The road trip from…

well, you know where!   H-E-double hockey sticks, as we used to say when I was younger.

The next time that I agree to drive to Florida from West Virginia, by way of Indiana (don’t ask) will someone please tell me to read this post and remember the nightmare of our Florida trip to see family?  Thanks!

We set off the day after Christmas to meet my nephew’s family halfway (somewhere in Ohio) so that he could go to see his dad (my brother) in Florida for the holiday break.

We would be me, two of my sons (the 13 and 12 year olds), my mother in law and my brother in law. I needed other drivers on the trip since 1.) I am not supposed to drive long distances (ha!) and 2.) my hubby couldn’t get the time off to come with us.

During our trip the following things happened:

• nephew’s family did not meet us halfway and we ended up having to drive all the way to Indianapolis to pick him up
• We had to stop twice on the way to Indianapolis to change the headlight and windshield wiper blades on my MIL’s van
• It was snowing so an eight hour trip took 10 hours
• We picked up my nephew around 1opm Saturday evening and took turns driving while the kids slept.
• Around 3:45am and somewhere in TN we hear a funky noise coming from the car
• We stop at a truck stop to investigate.  I make sad puppy dog eyes at the mechanics there and they look at the van.
• They tell us there is something wrong with the wheel bearing and axle and we shouldn’t drive it any farther.
• The reality that we are stranded in TN on a Sunday sinks in while trying to entertain my children and 5 year old nephew at the truck stop while we devise a plan.
• We find that Enterprise is open on Sundays but only the one location that does NOT come pick you up (they should really mention that in the fine print of those promising commericials).  So, MIL and I take a taxi to the Nashville airport to rent a car.
• After eight hours of being stranded at the truck stop we get back on the road to FL.
• I had asked the rental company for a mini van and they considered a Jeep Commander comparable.  Ha!  We drove with kids sitting on pillows, suitcases and duffle bags were at everyone’s feet except the person driving.  OMgoodness, we were cramped.

I won’t even go into the drama of the Ebay sale gone wrong, the snow storm at home that kept us watching for when we could come home and how you should really make sure you loooove your MIL before traveling 36 hours in a vehicle with her (one way).  Do you feel my pain yet?

So, what made the trip worth it?  Getting to see this little guy (my nephew Trey) who has grown so much since I was down there in November.

Needless to say, no more road trips planned for this mama.  I don’t care how much the airlines are price gouging at the holidays…we fly or we don’t go. period!

Join us for more WW here and here.

A Talk with Jesus

I admit it.  I let it get to me.

The hustle and bustle of holiday preparations.  The stress of moving.  Preparing for a looong road trip the day after Christmas.  Seemingly ungrateful children.  The 20″ of snow that threw a wrench in my plans for the week (and y’all know how I feel about my plans)

I, Melissa Smallwood, of Organized Life by Design, was feeling grumpy and overwhelmed (rather Grinch like, as a matter of fact)

I waited too long to take my feelings to the One who could help.  But last night I finally did and this is how our conversation went:

“Melissa, Melissa; you are worried about so many things…but only one thing is needed.”

Ahem, Jesus…I hear you.  But these things are important.  Do you realize I haven’t even put up a Christmas tree this year?  What kind of a mother am I?

“Come sit for a moment, my child.  Let me take a look at this load you are carrying.”

I reluctantly sat at His feet, thinking of all I could be accomplishing during this time.  As I lowered myself to the floor, I arranged my burden around me (so I could keep an eye on it).

“That is quite a load there.  May I take a look?”

I handed Him the first box of burden.  It was labeled obligation.

Cringing at the thought of Jesus opening and seeing all the projects I had committed to that I had not consulted with Him about, I began to cry.

Seeing my tears, Jesus reached down and caressed my face.  “My dear sweet girl, this is a burden you come back to, time and again.  Please let me carry it for you.”

Even being offered this out (so to speak) from the baking, decorating and shopping frenzy I hesitated to allow Jesus to take that box.  What would people think if Mrs Holiday I didn’t put up a tree, deliver cookies to the neighbors and have a handmade bow atop each present?

As if reading my thoughts (He can do that, you know?) Jesus repeated words to me that He had spoken some 2000 years before : “Come to me, Melissa.  You are weary and burdened and I can give you rest.  Take MY yoke (and I will take yours) upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” (paraphrase Matthew 11:28,29)

I was beginning to feel lighter not carrying that box of obligation on my lap so when Jesus reached down for the next box I did not resist.

“Ahh“, He said.  “Another burden you consistently pick back up- expectation“.

I looked downward, embarrassed that I am so predictable.  It is so easy to fall into our old patterns.

My expectations of myself can never be surpassed by anyone else’s expectations of me.

Shaking His head, in a gentle and compassionate way, Jesus said “You strive for that thing that can not be obtained- perfection. When will you stop striving and realize that it is in your weakness that I am strong? (I Corinthians 1:26-30) Please don’t waste your time and talents, those things I put in you to make you unique and special on striving for something you will never attain.  Just simply abide in me, my child.”

By this point I realized how far I had traveled off the path.

Jesus continued to speak words of life to me “Don’t you see, sweet girl?  Those moments when you are striving for everything to be perfect, you are standing in the way of My will.  Let us walk together, don’t try to strain ahead.”

There was one more box of burden.  I wanted to give this one to Jesus desperately, for it is the one that caused me the most pain and inner turmoil.  But, knowing that relinquishing this burden meant dealing with this burden in His will created a battle within my flesh. People would be let off the hook, wrongs would not be righted, things would never change.

Sensing my reluctance, Jesus put his nail scarred hands on this box. My hands shook as He lifted it from my grasp.  “Do not fear.  I will give you the strength, let my light shine in to this area of darkness.  All I ask from you is to love.  Love freely, love willingly, love generously.”

But, I can’t.  It is too hard.

“You can do anything with the strength I provide“. (Phillipians 4:13)  “Will you do this for me?  Will you let my peace rule in your heart and heal every hurt?”

With tears streaming down my face, I released my grasp on unforgiveness.  As soon as I let go of that box of burden, I felt so light and free.

“Now go…enjoy your Christmas.  I want everyone to experience joy and peace this season, not feel bound by burdens like yours.  Will you share this freedom with others?”

And, so I do. If I could shout from the mountain tops I would.  I am free because Jesus came down to this earth as a babe.  Born to a teenage girl in a cave, He came so that you and I could have life, free from boxes of burdens.

Merry Christmas, my friends.  If there are any burdens you carry this season, will you not hand them over to the One that stands waiting to bear them for you?

Our Christmas Letter

Here is our year in review (that got mailed with our Christmas cards last week).  We are still settling in to the new house and packing to leave for Florida to visit family the day after Christmas.  My posting will be sporadic until after the New Year so I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for reading this blog, being such faithful friends and wish you a Merry Christmas and a fabulous New Year!

Dear Family and Friends:

Hard to believe that another year has gone by isn’t it? We have had an eventful 2009! We will try to hit the high points to catch everyone up on the Smallwood goings on J

In the first part of the year (February) Melissa traveled to Florida to visit her brothers and reconcile her relationship with her dad (if possible). The trip was very healing for all involved and Melissa learned that her brother, Thomas and his girlfriend were expecting. (Another boy joined the family: Treyden Edward Nicholson, born 10/4/09).

In March we added a puppy to the mix. Chloe (as debuted on the Christmas card) is a toy mini schnauzer intended to keep Melissa company during the day while Mike is at work and the boys are at school. Somehow, Chloe didn’t get that memo and is a total Daddy’s girl! She had some health issues when she first came to us but everything is fine now.

In June we took a week long houseboat vacation to Raystown Lake, PA. Family friends, the White’s, joined us as well as Melissa’s brother, Ian and her nephew, Marcus. Jared and Matt loved swimming in the lake, especially when coming off the sliding board attached to the roof of the houseboat! Marcus ended up spending most of the summer with us, until late August. It was fun to have a little guy around (for a while) and he celebrated his fifth birthday at our house in June.

Our oldest Jason (16) spent the first part of the year at a rehabilitation facility near Philadelphia, PA. The 3 hour trips to see him once a month were grueling, particularly with Melissa’s health issues. Therefore, we were all thankful when he graduated from that program and came to a residential facility in nearby Winchester, VA in June. He is doing well there, is in 11^th grade and is excited to take driver’s ed this spring (yikes!)

Jared (13) started eighth grade this year and once again made the middle school basketball team. He is the starting shooting guard and loves the game! Jared continues to be in all honors classes and when not at practice, texting or spending time with his friends, he is watching ESPN!

Matt (12) is in seventh grade this year and he too is in all honors classes. Matt is part of an FLL club (lego robotics) that competes with other teams across the state. Their first competition is December 19^th. When not building robots Matt’s nose can be found in a video game or watching the Food Network.

Melissa and Mike got to get away together for the first time in a while in October. Melissa was attending a blogging conference in Las Vegas and Mike joined her. They deserved a break as Melissa had just been discharged from a short hospital stay and would find out upon their return that her new health issues were being caused by systemic lupus erythmatosus (in addition to her MS diagnosis). In November, Melissa did get to travel to Florida to meet her new little nephew, Treyden.

The big news is that we are moving! After almost eight years in this house we are sad to leave it but downsizing is necessary for Melissa’s health and Mike’s sanity J Our new address is 61 Amherst Lane Falling Waters, WV 25419 (effective 12/14/09). We remain in the same school district so the boys did not have to change schools. And, if you know of anyone looking for a great house on lots of land for a great price, send them our way!

We hope this finds everyone well and wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May God richly bless you and yours!

I’ll be back to regular posting in 2010.

I am not a scrooge…

To prove the fact that, despite the absence of a Christmas tree in our home right now, I am not Mrs. Scrooge I decided to swipe this meme from my friend Karie at The Five Fish.

Feel free to swipe it yourself, I would love to know your answers =)

1.) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

I am a professional organizer, people!  I started my Christmas shopping right after Christmas last year.

2.) Tell me about one of your special traditions.
We have a lot of fun traditions.  One of my favorites is driving around to look at Christmas lights and coming home to have hot cocoa with the boys.

3.) When do you put up your tree?

Is this question designed to rub in the fact that my tree is not up yet?  Sheesh!  We typically put it up on Black Friday after I get home from shopping and take a nap.  However, since we are moving this coming Monday, the tree is not up yet.

4.) Are you a Black Friday shopper?
Absolutely!  It is one of my holiday traditions.  This year was a little traumatic as a lady in front of me in line at Target passed out, hit her head HARD on the floor and an ambulance had to come.  Hope she is okay!

5.) Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home?

Since we are the ones with kids in our family, everyone typically has come to us. We usually celebrate with my mom Christmas Eve and my hubby’s family comes over on Christmas morning.  Now that our boys are getting older it is easier for us to travel so it really varies by the year.  This year we will be staying home as we will still be getting settled.

6.) What is your funniest Christmas memory?
I loved the days when the boys were little and would come down to wake up my hubby.  I have the most adorable pictures of the three of them trying to wake Daddy (who was really awake and just pretending to be asleep for their benefit).

7.) What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time?
We like the Polar Express, to watch as a family.  I like the old movies myself.

8.)Do you do your own Christmas Baking, what’s your favorite treat?
Yes, another tradition.  We make cookies and other yummy goodies to give to the neighbors, the mailman, etc.  I need to get baking =)

9.) Fake or Real Tree?

Unfortunately I am allergic to real pine trees so we go with the fake.  It is fairly realistic looking, in my opinion.

10.) What day (as a Mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?
Christmas Eve I get this panic that I didn’t get the kids enough things or the house isn’t decorated enough, ridiculous.  Us mama’s need to cut ourselves some holiday slack!

11.) Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
Typically no, but it has happened in the past.

12.) What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?
I love watching Mike put things together for the boys and they just sit watching his every move.  Priceless!

13.) What Christmas craft do you like the best?
One year we made picture frame ornaments out of mason jar lids.  I treasure those little pictures of the kids!

14.) Christmas music. Yes or No, and if yes What is your favorite song?
I am such a Christmas nerd! I listen to Christmas music non-stop from Black Friday on.  My favorite songs are Joy to the World and White Christmas.  I will be singing A Baby Changes Everything at church this year and that is a beautiful song!

15.) When do you plan to finish all your shopping?
I just have some loose ends to buy and should be finished by this weekend.

A Baby Changes Everything

A baby changes everything…truer words were never spoken.  It has been difficult for me to write about the mundane tasks of the holiday season (the stringing of the lights, the wrapping of presents, the mailing of cards)….maybe it’s moving in the midst of Christmas, maybe it’s fatigue or maybe it’s the Holy Spirit laying the realities of this time on my heart.

The birth of Christ was a gift.  The most important gift of all time.  As with any gift, we have to accept it.  And once we do we are never the same.

Yet, every so often I don’t feel any different and I want the “new”ness of accepting Jesus’ gift for my life, I want it back.

Then I remember, He’s not withholding that from me, I have busied myself right away from it.

I just want to abide in Him this season.

We serve an Awesome God.  When I look at my children the thought of giving them up to be beaten, tortured and murdered for the sake of others- I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it.  But He could and He did.

God used a baby to change everything for me twice.

Two thousand years ago on a cross, sent to take the blame for the sins I would someday commit; the baby Jesus changed everything for me.

Then thirteen years ago, an unplanned teen pregnancy and baby Jared’s birth and very existence led me to the foot of that same cross to accept my gift- the gift of forgiveness, grace, mercy and salvation

Please let us not forget the true meaning of Christmas and how a baby changes everything!

Holiday Help to the Rescue

We are all probably feeling the stress (remind me not to ever move during the holidays again, mmm kay?) of the Christmas season, at least a little, right.  Please tell me I’m not the only one!

One site that has helped ease the tension this season is Hellmann’s Real Holiday Helpings.  Sponsored by Hellmann’s (obviously) this site has recipes (from Bobby Flay, no less), coupons, a game (that my youngest has been playing with me) and a chance to win free groceries for a year!

I have been navigating the site for the last couple of days and find it easy to use, full of useful information and best of all, it’s free!  I even became a fan of their facebook page because there are special giveaways and prizes for their fans.

Head over to the site today to get great recipes, enter to win the grocery giveaway and even watch videos of Bobby Flay!

In addition, I have a $25 American Express gift card to giveaway to one of my lucky readers!

All you have to do to enter the giveaway is visit the Hellmann’s site and tell me what recipe sounds good to you!  That’s all (I detest giveaways that are difficult to enter) you have to do!

If you desire additional entries (who couldn’t use $25 this time of year?) you can do the following things after you have made your qualifying entry as listed above:

• tweet about this giveaway (and leave a comment that you did so)
• become a fan of the Hellmann’s FB page (and leave a comment that you did so)
• leave a comment telling me what you would use the extra $25 for

Good luck!

The winner will be chosen via random.org on December 12th.  **This giveaway is open to residents of the United States and Canada only**

Full disclosure: I participated in this review sponsored by Mom Select and Hellmann’s.  I was given a $25 gift card for my participation as well as a gift card for my readers.  The opinions expressed are solely mine.

Where are you Christmas?

Last year, on Black Friday, Jared and Matt (OMGosh, look how much they’ve grown just since last year) were decorating our upstairs tree.

This is what it looked like when they were finished (this is the tree they are allowed to decorate, hence the ornaments almost touching the floor- ack!)

So, you ask, where is this year’s tree?

IT’S NOT UP!  You see we are moving in 12 days so the hubby mandated suggested that we just wait till we get to the new house to “drag out all the Christmas stuff” (that was a direct quote, blasphemous I tell you!)

Where are you Christmas?  I need stockings, trees, ornaments, candles, Advent calendars and my nativity scene!

12 more days, 12 more days.

For more Wordless/Wordful Wednesday posts visit here and here.

A little bit ’bout me…

I borrowed this blog game from Tami at Hearts Make Families.

As if y’all wanted to know any more about me, right?

Here I go….

1. What color is your favorite hoodie? Red (My Maryland Terrapins hoodie)
2. Do you plan outfits? Most of the time.
3. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red? A Christmas catalog
4. Did you meet anybody new today? Yes, I met my friend’s new boyfriend, Michael
5. What are you craving right now? chocolate, of course!
6. Do you floss? Yes
7. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Yum Yum, my mom’s ham and cabbage soup.
8. Are you emotional? Sometimes more than others
9. Would you dance to the taco song? I have never heard the taco song so I don’t know- not much of a dancer
10. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I have
11. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? who bites ice cream?
12. Do you like your hair? No but the style is convenient for me right now.
13. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes, Rosie O’Donnell (a loooong time ago)
14. What are you listening to right now? the dog barking, my son’s video game, America’s Funniest Home Videos and the sound of me typing
15. Are your parents strict? Depends on what year it was…
16. Would you go sky diving? No way in Hades would this girl jump out of anything moving!
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? I wouldn’t have much of an appetite but…
18. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? the heart on my puppy’s dress
19. Have you ever been in a castle? Yes, when I lived in Berkeley Springs, WV I visited the Berkeley Castle- really cool!
20. Do you know your neighbors? I know our neighbors and love some of them
21. Have you made a prank phone call? No!
22. Do you own a gun? No but my hubby does
23. Can you count backwards from 74? I would certainly hope so….
24. Brown or white eggs? Doesn’t matter
25. Ever been on a train? Yes….
26. What year did you graduate? I dropped out when I was in 10th grade (1996, was pregnant with Jared) and got my GED in 1998.
27. Is your hair curly? Straight, no matter what I do
28. Last time you cried? a few weeks ago when I was having a pity party for myself
29. Ever walked into a wall? More times than I care to admit
30. Do you like your life right now? I love my life.  I feel blessed to be alive, watch my kids grow up, be Mike’s wife and experience everything God places in my path.  There are moments, in my flesh, when I wish I wasn’t sick but then I remember there are so many people worse off than me and I shift my focus back to my blessings.
31. How often do you talk on the phone? I am not a phone person.  I answer it (if I feel like it, to be honest) and speak as briefly as possible.  What is that about?  No idea.
32. What is your favorite animal? My mini schnauzer puppy, Chloe is my favorite pet.  I love pigs though, have since I was a very  little girl.
33. What was the most recent thing you bought? birthday presents for my best friend’s kids
34. Can you hula hoop? I use to…haven’t tried recently
35. Have you ever crawled through a window? yes… ’nuff

So how about you?  Feel free to copy and paste and answer these questions on your blog OR choose your favorite and answer in the comments!