Knitted together by God.

• Shayla became ours when she was 18 and blessed us with the gift of having Sweet Pea in our lives {she is a rowdy and adorable 15 month old right now}
• Jason was Mike’s son from his first marriage but because of abuse and neglect came to live with us in 1999 when he was six years old and I adopted him in 2000.
• I was pregnant with Jared when Mike and I met.  He was in the delivery room when Jared was born and legally adopted him.
• Matt was unplanned {never take birth control and antibiotics at the same time} and is the only one that has both my and Mike’s blood running through his veins {which we frequently use as the excuse for his stubborn personality}

I tell you all of this because I truly believe what the Bible says in Psalm 68:6, God sets the lonely in families.  God designed each one of these unique and amazing kids to be mine.

Through the years, our family has had the privilege of opening our home to those in need.  Right now, one of my dear friends and her daughter are staying with us as they get back on their feet.

And, I need to brag on my boys.

Matt playing with a straw

Shayla is away at school and Jason is away at basic training.

Jared {15} and Matt {14} are  home {along with Sweet Pea}.

To be honest, I am usually the mom that notices the irritating things, the wrong choices, the negative.  I have been praying for God to open my eyes to see my boys in a different light as we navigate these teen years.

Jared and I at a concert {with Shayla being silly in background}

Having our friends here has done just that.  My boys are patient.  They have big hearts.  They are generous, caring and loving.  They put others needs before their own.  They don’t judge.  They share and give and love.  They show genuine concern.

Jared was worried because I had to take him to school early on the first day that our friend’s daughter was going to ride the bus.  He felt bad because he wouldn’t be there to help her.

And, I realized that God was answering my prayer.

I have good boys, growing up to be good men.

I am thankful for both of them and they make me proud.

My water broke in the car on the way to the hospital and he was born in the hallway as I was wheeled off the elevator to the labor and delivery floor.

Matthew was coming, whether I was ready or not. {He had been trying to come since 26 weeks but praise God, we made it to 38!}

At home was his sixteen month old brother and in Iowa was his four year old brother, waiting for us to come and rescue him.

I was about to become a mama to three boys under the age of five, ready or not.

Now, Matt is fourteen.  It is a privilege to watch him become a smart, inquisitive, witty, compassionate, unique, creative young man.

Ready or not, my boy is growing up.

Cuddling with Chloe

Happy birthday, Matt!  I love being your mama!

and the counting of gifts continues {#341-350}

~  getting gussied up for my childhood best friend’s wedding reception

~  seeing my hubby all gussied up, he is so handsome

~  singing the B-I-B-L-E with Sweet Pea {her favorite song}

~  antibiotics for a nasty urinary tract infection

~  hot tea with lemon and honey for a nasty head cold

~  feeling better before a new week starts

~  straight talk with our teenagers

~  going through James with fellow believers online and in “real” life

~  unexpected circumstances that draw me straight to His feet

~  the comforting words of Isaiah 26:3 {thanks, Jill}

What are you thankful for?

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Today’s culture and society has lost sight of the seriousness of the covenant of marriage and the role of sex. Sex is symbolic of a covenant between a married man and his wife. A covenant that we will be held accountable to one day.
In a culture where sex is viewed casually and more than half of marriages end in divorce, we as moms need to teach our boys about covenant….

You can read the rest of this post at The M.O.B Society, where I write the monthly column, Tackling “the talk”.

Ahem…yeah.

So, anyway here I am playing catch up again {days 15-22}.  Bear with me, mmmk?

Day 15: Show your dream home

If this question had been posed three years ago, my dream would have materialized quite differently.  However, since reading Radical and going on a journey with God {as a family} our view of our future and our desires for that future have changed.  No longer do I want to move to the mountains to a log cabin with my hubby.  I don’t need granite counter tops or hardwood floors {although I’m not opposed to either}. In fact, we made the decision to downsize in December 2009 to a house half the size with a lot an eighth of the size and have not regretted it {except for the days I long for peace and quiet SOMEWHERE in this house}.

We are open to moving, if God calls us to.  If I could live anywhere I wanted, it would be southern Florida to be near my brothers, nephews and my dad. And, the house in those dreams looks like this:

This is a picture of my brother Tom’s house and I would be more than happy to be his next door neighbor!

{skipping day 16 because the crazy things I have done in my life are not things I am sharing with the interwebs}

Day 17: Something you are insecure about/something you are proud of

I am crazy insecure about my weight.  I have gained over 45 pounds since 2008 when I was diagnosed with MS.  The inactivity from injuries and illness, coupled with side effects of medication plus a lack of self control in the face of depression has me weighing more than I ever have.

I am also insecure about my writing.  Whenever I press publish on a post {or don’t} it is usually because of paralyzing fear, rooted in insecurity {which truly equates to pride}.  This is something I talk with the Lord about often.

I am proud of the children I have raised.  My boys are special, funny, polite, confident and most importantly, they love Jesus.  Since I started at this parenting thing young and not knowing Christ, I am constantly amazed at who they are growing up to be.

I am also proud of my hubby and I.  We married as two wounded unbelievers and have weathered many storms.  We have been together for almost 16 years and have been married for 14!  Praise the Lord!

Day 18: Wedding Talk

I’ve already posted a picture of our wedding day for this challenge so I will tell you a little about the day.  It was a hot, clear day in July and we had a beautiful outdoor ceremony.  One of my favorite memories of the day is that my great-grandmother Inez attended from Florida.  She passed away in 2006 but she always talked about that day and I am blessed that she was there for it.  Marrying Mike is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Day 19:  Talents and Hobbies

I love to write.  Some say it is a talent of mine.  I also sing….I love to sing on the worship team at church {and in the shower and the car}. I like to read, travel, ride on the back of my hubby’s Harley and spend time with my kiddos {fur and human!}

Day 20: Something I wish I could forget

The sting of being rejected by your mother is one that fades {until it happens again, then the wound feels as fresh as the first time} but does not ever go away.  I wish that it did.

Day 21: Favorite Recipe

I love the burgers my hubby makes for the grill.  You can find the recipe on my local blog.

Day 22: Favorite Websites

For inspiration: (in)Courage, A Holy Experience

For frugal living: Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, Pennies and Blessings

For the writer’s soul: Chatting at the Sky, Lysa TerKeurst’s blog

For parenting boys: The M.O.B Society {I write a monthly column there called Tackling the Talk}

For fun: Scary Mommy, Rage against the Mini Van

For making me think: A Deeper Story, Desiring God blog, Shaun Groves

Kindred Spirits: Joy in this Journey, Teri Lynne Underwood, Brooke McGlothlin, Lynette Kraft, Marla Taviano, She Sparkles, We are THAT Family

And, that is ENOUGH about me for one day

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We are back in the groove, the school groove that is.

Our mornings look something like this:

• Smack at the alarm clock at 5:30.  As I come out of the room, Jared is getting in the shower and Matt is still snoring in his bed.
• Take Chloe {the dog} or Sweet Pea {the baby} and put them on Matt’s bed to wake him from his slumber.
• Cook breakfast for hungry boys while nursing my first cup of coffee.
• Pray over boys as they eat their breakfast.
• Make sure they haven’t forgotten anything {to no avail!  Most mornings I discover something they forgot after they have left.  This morning it was Matt’s Spanish II notebook}
• Hug goodbye as they leave for the bus at 6:25.
• On a good day, I fill my second cup of coffee and get started on my day.  On a real day, I crawl back under the covers and re-set the alarm for 8am.

Matt said his first day went “ok”.  He is on the golf team, which requires a 3 hour practice twice a week.  He had practice last night and that, combine with homework in two of his classes, he was not a happy camper that bedtime rolled around before he touched a video game {I was secretly pleased}.  Jared enjoys school {he is such an extrovert}.  He is going out for the wrestling team this year {although he can’t condition right now because of his finger injury}.

Jason is leaving for MEPS today and will be gone until tomorrow evening.  In about a week, we should know the dates for his basic and AIT training. We signed Miss S. up for her college classes that will begin October 4th.  And, Sweet Pea will be a year old on September 1st.

Life is spinning so fast, I am in a bit of a daze.  I am attempting to embrace each moment as I know life is about to change in big ways.

Embracing Ecclesiastes 3:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,  a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.  ~Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Have your kids started their school year yet?

this post is linked to Titus Tuesdays

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I have been a parent for half my life.

I will always be a mama.

But, the sands are shifting under my feet.

I have never liked that feeling.

My youngest will be 14 next month.  We are going to his high school orientation tonight.

I want to rewind time.

I look at photo albums and family movies and cry.

I’m not ready for this.

Time marches on…dragging me, kicking and screaming behind.

I know not what God has in store and I know that I still have a lot of parenting left to do.

It just feels like a door is closing and it makes me want to cry.

{The special challenges and joys of parenting teens will be the focus of my new site, Inbetweenmoms.com, launching September 1st.  Look forward to a humbling line-up of contributors (“mentor moms”) and articles for those of us parenting “between double digits and the empty nest”.  Details coming soon!}

When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts.  ~Robert Brault

My two oldest sons did something not so smart over the weekend.

I was disappointed in their behavior.  I was angry at their deception and I was livid that they included a visiting friend in their shenanigans.

Thankfully, I refrained from yelling and screaming like my flesh wanted to.  After making sure everyone was safe, I called the mom of the visiting friend and sent him home with Miss S. as the driver and I sent the other two off to bed.

I laid in bed {I let the hubby sleep through this because he gets up at 3:30am to drive 1 1/2 hours to work} getting angrier and angrier. Then, I turned to my Father and said, Lord, what do you do with these kids and their mistakes?

I had to get out my journal and write down the thoughts He gave me.

• You love them.  Never in our angriest moment should our children doubt that we love them, no matter what mistake they make. I Peter 4:8 tells us to “love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins“.
• You extend grace to them.  Memories of mistakes I made at 15 {much bigger than this mistake!} ran through my mind.  My boys know what they did was wrong.  They are aware of the consequences. They know I am entitled to hold it over their head for awhile, but what good does that really do?  Grace isn’t something you earn, it is a gift.  And, what better way to learn of this gift than from your parents?  “And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace”. ~ Romans 11:6
• You correct them.  Mistakes do have consequences and my boys will be facing those over the next two weeks.  As a matter of fact, I didn’t even have to ask for them to relinquish certain privileges.  Jared brought me his cell phone.  They knew what they were risking when they made the choice they made.  “Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one that heeds correction gains understanding”. ~ Proverbs 15:32
• You move on with them.  We aren’t going to get stuck at the site of a mistake.  We will take the lessons learned and move on.  My kids are good kids with a sin nature, just like their dad and I.  If we focus only on the mistakes, rather than the lessons and the living, than we are missing the point.“For in Him we live and move and have our being”. ~ Acts 17:28a

I am prepared for them to make more mistakes.  Mistakes are the stepping stones of character building. I am just thankful that God reminded me of all of this before the hubby and I sat down with the kids…or much more of my flesh would have shown up!

How do you handle disobedience?

She had no idea what I was talking about and acted like she thought it was a silly idea. Until she saw the types of things I was putting in there.  Now, she will point things out when we are out and about and comment how nice an item would be for her hope chest {that girl makes me laugh all the time}

My grandmother had a hope chest for me.  It meant the world to me, a child that did not have many ties to tradition, to have this box of meaningful items given to me when Mike and I married.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the hope chest concept, it is a box {we use a trunk in our family} that is used to collect household items, recipe books, linens, etc. that a girl will need when she becomes a wife {or goes out on her own}.

Some of the items that have made their way into Miss S’s hope chest are:

• kitchen towels, potholders in an adorable green and brown
• A recipe book that I compiled with my favorite easy recipes
• picture frame
• candle holders

I watch for sales at stores like Kohl’s and Target as well as products from Dayspring.  They have some beautiful home decor items that bring the Word into your home in attractive ways.

She doesn’t know everything I put in there and that is part of the fun.  Jason, our 18 year old son, recently asked “what does a boy have to do to get a hope chest?”  He is all for the equal opportunity

I am so excited to have someone to pass this tradition on to and, in a few years, Miss S. and I can go shopping for a hope chest for little Sweet Pea.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates ~Deuteronomy 6:6-7

 

What are some traditions you intend to pass down to your kids?

This post is linked here

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Have you ever been in a rush to catch a train?

Push your ticket through, run up the escalator, race out of breath only to reach the platform in time to see the train disappearing down the track.

Parenting, as of late, feels much like this to me.

Jason and Miss S. are 18 and 19, respectively.  They have graduated high school this year, are making plans for their future and stepping out into the “real” world.

It keeps me up at night.  Neither of these precious ones has been with me since day one of their lives…perhaps some of the trepidation comes from that.

Did I do enough, teach enough, love enough?

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ~Isaiah 43:1

I am afraid.  I can’t control what happens from here.  I don’t know what their lives will hold.  I can’t protect them from pain.  I am afraid.

Fear is not of God.  It is that simple.

Did I do enough?  Probably not.  I am a fallible, imperfect, flawed human.

Is God enough?  Absolutely.

So, I relinquish the outcome to Him over and over and over again.

Do you ever feel completely inadequate in your parenting journey?

God designed the relationship between a man and a woman to be a life long commitment.  In our home, we do not believe that the culture of serial dating reflects God’s plan for marriage and sex.

You can read the rest of my thoughts on this subject at the M.O.B Society today.