Teens and Respect

Thank you all so much for the discussion that we had on last week’s topic.

This week I wanted to focus on respect.  Sunday I picked up the latest issue of Home Life magazine at church (shameless self promotion, I am quoted on page 54).  I also picked up the February issue and it had a very convicting article about the spiritual impact of your child’s disrespect. This article stepped all over my mama toes so I wanted to take a few minutes to discuss the meat of it today.

Here is the line that really stuck with me:

If you aren’t teaching your children to respect you, how can you expect them to respect other authority figures, and most importantly, a holy God?

I have to admit that my children were much more respectful of me (in tone, words and actions) when they were smaller.  I take responsibility for the decline in their respect because I am not nearly as consistent with discipline as I was when they were little.

To be honest, it was easier to discipline them when they were five and six years old.  A time out or sending them to bed early nipped behavior in the bud.  My boys were crushed if I was upset or disappointed in them.

That is simply no longer the case!  Grounding from privileges takes a lot of work to enforce and I often find myself giving in.  And, sometimes it really seems ineffective.  However, this article reminded me of parenting principles I had lost sight of including the fact that delayed obedience is disobedience.

Have any of you ever put off listening to God when He lays something on your heart?  I am guilty of that, for sure.  How will our kids ever understand the importance of following through with what God has in store for them if I don’t expect obedience from them the first time I make a request?

The article had the following tips for children that are resisting respect that I found helpful:

• Ban the use of a favorite technology until you see noticeable improvement in your child’s behavior (at this rate Jared will not get his cell phone back until he’s 30)
• Ask your child to rephrase statements to communicate respect (this would probably work better than getting angry and yelling back, huh?)
• Require your child to apologize to others if she (or he) publically displays disrespectful behavior to you. (This one really struck me as something that would be effective.  Kids this age hate being embarrassed yet we allow them to embarrass us with their behavior)
• Draw up a contract that specifically details your expectations and the consequences.  Have your child sign it (we did this after reading this article!)
• Consider seeing a qualified counselor to get to the root of the problem if your child demonstrates excessive aggression.

Aren’t these great tips?  I really needed to read this article because sometimes everyday my kids tell me I am so much stricter than their friend’s parents (and I start having mama guilt).  This article served to remind me that I am not responsible for parenting their friends.  I will give account to God one day for parenting Jason, Jared and Matt.  Period.  And, I am doing them no favors by not expecting the respect I deserve.

Especially when the result of not teaching them the value of respecting authority could have eternal consequences.

What do you think?  I would love to hear in the comments or feel free to write a post about this or any other topic applicable to Teens/Tweens and add it to the linky below.

Sexting: Harmless Fun or Serious Issue?

Welcome to the first edition of Teen/Tween Thursday where each week I will be tackling an important issue facing our kids.

I am a mom of 12 and 13 year old boys, a 16 year old (bonus) son and a 15 year old sister.  I was a teen mom so I am fairly young (31) but am absolutely amazed at the way the world of teens has changed since I was my boys age(s).

I currently (and have in the past) work with teen moms, providing support, advice and showing the love of Jesus in a practical way.  So, teens are on my heart.

And, for the record, I am completely overwhelmed as a mom of teens/tweens.  Anyone that says that the toddler years are the most difficult have  yet experienced the mood swings and back talk of an adolescent!  I figured what better way to navigate the murky waters of parenting teens than sharing the experience on my blog and asking others to link their situations/thoughts/posts in the comments or via a linky. (which by the way is not going to happen today- crazy day- so if you have a post please link it in the comments)

On to today’s topic:

Sexting

From The View to prime time dramas like The Deep End, sexting is a hot topic in the media.  Is it as much of a widespread problem as it is made out to be or are these just kids being kids?  Here is my two cents:

Let’s start with a definition:

Sexting is the slang term for the use of a cell phone or other similar electronic device to distribute pictures or video of sexually explicit images. It can also refer to text messages of a sexually-charged nature. (via about.com)

Then some statistics:

According to a 2008 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• 20% of teenagers have sent text messages of a sexual nature (of themselves)
• 39% of teenagers have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages via electronic devices
• 48% of teenagers have received such messages
• 44% of teenagers admit that such messages are usually shared by the recipient with peers
• 52% of girls 11-16 say they sent these messages as a “sexy gift” to their boyfriend

There are many more disturbing statistics but I think a very valid and scary point is made by the numbers above.

In this day and age we need to be cognizant of the fact that our kids have grown up in a technologically fast paced world (they have moms that blog, for Pete’s sake =))  They have always known what it is like to have computers that fit in your lap and cell phones that not only fit in your pocket but take pictures.

I don’t know if you remember being a teen but temptation and peer pressure certainly existed in my life during that time.  Easy access to the internet, Facebook and smartphones did not.  Our kids are facing all of the above.  As a lawyer on The Deep End said “Aren’t you glad they didn’t have cell phones with cameras when we were sixteen?”

When we dealt with sexting in our home recently I did not handle it well (AT ALL) at first.  Then I took a deep breath, prayed and did some research.

I realized a myriad of things but the most important is that over reacting pushes your child away.  A child that shuts down is not a teachable child.

Next, I learned that being the recipient of such a message does not mean the child requested (nor was comfortable with) receiving it.

Third, I discovered that kids feel a sense of empowerment behind an electronic device that they don’t necessarily have face to face.  (This can be dangerous if such a text is sent to someone that is older or more experienced in sexual matters than the child sending the text)

Lastly, and so easy to forget, sexting is a behavior.  A child that sends an inappropriate message is not a bad child.  Rather they are exhibiting behavior that their brains are not mature enough to forecast the consequences of.

As parents of teens/tweens we have to be the forecaster.  The weatherman (or woman) for things to come.  Sit down and talk with your kids about sexting.  Come up with a plan for what you expect them to do if they are ever on the receiving end of a message.  Talk about appropriate parameters for boy/girl relationships.

And then point them to the media and the coverage of the kids who have been charged as sex offenders for forwarding the messages sent to their phones.  Sexting is considered a crime in many states and one seemingly unimportant decision can end up affecting your child’s life far into adulthood.

Lord, our kids are encountering challenges we did not as kids.  Open our eyes to the issues they face.  Show us how to help them navigate the waters of these crucial years and give us the strength, patience and wisdom to show them Your love through our actions and words. ~Amen

Any comments? ideas? fears?

Time Saving Shopping Tips

I am so pleased to be bringing you a guest post from a friend of mine, Aurelia Williams.  I am part of her Journey to Joy blog tour this week.  She is an inspiring and genuine woman and I am proud to know her.  You can find her great insight and tips at her website.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day – no more, no less, yet time is the one precious commodity that everyone has a problem using wisely. However, there are several ways you can make the most of the time you spend shopping so that you can accomplish a lot, yet still manage to have some free time to do things that you enjoy.

Make it a habit to write a daily list of things to do and things you need. Life gets so busy sometimes especially for moms, you will find it most helpful to have those lists handy. Save extra trips to the store by having a list of necessary items in hand. You can also map and plan your time so you can run all your errands at once to help avoid driving back and forth. In addition, try to shop later in the evening or early morning when the stores are less busy. There is no need to waste an hour standing in line when you can do something more productive with that time. Or try shopping online. Nowadays you can purchase just about everything online, including food items.

Plan your meals ahead of time. You can use a blank monthly or weekly calendar to plan your meals for the upcoming week, making it easier to come up with a shopping list based on the meals. Keep your planned meals posted on the refrigerator door so you know what needs to be prepared. Sometimes it may be tempting to stray from the planned meals, but do your best to stick to it – you will save lots of money and time when you do.

If space for groceries is not an issue, plan to shop in bulk. This will allow you to save time because you will not have to run to the grocery store every week or two. You will also save money because buying in bulk costs less in the long run.

Applying the tips mentioned above will definitely help you save time shopping and free up time to enjoy your family a little bit more.

About Aurelia

Aurelia Williams is a certified Life Coach and author of Journey To Joy, a clear-cut step-by-step action guide to help you claim the happiness.

Of boys and learners permits

I’m not ready for this.

That is what I was thinking as I sat in my (bonus) son’s MDT (multi-disciplinary meeting) yesterday.  The collective decision (which I agree with, I just don’t like) was made that he can get his learner’s permit next month.

My boy is going to drive.  I’m not ready for this.

Let me clarify that he will not be driving in a car that has me as a passenger, observer or anything else.  I should probably be forced to stay indoors with a bottle of valium when I know he is on the road.

My hubby will be his instructor until driver’s ed begins in April.  My sole part of this process (other than taking him to the DMV for the written portion of the test) will be to worry my head off. But will worrying get me anywhere? No.

In addition to the fact that the five year old little boy that let me be his mama after his biological situation didn’t turn out so well is now taller than me, he is also old enough to get behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

And that brings me to my knees.

LITERALLY.

TO MY KNEES.

Because the only one that can keep Jason safe on the road (and with his first job this summer) and with (God please help me) the appointment with the National Guard recruiter in the spring is my Heavenly Father.

The One who loves my dark haired, special boy more than even I do (which is difficult for this mama to fathom) is watching out for him.

Jason’s life has not been easy (and he hasn’t made it too easy on the rest of us either) so I am so glad that he is finally moving in a positive direction.  He is getting to be a “normal” kid- learner’s permit, first job and senior year plans included.

That he is even at this point is proof that God’s been watching out for him all along.

Jesus, take the wheel!

I’m getting ready to spend even more time on my knees in the coming weeks…right where every mama should be.

Understanding Tweens…is it possible?

I am an all or nothing kind of gal.

The upside:  I am fiercely loyal, totally committed and extremely stubborn determined.

The downside: I am extremely determined stubborn, a tad perfectionistic and  a smidge moody

I was on the downside of my personality lately.  Parenting 12 and 13 year olds every day and a 16 year old from afar has pushed me to (what I thought was) my limit.

I felt like a FAILURE with a capital F.

That doesn’t feel good.  The recovering Type A that I am does not take nicely to the F word.

I finally took these feelings to God (why do I too often make that my last stop?) and he expanded my perspective.

So now, instead of feeling responsible for my child’s bad choices, I’m going to allow natural consequences to occur and let the child feel those ramifications, rather than me. (I do not think for a second this will be easy but with God all things are possible)

Instead of focusing on what I cannot change (my child’s choices) I am going to focus on what I will one day be held accountable for (which is NOT my child’s choices):

My Parenting

I am reading an excellent book called Disconnected, Parenting Teens in a Myspace World.  I am not completely through the book yet but I know there is a reason God led me to pick it up off the book shelf (where it has been collecting dust for quite a few months) and here it is…

In the long run the only question that matters is, “Is who I am, how I live, and how I parent providing my child the very best chance to see and experience the Jesus who died to redeem them?” (pg 31)

Wow!  Let me just say that asking myself this question (several times) each day has already helped me focus on the process of parenting, not the outcome.

God also reminded me that while these circumstances may pain me it is actually good that my children make these type of mistakes while they are still under my daily influence and discipline. None of the choices they have made are the end of the world (by any means) and that my past mistakes (a big stumbling block for me) do not predict my child’s behavior.

God has entrusted my hubby and I with part of the mining process…it is up to Him (and Matt, Jared and Jason) to make them shine like diamonds some day.

I was failing…because I was trying to do this parenting thing in my own strength.  But I have humbled myself and come near to God (James 4) and He has proven faithful in renewing my strength and giving me a new parenting perspective.

*just an FYI: if you click on the link and purchase the book mentioned I will make a small commission as an Amazon affiliate*

Multi-Tasking Monday

I am starting my own theme for Mondays as I have so much to share…

First, my vlog for Monday Mingle, hosted by Eighty MPH Mom.

The questions this week were:

Do you have siblings?  Did you want more or less siblings when you were growing up?

What was your wedding song?

Did you do anything special for Valentine’s Day?

Tell us something special about your spouse/partner

Here are my answers:

Then I need to give you my Mamavation update.  I am down another 2.3 lbs this week (which is absolutely amazing considering all the awesome food we had at Blissdom).  I have not been able to walk outdoors because there is 4 feet of snow on the ground but the hubby and I did a lot of unpacking/cleaning so I am assuming that is where I burnt off most of the calories.  I continue to drink ice water and the occasional glass of juice with club soda.  I know that staying away from soda is really helping with the weight loss.  We have switched completely to whole wheat bread (still getting a little complaining from the family on this) and brown rice in my quest to make the switch to whole grains.

Last but not least is my Bible in 90 days progress. Confession time:  I am behind AGAIN.  Having the hubby, kids and 3 dogs cooped up in the house with me all week, after falling behind while at Blissdom, has me still in Job when my #b90days gals are in (one of my favorite books) the Psalms.

I have a plan to catch up (that is how I caught up the last time I was behind) and with the kids (hopefully) going back to school tomorrow I can get back in to my normal routine.

I also need to say that it was amazing to meet so many other women going through the challenge.  Some of us got together for coffee Friday morning at Blissdom and sharing our thoughts, struggles, insights and more was incredible.

That is all for this fine Monday morning!  Head over here to see my menu plan for the week and to enter to win some money saving coupons.

Of Love and Snowstorms

Our pastor reminded us Sunday that love is a verb, an action, a choice.  After being trapped snowed in with my family all week I can certainly attest to this fact.

You know you love your testosterone driven hubby and boys when:

• the cries of “doorknob” and subsequent running through (your much smaller than before, mind you) house doesn’t irritate you any more.
• you can tune out the noise of video games playing throughout the house 22 out of the 24 hours in a given day because the blowing snow and blizzard conditions have kept them indoors ALL DAY
• you go to make dinner and realize that the ingredients for the dish (that is on the menu that takes time for you to plan) have been eaten as an experiment for “what tastes good on Ritz crackers” so you just make omelets and move on
• you willingly put snow pants, gloves, hats and a bazillion pairs of socks in the dryer 20 times a day so that the boys can play in the snow (and go in and out and in and out and in and out) as many times a day as they want
• you lovingly prepare hot cocoa with mini marshmallows EVERY time they come in from going in and out and in and out of the snow.
• you put on your snow boots and get out your camera so they can show off igloos, snow tunnels and forts (that all really look the same but who am I to critique snow architecture?) most every time they go in and out and in and out to play in the snow
• you stop cringing when the doorbell rings, knowing that it is the neighborhood kids who will now join your boys in going in and out and in and out which just means more clothes in the dryer and more hot cocoa to serve

I love them, that is for sure, but if school gets canceled tomorrow I may very well lose my mind. 

A Woman Inspired…I’m Speaking

While I was at a conference last July (you know, the one that changed my life and I can’t wait to go back to this year? yeah, that one!) I had the privilege of meeting Amy Bayliss, co-founder of A Woman Inspired.

I had attended a few of Amy’s online conferences and was so excited to connect with her in person.

Fast forward six months and I have continued to connect with Amy via various endeavors, including Christian Women Affiliate.

As you can imagine I was so thrilled to receive an email from Amy asking me to speak at her upcoming conference, Nurturing Creativity and Efficient Living (kinda right up my alley, huh?)

My session is on Thursday January 28th, 2010 at 12:30pm EST. I will be teaching on Setting Realistic Goals and Priorities.  Here is my session description:

Do you have trouble saying “no”?  Do you find yourself with too much to do and too little time?  This session will help you evaluate things according to your personal and family priorities before committing yourself to something.  Our time is valuable.  With so many demands (and requests) made of our time, we need to learn to be intentional about what we devote ourselves to. Join professional organizer and speaker, Melissa Smallwood, as she teaches how to set your family priorities and goals and how to stick to them

In addition to yours truly there are many other awesome women speaking on the topic throughout the week.  Be sure to register and reserve your spot!  I promise you will be inspired!

Balance, goals and all that

There have been a flurry of posts about New Year’s resolutions, goals, etc.  Many women have been feeling the need to balance it all (particularly those of us that blog/work from home).  While I by no means have the market cornered in work/life balance, I have come a long way from when I first started working from home and thinking that I could do everything, be everything to everyone and have the Martha Stewart model home.

So I wanted to share the biblical model of the Proverbs 31 woman and let you in on a little secret:

Balance is a myth!

God presented us with a pretty tough act to follow in the Proverbs 31 woman, can I get an amen?  Have you ever taken the time to look at her and study her closely?  The Bible does not say she accomplishes all those things in one day or perfectly (which is what I think many of us mean when we say we want balance.  We want to be able to do it all!)

If we take a closer look at the Proverbs 31 we will notice that she does make good choices about how she spends her time and she operates according to her priorities.

• She is purposeful about bringing good to her family through the use of her time, skills and energy.
• She plans ahead and is efficient.  She is prepared for tough times.
• She makes her husband and children feel loved and cared for.
• She is giving, warm and compassionate.

Those are all great attributes that I would venture to guess many of us employ in our own family life?  So, why do we feel like all we do is not good enough?  That we need to be better? Do more?

The Proverbs 31 woman was a force to be reckoned with.

Guess what?  So are you!!

Instead of holding her up as a measuring stick of all that you are NOT, how about noticing the things you are doing right in 2010?

• Do you intend to bring good and not harm to your family?
• Do you work hard to provide them with a clean home (notice I didn’t say perfectly organized and spotless) and healthy meals?
• Do you take the time to laugh with your kids, knowing that these moments are important and having you as their mom is what is truly important?
• Do you love Jesus?

If you answered yes to these questions then, my friend, you are doing a great job.

Our husbands and children may not feel like arising and calling us blessed every moment of every day- that’s okay.  We are flawed, sinful human beings.  God and God alone provides the strength to be the woman He calls us to be.  It will not come through striving or trying harder.  It will only come through submitting and relinquishing control to the One whom is to be praised.

What is your point, Melissa? I want women to cut themselves some slack.  There are strategies to employ that can make life easier (and we will discuss those in the days to come), that can help you get on track with organization and time management but more importantly, there is a users manual (The Bible) that beckons you this year.  I promise that the more time you spend in the Word the more the other areas of your life will fall into place.

That is truly a finer thing!

This post is linked at Run The Earth, Watch The Sky, Kelly’s Korner and Amy’s Finer Things.

2009 Recap…Meme style

Well, I told my kids that I wouldn’t blog this week, as we are in Florida visiting family together.  However, they have deserted me in favor of spending time with their uncles and grandfather so I was going through my blog reader (492 posts, show-off’s) and came across this fun meme at Musings of a Housewife.  So, to quelch my boredom (my little nephew is sleeping) I will share this recap of my year with you, meme style.  If you join in be sure to let me know so I can learn about your year as well (or pick one of the questions and answer it in the comments) I apologize for the lack of pictures but I didn’t bring my laptop on this trip and don’t have access to my picture files =(

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I attended several blogging conferences! (BlogHer ‘09, SheSpeaks, Sitscation) and met many of my fabulous in the computer friends “in real life”.  The hubby came with me to Sitscation and meeting some of my social media pals made this “blogging thing” more understandable to him. (That sentence was full of bad grammar)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I am anti-New Year’s resolution.  Feel free to watch the replay of my webinar on the subject here I did manage to live by our family theme for 2009 which was gratitude.  For 2010, our theme is giving.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes!!! I became a proud auntie (again) on October 4th, 2009 when my little nephew, Treyden Edward, was born. I am sitting here typing this, while visiting his daddy (my little brother) and mama in Florida.

Did anyone close to you die?

Not in my immediate family but my best friend’s grandparents passed away within a week of each other late in the year.  It was difficult to watch her go through that and made me so grateful that my grandparents are still here.

What countries did you visit?
No traveling out of the country this year.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Nothing tangible….but I would love to have the children that I had in 2007 return to me.  Since they entered the tween years they are no longer recognizable to me in any way, shape or form. However, I am told not to hold my breath…this “phase” is one they will be in until they leave home.  If that is true, than this year I need the patience that I lacked in 2009.

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 22 because Jared turned 13, October 4 because I gained a new nephew and December 14 because that is when we moved into the new house.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

God opening the door for me to be the keynote speaker at a local women’s conference in October.  It has certainly sparked a strong desire in my heart to continue to minister to women in that way.

What was your biggest failure?

Obama became President in January (with the help of my vote) and for reasons I will not debate on my blog, I regret my voting decision. I can, however, acknowledge when I am wrong.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Unfortunately, the answer to this question is yes.  I continued to live with multiple sclerosis and changed my treatment to an interferon injection in July.  I suffered a few back injuries (lumbar radiculopathy and a herniated disc) due to MS related falls.  I was then diagnosed with systemic lupus in October.  Not a great year healthwise, that is for sure.

What was the best thing you bought?

Our new house…it takes so much stress off of me to have a one level home that I can keep up with.  Our former home was just too much for me with my health issues.  I am really enjoying the new house (although we have only been there for two weeks)

Whose behavior merited celebration?

I have a friend, Jill,  that I met through blogging (and have since met IRL) to whom I look up to- for her strength, her tenacity, her dedication to what God lays on her heart and, most of all, for her pure love for Jesus.  (She will not like that I am mentioning her but I want her to know  how much her example means to me and how God uses her to impact my life)

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The mainstream media’s behavior has been both appalling and depressing to me this year.  Case in point- click here

Where did most of your money go?

medical expenses, hands down.

 What did you get really, really, really excited about?

So, here is a confession- it does not take much to get me really, really excited about something.  I enjoy life so much!  In addition to being excited about most of the things I have a lready mentioned, I was excited when Jared made the 8th grade basketball team and when Matt’s Lego league got 2nd place for their presentation at the state competition.  I got pretty darned excited when Noelle Mena asked me to be a part of Christian Women Affiliate, as well!  Have you listened to my blog talk radio show yet?

What song will always remind you of 2009?
Probably A Baby Changes Everything b y Faith Hill.  It fit in so well with my testimony, my focus on teen pregnancy ministry this year and I sang it three times at our church’s Christmas Eve Service so it is fresh on my mind.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

a) happier

b)fatter

c) poorer

With the answers to b and c, you would think I would be sadder?  Hmm, maybe the joy of the Lord is my strength!!

What do you wish you’d done more of?

travel…can never get enough travel time.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I worried less about things I can not change…when I give something to God I need to stop taking it back!

How did you spend Christmas?

We had a nice, relaxing Christmas in our new home.  (Now, the day after Christmas was our road trip from H-E-double hockey sticks, which will be it’s own post when I return home)

Did you fall in love in 2009?

Twice…I fell in love with my mini schnauzer puppy when we brought her home in March and I fell in love with my sweet, kissable, chubby nephew Trey.

What was your favorite TV program?

Criminal Minds is truly my favorite TV program.  Other than that, I enjoy anything on the Food Network and HGTV.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Do I need to give the “hate” lecture that my kids hear whenever they say that word?  It is kind of lengthy, just sayin’

What was the best book you read?
The God Chasers by Tommy Somebody (oops).  Really powerful book!  Also, Dangerous Surrender,  by Kay Warren is very moving.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

I learned how to download accompaniment tracks onto CD from the Christian bookstore websites (this saves me having to wait for them to order and ship).  I am not a tech savvy person so figuring out how to burn something onto CD is a BIG deal for me, just so you know =)

What did you want and get?

I wanted a video camcorder to vlog with andone was in my swag bag one of the BlogHer parties.

What did you want and not get?

Children that do not back talk..’nuff  said.

What was your favorite film of this year?

By far, The Blind Side.  Have you seen it yet?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30 in 2009.  Friends took me out to dinner (and don’t tell) but I ca n’t remember what hubby did for me.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Unlimited funds to travel and visit family

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

accessorize, accessorize, accessorize

What kept you sane?

pharmaceuticals…chocolate….sleep and my faith in Jesus (not in that order)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I know this is probably not a popular one, but something about Kate Gosselin resonates with me.  Not the hair do, of course.  But she is strong, determined and handling herself with class in an abominable situation.  I enjoyed her book, Multiple Blessings, and pray every day that she gets back to her faith to get through this difficult time.  And, I don’t like the word fancy…hard to define.

What political issue stirred you the most?

health care reform, for sure. 

Who did you miss?

I really missed my Aunt Janet (she passed away in 2006) this year. She has always been able to lift my spirits.  Several times this year, with my health issues weighing me down, I wished I could pick up the phone and hear her voice or go to the mailbox and find one of her care packages waiting for me. 

Who was the best new person you met?

I got to meet some of my mentors in real life…Alli Worthington, Lysa TerKeurst and the gals from SITS.   I can’t even list all the pals I made at the different conferences because I would leave someone out….I do have to say that the Tip Junkie really made a sweet impression on me too.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009

I learned that time (and the healing blood of Jesus) can heal old wounds.  Reconnecting with my dad after a thirteen year estrangement was one of the most healing and satistfying experiences of my life.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

“Lessons Learned” by Carrie Underwood

There’s some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I’ve been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don’t really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There’s mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should’ve taken,
Been some signs I didn’t see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don’t make no difference,
The past can’t be rewritten,
You get the life you’re given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can’t change the past,
Cause it’s gone,
And you just gotta move on

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