Holy Housewives Chapter 4

Are you enjoying the perspectives on this book?  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!  And, if you like what you read here, please subscribe to receive new posts in your inbox or reader!

Chapter four of Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God is entitled Weary Women.  Lord knows, I have felt weary many times as a wife, mother and Christian woman.  Here are my thoughts on this chapter: 

• The authors first tackle the subject of quiet time.  While I agree with this statement “..to beat ourselves up over our failure to create a worship time that resembles someone else’s isn’t necessary and can sometimes be detrimental”, most of what they said on this topic I disagreed with.  While I do not think it is necessary to be legalistic about “quiet time” (whatever that looks like for you is between you and God).  I was concerned that the authors dismissed the importance of spending time with God EVERY day.  I do remember and can certainly sympathize with mama’s of little ones (the times of 5, 2 and 1 year old boys are still alive and well in my mind, trust me!).  The enemy would love for us to feel so overwhelmed by our day to day routine that we would think it is okay to neglect the most important relationship in our lives- our relationship with Jesus Christ.  Spending time in His Word and humbling ourselves before Him in prayer is a necessity to getting through those times of parenting that leave us exhausted and irritable.  How can your focus be on Him if you aren’t spending time with Him?  One of my favorite verses about this is Psalm 5:3.  Please don’t misunderstand and think that I am saying quiet time can only take place in the morning- I am just pointing to the importance of making time with God a priority in our lives! (Visit one of my new favorite sites, Scripture Dig, for more ideas and resources on this topic)
• I liked the suggestion on page 52 to “copy chapters of Scripture” to have when you have time to sit and read (even if it is in the bathroom, ha!)  I have done this for several years.  I bought a photo album that could fit in my purse at the dollar store and wrote favorite Bible verses on index cards.  I have read those verses in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store, doctor’s appointments and have even had my children read them aloud when arguing or bickering erupted in the back seat of the car.  I think this is a practical way to keep God’s Word close and on our minds frequently throughout our busy days.

Focus on the Father and He will help you get through those days of diapers and sippy cups, just like He now helps me get through the days of cell phones and curfews.

Be sure to check in with Betty to see her thoughts on this book as well.

Do you struggle to find time with God each day?

Holy Housewives- Week Three

Have you ever been put in your place by God? 

That is what happened to me last week.  It is a humbling experience and not a coincidence that I am reading this book right now!

So, my thoughts on chapter three (with a fresh perspective from working through some trust issues with God):

• One of the questions posed in this chapter is what do you say when someone asks what you do?  Do you feel tempted to say “I’m just a stay at home mom”, etc?  That just word is dangerous.  Raising our kids is a sacred calling.  When I worked outside of the home, I never qualified my position as “just a marketing director”.  So, why do we do that when we have made the decision to make homemaker our full time vocation?  Stasi Eldredge, an author that I love, points out that anytime we say “just” about ourselves, we are diminishing the value of God’s creation.  Let’s not diminish the value of what we do by feeling the need to justify our decision to stay home with our children!
• While I agreed with this chapter, I found the example of the “professional” stay at home mom condescending and judgemental {something I really wish the authors of this book strived to stay away from}. 
• That being said, the authors make valid points.  I was not taught home to keep a home or cook.  When I became a wife at the age of eighteen, my husband had to teach me how to make macaroni and cheese out of a box.  I never have learned to sew and the things I know about housekeeping and parenting I have learned in adulthood. Is that way it should be?  No.
• Now, later on in the chapter, the authors take things too far for me again by suggesting that a church sponsored mother’s day out is, in so many words, insulting to mothers and their babies.  I beg to disagree.  Not all of us as women have made it to the point of being able to handle motherhood on our own when motherhood comes into our lives.  Those times without my children allowed me to recharge and be a better mom when I picked them back up.  I do not think mothers should be guilted into believing that leaving your child in a church nursery is inadequate parenting.
• I also agree with the authors that our families are our PRIMARY ministry as women and moms.  However, I completely disagree that our contribution ends there.  This is a very individual decision based on the call God places on a woman’s heart and her relationship with Him.  Out of the overflow of my relationship with Christ and my desire to tell His story, I accept speaking engagements that take me away from home and devote a certain amount of time each day to writing.  These things are not done at the detriment of my family (if I am in line with the Spirit) and are part of the ministry of my life.  I won’t apologize for or doubt the validity of that call.  It is between me and God (and my husband).

 

As we venture to chapter four, I just encourage you to read this book with a prayerful and open mind.  Also, don’t forget to check out Betty’s thoughts on this week’s reading as well.

Now, on to how God put me in my place.  Have you ever been praying for God to remove the speck from your husband’s eye and instead he points out the telephone pole sticking out of your own? Yeah, that is where I am at this week….

Holy Housewives- Week Two

I am enjoying this book and reading through it with Betty and all the wonderful ladies joining us.  This week we are sharing our thoughts on chapter 2 of Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God entitled You Mean It’s Not All About Me? 

Chapter two made many points that resonated with me, including this statement on page 11:

We, that is, Christians as a whole, spend far more time reading self-help books and listening to motivational speakers than we do reading God’s Word or praying and making our requests known to Him.

I wish I could say this has never been the case for me but I would be lying.  I have frequently become caught up in a book or theory and failed to take it back to the Word to measure it’s validity.  Always, always (including with the book we are currently reading) confirm with God that what you think and read about something are in accordance with His Word and His will. 

The second part of the chapter regarding Desperately Seeking “Me Time” had me a bit irritated.  The author makes the connection that because the Scriptures teach that God supplies all our needs (Philippians 4:19), feeling the need to take care of ourselves as women is unnecessary. 

While I certainly agree that self-love can be taken way to far and become an idol, I fundamentally disagree with the fact that needing a break, getting a pedicure or whatever soothes your soul is selfish or sinful.  This book comes across as legalistic at times and I hope that, because it does have a strong and important message, doesn’t turn anyone off from gleaning the useful parts.

A section in chapter 2 that I agreed with was the Dying to Live section.  On page 21 the sentence “Biblical motherhood means sacrafice, selfless love, and faithful dedication”.  I would even add that Biblical love entails all of those things as well.  And, then I loved this section (even wrote Amen! next to it in my book):

It means loving God more than we love our children- and consequently, He will equip us to truly love them and prepare us to serve them through Christ our Lord.  It means impacting future generations by our faithfulness now.

I don’t know about you but that is convicting to me as a mother.  Children are not always easy to love (trust me, I have teenagers).  The strength and ability to love them is supernatural and comes from Christ.  That is so comforting to me.  I don’t have to be enough, Him through me is enough.  He will equip us to be the best moms we can be and just the right moms for the children He has entrusted us with.

This week be reading Chapter 3- Embracing Your Sacred Calling.  I look forward to sharing my thoughts and hearing yours!

Holy Housewives- Week One

I am excited to dive into this book with you and look at the premise and the message the book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, teaches.

It is not a coincidence that while I am reading about being a keeper of the home, I encountered some strong opinions (on both sides of “the camp“), during my blog reading.  There was this video and then this response to it.  I am sure that this debate will continue so I wanted to address something, for the interest of this book club.

*I (and I feel pretty confident that Betty agrees with me on this) do not want us to read this book and feel condemned, particularly if you work outside the home or don’t agree that our calling is to the home.  I don’t completely agree with that premise and you will see what I believe as I talk about our reading assignment.  This topic can bring out some strong emotions- I want to encourage us to discuss these issues in the Spirit and not in the flesh.  I want us to pray through this book, pray through how we feel about what it says and healthy discussion is welcome in the comments and on the forum.  What is not okay is attacking anyone because they believe differently than us.  Let’s be grown-ups (just like the folks I linked to are) about this and agree to disagree if that becomes an issue.*

Now that all of that is off my chest here are my thoughts on our reading assignment for week one (the preface):

• The preface is full of definitions and laying the foundation for what the authors believe.  Of course, the Proverbs 31 woman is mentioned.  I bring up this woman that most of us have a love/hate relationship with often on my radio show and in my writing.  I particularly like this statement in the book “She is known in the community and honors her husband by representing him well while in public, yet her hub of productivity and her primary focus is the place she most loves to be—her home” (preface, xx).  This can be convicting, at least to me, because even though I am a SAHM (WAHM, whatever you want to call it) I can’t always say that my home is the hub of my productivity.  Too often, I am distracted by the computer and that is something I really need to give to God, every day, so that my home is my primary focus! 
• I want us to be cautious as we read the Scriptures that are associated with some of the authors statements.  For example, the quoting of Matthew 24:45 (preface, xxiv) is taken out of context.  I agree that “serving our family is serving the Kingdom” but that is not the context of this verse.

(chapter one):

• I completely agree that our current culture (particularly over the last 50 years) sends erroneous messages to women. That being a stay at home is somehow wasting your potential and all kinds of schools of thought on what the authors refer to as “me-ology”.  However, I felt that the example of Carolyn and Leslie was exaggerated for emphasis of the author’s point.  In addition, there was the insinuation that we shouldn’t view the roles of husband and wife as equal.  I do beg to differ on this point.  While I believe that I am to submit to my husband, that does not mean that we are not equal in the eyes of God.  When you read Ephesians 5 in context, you see that we are all called to submit to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ (verse 21), as Paul talks about the way believers are to live.

I do agree that when we are burnt out and worn out as mothers, wives and keepers of the home, the only One who can fill our cup is Jesus.  We need to walk out this life with Him as our only fuel or we will be tired, frustrated and confused.

What did you discover as you read the assignment this week?  Be sure to stop by the forum for our assignment for next week and visit Betty’s blog to hear her thoughts as well.

Holy Housewives challenge for this week:  Identify the areas in life that you feel tired, discouraged or defeated.  Pray that God will restore you to spiritual health in those areas and together with Him, make a plan to step out of those pits.