Every Other Sunday

Every other Sunday I see….his deep dark eyes, so much like his daddy.  His curly hair that he has obviously put tremendous effort {and hair gel} into staying in position.  I look up to him now.  This mama’s head coming to his chin, the chin that he leaves stray hairs grow on so that people will know he has the ability to grow hair on his chin.  I see a young man, leaving behind the remembrances of boyhood, much like a snake shedding it’s skin.  I see his face frown and his forehead wrinkle when he realizes our time together is over.  I see that same face beam when his dad mentions his upcoming driving lesson.

Every other Sunday I hear…his sometimes deep, sometimes crackling voice tell me about what he has been doing.  I hear animation and excitement when he talks about photography and the future.  His words are articulate and mature, his topics not as much.  I hear regret and resignation when he speaks of the past.  I hear his need to be more independent tempered by his need for structure.  I hear the little boy of yesterday, tugging on my pant legs as this not so little boy says “Mama, did I tell you about xyz?”.  I hear his need for attention and reassurance that he is loved, NO MATTER WHAT.  I hear his tentativeness when he asks how his brothers are doing.

Every other Sunday I smell…that mix of sweat, hair gel, deodorant and toothpaste that only comes from adolescent boys.  It is an odor barely veiled by the extravagant use of cheap cologne.  I smell a boy, trying to be a man…figuring out what attracts others to him and what is offensive.  I smell fabric softener, different from the scent I use at home and it serves as just another reminder that home is where he does not reside.

Every other Sunday I touch…his soft hands, not worn by work or affected by weather.  The hands of an artist.  I touch his sticky hair and put my hand on the small of his back.  I allow myself to squeeze him in, as if I wish I could just envelope him inside me, away from the cares and hurts of the world, during a brief hug.  Sometimes I find my hand cupping his cheek, wanting to count the freckles {or angel kisses} like we used to do when he was little.

Every other Sunday I feel…a compulsion to pretend like the last five years haven’t happened. I feel the desire to take him and run away so that we can be all together as a family again, even though I know that cannot {and should not} be. I feel angry that he did not come to live with us sooner.  I feel protective like a mother bear for her cubs. I feel frustrated that this is how our life has to be.  I feel helpless and sometimes hopeless.

And, then I remember that at least I have every other Sunday to see, to hear, to smell, to touch and to feel what it is to be Jason’s mama.  And I thank God for every other Sunday.

Suffer the little children…

As most of you know I have a passion for parentless children.  Whether that be orphans in Haiti or foster children here in the United States, I believe in the promise of Psalm 68:6 where the Bible says:

God sets the lonely in families…

I love that verse.  If you want to be further inspired about this important topic, my friend Kim is guest posting on @RealLifeSarah’s blog.  You can read her touching story here.

Then read below to see how you can get more information about an organization that finds forever families for children that need them.

Last year AdoptUsKids hosted two adoption chats on Twitter.  As a result, some Twitter users actually made the decision to move forward with the adoption process.

If you missed our earlier events, please join us for a live Twitter party later this month, sponsored by AdoptUsKids. AdoptUsKids is a national project whose role is to recruit and connect foster and adoptive families with waiting children throughout the United States.

Funded by the Children’s Bureau of the Administration for Children and Families, AdoptUsKids hosts a national photo listing website contains photos and information about children in foster care waiting for families to adopt them. You may have seen some of the Public Service Announcements with the message “You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent.”

Each year the campaign has a specialized target, based on the needs of children in care.  This year’s focus is finding homes for African-American children in care, who make up 31% of the children waiting to be adopted. African-American children are overrepresented in the foster care population relative to their percentage in the U.S. general population. Because of this, African American children often wait longer to be adopted.

To learn more about adopting from foster care and how to help spread the word about children in care waiting for a forever family, please visit AdoptUsKids. To search for children in your area, visit the AdoptUsKids Child Search.

Please join us Tuesday, February 23rd from 2:00 to 3:00 p.m. EST on Twitter for a safe and open informational chat about the benefits of adoption, as well as adoption from foster care with representatives from AdoptUsKids.

To participate, please follow @AdoptUsKids and @resourcefulmom, and use the hashtag #AdoptUsKids. Facebook users may also wish to become a fan of AdoptUsKids on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/AdoptUsKids.

This campaign is brought to you by Global Influence Network.

Somebody to love me….

Wondering if you are worth anything to anyone…

Wondering if anyone cares about your future….

Wondering if this is what the rest of your life will look like…

Wondering if there is a point to even trying to do your best because no one is there to notice….

I will never forget the year+ that I spent in the US foster care system.  It was a scary and lonely time, full of disappointment, full of experiences I would rather not remember.  I was moved to three different homes in that short period of time (the last family was a sweet Christian family that I will always remember with fondness) and I was separated from my brothers for the first time in my life.

People forget that the majority of children in the foster care system are there because of something their parents did or did not do, not because of something the children have done.

These are not “bad” children, they are children that need to know what unconditional love and permanency look like.

November is National Adoption Month.  Obviously, children in the foster care system are close to my heart due to my personal experience as a child.  I am also an adoptive parent of a child who needed a mom after his biological mother’s parental rights were terminated due to her abuse and neglect.  I am proud to use my platform, my blog to tell you about an organization dedicated to helping foster kids find their forever families.

The mission of AdoptUsKids is to recruit and connect foster and adoptive families with waiting children throughout the United States.  Funded by the Children’s Bureau of the Administration for Children and Families, the national photolisting website contains photos and information about children in foster care. A national adoption public service advertising recruitment campaign was launched in July 2004 in a partnership of the Children’s Bureau, the Ad Council, and AdoptUsKids, with the goal of raising awareness of the significant number of children in this country waiting to be adopted. New PSAs have been developed as an extension of this highly successful campaign. The latest series of ads in this award-winning campaign target the African American community, in keeping with the effort to diligently recruit from communities representative of the children in care.  Thirty-one percent of the children in foster care waiting to be adopted are African American; African American children are overrepresented in the foster care population relative to their percentage in the U.S. general population. Because of this, African American children often wait longer to be adopted.

Please take a moment and visit http://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care-advocacy/ to learn more about adoption from foster care and how to help spread the word about children in care waiting for a forever family. You can also search for children in their area by visiting: http://www.adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx.

If you are on Twitter you can follow @perfectparent (http://twitter.com/perfectparent or http://twitter.com/adoptuskids) and become a fan of AdoptUsKids on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/AdoptUsKids.

I was fortunate enough to have grandparents that were awarded custody of me so I didn’t have to spend a prolonged period of time in the foster care system.  There are MANY children that are not that fortunate.  Please consider how you can help them.

This campaign is brought to you by Global Influence, the former Momfluence network.