddy’s girl! She had some health issues when she first came to us but everything is fine now.

In June we took a week long houseboat vacation to Raystown Lake, PA. Family friends, the White’s, joined us as well as Melissa’s brother, Ian and her nephew, Marcus. Jared and Matt loved swimming in the lake, especially when coming off the sliding board attached to the roof of the houseboat! Marcus ended up spending most of the summer with us, until late August. It was fun to have a little guy around (for a while) and he celebrated his fifth birthday at our house in June.

Our oldest Jason (16) spent the first part of the year at a rehabilitation facility near Philadelphia, PA. The 3 hour trips to see him once a month were grueling, particularly with Melissa’s health issues. Therefore, we were all thankful when he graduated from that program and came to a residential facility in nearby Winchester, VA in June. He is doing well there, is in 11^th grade and is excited to take driver’s ed this spring (yikes!)

Jared (13) started eighth grade this year and once again made the middle school basketball team. He is the starting shooting guard and loves the game! Jared continues to be in all honors classes and when not at practice, texting or spending time with his friends, he is watching ESPN!

Matt (12) is in seventh grade this year and he too is in all honors classes. Matt is part of an FLL club (lego robotics) that competes with other teams across the state. Their first competition is December 19^th. When not building robots Matt’s nose can be found in a video game or watching the Food Network.

Melissa and Mike got to get away together for the first time in a while in October. Melissa was attending a blogging conference in Las Vegas and Mike joined her. They deserved a break as Melissa had just been discharged from a short hospital stay and would find out upon their return that her new health issues were being caused by systemic lupus erythmatosus (in addition to her MS diagnosis). In November, Melissa did get to travel to Florida to meet her new little nephew, Treyden.

The big news is that we are moving! After almost eight years in this house we are sad to leave it but downsizing is necessary for Melissa’s health and Mike’s sanity J Our new address is 61 Amherst Lane Falling Waters, WV 25419 (effective 12/14/09). We remain in the same school district so the boys did not have to change schools. And, if you know of anyone looking for a great house on lots of land for a great price, send them our way!

We hope this finds everyone well and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May God richly bless you and yours!

I’ll be back to regular posting in 2010.

To prove the fact that, despite the absence of a Christmas tree in our home right now, I am not Mrs. Scrooge I decided to swipe this meme from my friend Karie at The Five Fish.

Feel free to swipe it yourself, I would love to know your answers =)

1.) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

I am a professional organizer, people!  I started my Christmas shopping right after Christmas last year.

2.) Tell me about one of your special traditions.
We have a lot of fun traditions.  One of my favorites is driving around to look at Christmas lights and coming home to have hot cocoa with the boys.

3.) When do you put up your tree?

Is this question designed to rub in the fact that my tree is not up yet?  Sheesh!  We typically put it up on Black Friday after I get home from shopping and take a nap.  However, since we are moving this coming Monday, the tree is not up yet.

4.) Are you a Black Friday shopper?
Absolutely!  It is one of my holiday traditions.  This year was a little traumatic as a lady in front of me in line at Target passed out, hit her head HARD on the floor and an ambulance had to come.  Hope she is okay!

5.) Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home?

Since we are the ones with kids in our family, everyone typically has come to us. We usually celebrate with my mom Christmas Eve and my hubby’s family comes over on Christmas morning.  Now that our boys are getting older it is easier for us to travel so it really varies by the year.  This year we will be staying home as we will still be getting settled.

6.) What is your funniest Christmas memory?
I loved the days when the boys were little and would come down to wake up my hubby.  I have the most adorable pictures of the three of them trying to wake Daddy (who was really awake and just pretending to be asleep for their benefit).

7.) What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time?
We like the Polar Express, to watch as a family.  I like the old movies myself.

8.)Do you do your own Christmas Baking, what’s your favorite treat?
Yes, another tradition.  We make cookies and other yummy goodies to give to the neighbors, the mailman, etc.  I need to get baking =)

9.) Fake or Real Tree?

Unfortunately I am allergic to real pine trees so we go with the fake.  It is fairly realistic looking, in my opinion.

10.) What day (as a Mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?
Christmas Eve I get this panic that I didn’t get the kids enough things or the house isn’t decorated enough, ridiculous.  Us mama’s need to cut ourselves some holiday slack!

11.) Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
Typically no, but it has happened in the past.

12.) What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?
I love watching Mike put things together for the boys and they just sit watching his every move.  Priceless!

13.) What Christmas craft do you like the best?
One year we made picture frame ornaments out of mason jar lids.  I treasure those little pictures of the kids!

14.) Christmas music. Yes or No, and if yes What is your favorite song?
I am such a Christmas nerd! I listen to Christmas music non-stop from Black Friday on.  My favorite songs are Joy to the World and White Christmas.  I will be singing A Baby Changes Everything at church this year and that is a beautiful song!

15.) When do you plan to finish all your shopping?
I just have some loose ends to buy and should be finished by this weekend.

The birth of Christ was a gift.  The most important gift of all time.  As with any gift, we have to accept it.  And once we do we are never the same.

Yet, every so often I don’t feel any different and I want the “new”ness of accepting Jesus’ gift for my life, I want it back.

Then I remember, He’s not withholding that from me, I have busied myself right away from it.

I just want to abide in Him this season.

We serve an Awesome God.  When I look at my children the thought of giving them up to be beaten, tortured and murdered for the sake of others- I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it.  But He could and He did.

God used a baby to change everything for me twice.

Two thousand years ago on a cross, sent to take the blame for the sins I would someday commit; the baby Jesus changed everything for me.

Then thirteen years ago, an unplanned teen pregnancy and baby Jared’s birth and very existence led me to the foot of that same cross to accept my gift- the gift of forgiveness, grace, mercy and salvation

Please let us not forget the true meaning of Christmas and how a baby changes everything!