Invisible Tuesday (on Wednesday)

Tune into MomTV today(Wednesday) at 1pm EST for the latest episode of The Invisibles.

Today’s show will focus on Optimism and Chronic Illness.

Here are some links I mention in the show, in case you weren’t able to catch them and the outline of what we will be discussing.

The Power of Attitude:

American Autoimmune Related Diseases Assoc.

Great book: Living Well with Autoimmune Disease

How to have a positive attitude:

• Educate yourself
• Take care of yourself
• Manage fatigue
• Enjoy yourself
• Maintain healthy relationships
• Mind over matter
• Expect bumps (fmaware.org)
• Stockpile fun distractions (fmaware.org)
• Find a hobby (helium)

Are you an optimist or pessimist quiz?  Lifescript

Remember that if you miss the live show, it is available for replay anytime!

Thankful through Trials

People are often taken aback when I say that I am thankful for my illness.  There are many reasons that I feel that my MS diagnosis has been a blessing for me and my family.  I would have probably never slowed down and lived for the moment if not for MS.  I would not have been forced to deal with the deep-seated emotional issues I had spent my whole life holding in.  I would not have learned to let go of the small stuff and be (a tad) less controlling.

In the grand scheme of things our time on this earth is not about us.  It is about how we live our lives for God’s glory.  I spent a week or two really upset last month when I found out I also have systemic lupus. “It’s not fair” and “why me” came out of my mouth and my heart.  I was feeling very sorry for myself And then I remembered:  my trials and issues are really insignificant.  When you are able to step out of your pity party and look at the world around you, it is easy to see that I don’t have it so bad.  I have learned about the plight of chronically ill people in third world countries- hello?  How can I complain when they have no access to healthcare at all?  There are orphans in Eastern Europe that are institutionalized for life (just put in cribs at the age of four) simply because they have Down Syndrome.  Babies that are suffocated at birth because of deformities.

I think of how much this type of atrocity must pain our Lord.  How He must yearn for us to get out of our own little self absorbed box and find ways to help those that are less fortunate and more oppressed than we could ever imagine being.

What would the world be like if we all took an interest in other people’s problems rather than our own?  If we focused on loving everyone we come in contact with instead of trying to leverage situations for our own benefit?

I have been just as guilty as the rest of allowing myself to wallow in my trials.  But, the Lord is speaking to my heart so loudly lately, particularly through a passage in Isaiah 58:6-12

Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break over every yoke?  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?  Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say:  Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sunscorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Now, I don’t know about you but I am interested in feeling like a well watered garden and am thankful the Lord provides the guidelines for doing so.

And, in the midst of a season of thankfulness I pray that none of us lose sight of the true reason for the season!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Do you believe in miracles?

So, many of you may have read my post here about my horrific bout with hives.  Those same hives (combined with passing out, hitting my head and my MS) landed me in the hospital Wednesday and Thursday.

I’m not a big fan of hospitals and it did not escape me (or my poor worried hubby) that this was the week of the one year annviersary of my last hospital stay (that I almost didn’t survive).

But, on to the miracle!  The doctors sent me home Thursday afternoon with no real answer as to when the hives would disappear.  In addition, they put me on steroids, in addition to the other meds.

If it had been any other weekend, I could have taken all the drugs, curled up in bed and slept until I didn’t itch anymore.  However, Saturday was our churches annual conference for women and I was the KEYNOTE SPEAKER…hello, can we say bad timing (or attack from the enemy)?

Friday night I couldn’t sleep. Every time I would toss and turn I would pray…”God, just take the hives away for tomorrow or give me the strength to ignore them and speak anyway“.

Saturday morning, the alarm went off bright and early.    I didn’t feel itchy at all.  I shook Mike and he looked under my shirt and said “Babe, did you do a lot of praying last night?  ‘Cause all the hives on your back are gone”.

I squealed like a little school girl.  Got dressed, purtied myself up with some makeup and a hair do and went to that conference.  Praise God!

And, just so I would know it was Him at work…the hives came back late Saturday evening after I was home and the conference was over…and they still linger today.

God is good, my friends!  All the time!

You need to have been there…

I was hesitant to write this post because it is about a very polarizing issue.  My opinion (and I acknowledge that is all it is) differs greatly from most of my friends and my readers.  However, my personal experience (which is what I am going to share) is relevant to the issue.  What is the issue, you ask?

HEALTH CARE REFORM

There I said it.  The three little words that incite anger, misinformation, partisan politics and even hate mail.  I’m taking my chances because I feel strongly that reform is necessary.  Why do I feel strongly enough to expose myself to critical (and that is putting it nicely) comments on my blog, losing readers and tarnishing relationships?  Because of my experiences- all I ask is that you take the time to read my story.  Agree, disagree- but a true dialogue, a true debate, true change can’t take place when people aren’t willing to listen.

• In 1999 my husband and I got custody of (and I adopted) his son, who had just turned six (an expensive process in and of itself).  Jason came to us from a very abusive home and had (and still has) severe emotional and behavioral issues as a result. We knew that he would need extensive counseling (little did we truly know) and my husband did not have health insurance available through his employer.  Jason went to a counselor two times a week for three years before we got insurance (I went to work full-time in 2002 when our youngest went to kindergarten).  For those three years, I worked nights cleaning at the race track, worked at a daycare (so the kids could come with me) and watched other people’s kiddos to afford those appointments.
• In 2001 (while we were still uninsured) I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.  The biopsies leading up to the diagnosis and the surgery required put us in debt to the tune of $25,ooo.  My husband worked as much overtime as he could and we made payments to anesthesiologists, the hospital, the doctor, the lab and every other possible medical entity known to man for years.  As a matter of fact in 2007, we still had a $1,500 balance with surgeon and she sent me a letter that since I had so faithfully made payments she was forgiving the rest of our debt!  What a blessing-  We had been paying her monthly for almost seven years.  While friends were driving cars that didn’t break down and living in houses with more than one bathroom, every “extra” penny we made was going to medical bills.
• In 2003, Jason’s behavior deteriorated beyond what could be managed on an out-patient basis.  We now had health insurance through my employer but mental health benefits leave SO MUCH to be desired.  Between February 2003 and November 2004 Jason would be admitted as a psychiatric inpatient three times (twice in Towson, MD, an hour and a half away from our home) and would be in numerous partial hospitalization programs.  In 2004 our OOP (out of pocket) medical expenses for his care were in excess of $17,000 WITH INSURANCE.  Can you imagine what we would have been facing if my employer did not offer a health benefit (that I paid $124/every two weeks for as well)?
• Then (mind you this is the very abbreviated version) a judge ordered Jason to be remanded to a residential treatment facility to the tune of $60,000/year.  Do you know how much our insurance company authorized for that? ZERO, ZILCH, NADA. Know why?  Because Jason had exceeded his mental health benefit (he was 11).  His dad and I had to make the gut wrenching choice to sign physical custody of him to the state of West Virginia so that he could get the treatment he needed.  (That was the only way he could be covered by Medicaid, to not be in our custody)  You can never know what that was like if you have not experienced it.
• You would think our story would be over by then but no.  I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in January of 2008.  My hubby has great insurance through his employer now but our 20% of my EXORBITANT drug costs, hospitalizations, IV treatments, physical therapy and co-pays to the general practitioner, MS specialist, neuropsychiatrist (yes, all of this has left me a little depressed), urologist, hematologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist and pretty much every other “ologist” known to man came to over $13,000 in 2008 (and I can no longer work full time).

Don’t get me wrong, God has provided for us time and time again.  I am constantly amazed, looking at the $ amount going out compared to coming in, how we are not bankrupt.  We haven’t lost our home, our vehicles, or our sanity.  But we are fortunate.  So many people have.  People that didn’t deserve to have to choose between their medicine and groceries.  People that shouldn’t have to wonder if they should see a doctor or not, because they can’t afford it.

So, what are you saying, Melissa?  I am saying that reform is necessary, whether we like it or not.  Both Presidential candidates agreed on that in the last election. Yes, I have read the 1000+ pages of the proposed bill, and while I do not agree with every thing in it, I am glad that the President has the courage to introduce it.  Because it is necessary!

The bill (and the Baucus bill) are not in final form.  Yet still, there are some gross misrepresentations being made and fear mongering to distract people from the real issue.  REFORM IS NECESSARY.

Death panels? Not even going there.  Socialism?  Give me a break.

Accessibility-   please!  Affordability-  please!  Ability to have options-  please!  Eliminate pre-existing condition clauses-  pretty, pretty please!  Not have to worry about the cost of being sick for the rest of my life-  I can’t even imagine.

I urge you to educate yourself about reform, listen to those of us who truly know what it means to have medical expenses take over your life and stop the partisan rhetoric.  For me…for all those out there like me and those much worse off….just listen!

Fitness and Invisible Illness

So, if you don’t know that this is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness week then you have been hiding under a rock (or not reading my blog on a regular basis).  Each day this week (that I have posted) I have been talking about living with chronic illness.  Today, I wanted to talk about fitness and chronic illness- how they work together and how they don’t.

Most of my loyal readers know that I applied to be the first Mamavation mom.  I didn’t win the contest but I did gain the motivation I needed (or kick in the butt as it may be) that I needed to start on my personal weight loss journey.  I have lost 10 lbs. since I made that video in late July!  I am down two pants sizes and my endurance has really increased.

Where I am having trouble is this: stagnation.  For the last week and a half, I have not lost a pound, not even a half a darn pound.  I haven’t gained anything back but it gets depressing to see the number on the scale look stuck when you want it to not be stuck yet, you know what I’m sayin’?

Could this be blamed on the fact that I eat my weight in chocolate when I am on my period (which was last week and sorry for the TMI)?  Possibly.  Could it be that I have gained muscle from the GINORMOUS amount of exercise I have been performing compared to before I started this journey?  Possibly.  But there is a little gnawing voice in the back of my head saying “Is this all you’ve got”?

Anybody know how to make that stop?

Anyways, back to chronic illness.  I have to stay cool when I exercise, be careful not to push myself too far (with neurological weakness it can take a while to “feel the burn” so to speak) but other than that my doctor’s have not limited my physical activity in any way.  In fact they have encouraged me to engage in exercise, particularly Pilates and yoga type exercises which strengthen your core.

I am going to keep being healthy (except for my monthly chocolate gorge fest) and exercising.  Will you please join me in prayer that the darn number on the scale will keep up it’s end of the bargain and diminish each week?  Thanks!

Invisible Illness Linky Love

I am enjoying this week of awareness for chronic and invisible illnesses.  I am coming across so many awesome bloggers and fellow chronic illness livers (I hate the word sufferer, FYI) that I have added to my blogroll (and some of which I have invited to be on my MomTV show, hmm, mmm.)  So, I shared some of these fabulous peeps on The Invisibles today and some I have mentioned on Twitter.  But, I wanted a spot where all the info was in once place so here you go

Melanie Melanie blogs about her journey and participated in the 30 Things meme as well and I particularly connected with her answer to question #4.  The biggest adjustment is: “adjusting to a very different brain- I can’t think, learn or remember like I used to”. Couldn’t have said it better myself, Melanie.

Miss Diagnosis First of all, what a hilarious name for yourself.  Ingenious, as a matter of fact.  She blogs at Faith is Fragile which is also a beautiful title.  I related to her answer to #5 on the 30 Things meme.  Most people assume: “I’m lazy or just enjoy sleeping a lot”. I saw this a lot when hopping the 30 Things posts and it irritates me too.

Kristen blogs about living with Lyme disease, that was just recently diagnosed.  Her #22 struck a deep chord with me.  My illness has taught me that: “just because you don’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there.”  I hate how many people feel invalidated during the process of waiting to be diagnosed!

Selena She talked about something in a way I had never considered before, but found to be so true.  In addressing question #14, Selena opened my eyes to the reason behind a phenomenon I couldn’t explain before.  People would be surprised to know that: “socializing with family and friends is more difficult for me now”.  It is for me too and I didn’t understand why.  Selena goes into more depth about it so visit her blog for the answer.

Annabeth Again I really connected with something that this blogger said in her answer to #18. Something I miss: “the desire to be physically active”. I so get this!  I used to enjoy riding bikes on the canal with Mike and the boys, I used to look forward to a good workout.  I don’t anymore.  The desire is literally gone.

Each one of these ladies helped me feel less alone!  And that is the point of this week and of my show and part of why I get up in the morning.  We are not alone!  Praise the Lord for that!

In closing, this post made me cry.  So, grab some tissues.

Be blessed,

Melissa

You may not know..

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is:  multiple sclerosis
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: January 2008, on my 29th birthday as a matter of fact
3. But I had symptoms since: 2003
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:  not working full-time
5. Most people assume: that I feel better than I do
6. The hardest part about mornings are: waking up to see how I feel and if my day will be able to go as planned
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey’s Anatomy and I loved ER back in the George Clooney days
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my laptop, my connection to the outside world
9. The hardest part about nights are: having energy to spend time with my kids and hubby
10. Each day I take _6_ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) and I get an MS treatment injection (Rebif) three times a week
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried acupuncture (wasn’t for me), gone to a naturopath and am careful with my diet (most of the time=)
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I wouldn’t change my illness because God allowed it in my life for a reason.  I do wish my illness was more visible at times so I felt less judged.
13. Regarding working and career: It is hard (on my pride) to admit that I can’t do what I used to do.  There are days I miss corporate America but at the same time I am able to focus on my true passions now- writing and ministry.
14. People would be surprised to know: I am in pain most of the time.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: having to say no to things I would have previously not hesitated to do- riding bikes with my kids, volunteering at VBS, etc.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: travel alone.  Showed me I am more capable than I (and my loved ones) thought!
17. The commercials about my illness:  are deceptive.  I have an invisible illness so I could look like the women on the pamphlets too and still feel completely yucky!
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: being able to drive wherever I want (I can only drive 30 miles due to fatigue issues)
19. It was really hard to have to give up:  a glass of wine every now and then (alcohol interacts with some of my meds)
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging (and it has been a lifeline for me!)
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: clean my house from top to bottom, play with my kids and make love to my hubby all in the same day
22. My illness has taught me: that my value is not in what I accomplish and God has plans for my life I would have never known about had I not been slowed down by this illness.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:  “But, you look great”.  If you didn’t put the “but” in there, it would feel like more of a compliment.
24. But I love it when people:  ask how I am feeling before they ask me to do something or go somewhere.  It gives me the ability to say “I don’t feel up to it” without rejecting the person/activity.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: “And in the end, it is not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years”  and Phillipians 4:19.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: MS is not a death sentence but the quality of your life from this moment on is up to you and your attitude.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: I am stronger (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) than I ever knew.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: there is a sweet lady at church (I call her my spiritual mother) who has dropped off meals on my porch (knowing I didn’t feel up to company or cooking), driven me to infusions when I had optic neuritis, sends me thinking about you cards just because…she will never know how much all of that means to me (and yes, I have tried to tell her)
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to raise awareness so that people can look through a different lens at the person parking in the handicap spot even though they “look fine”, people will be less likely to get their feelings hurt if I sleep through an appointment or have to turn down an opportunity.  Cut people slack- you don’t know what they are going through!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:  appreciated, loved and not so invisible!

What Invisible Illness Looks Like…for me

This week is National Invisible Illness Awareness Week.  Today, I am joining hundreds of other bloggers in raising awareness of the millions of people living with chronic illness, 96% of which have “invisible” symptoms.

Rather than try to speak for anyone else, I will simply share what living with an invisible illness looks like for me.  And, I encourage you to visit the headquarters for this week to read about others’ experiences.

The invisible illness that I live with is multiple sclerosis.  I could try to explain it in technical terms but my favorite explanation comes from Montel Williams, another man living with this disease.  I borrow his explanation often when educating people that don’t know much about MS.

Montel compares the nerves in our body to electrical cords.  If you look at the picture of the electrical cords (courtesy of doertalk.com) you will see that the actual wires (nerves) are covered by a plastic coating, in this case yellow and orange plastic, that is protecting the wires.  That plastic coating is similar to the myelin sheath that surrounds everyone’s nerves.  Your myelin is a protective covering of the wiring of our nerves.

When someone has multiple sclerosis, their immune system attacks that myelin (the protective coating).  This causes the nerves (or electrical wires) to be exposed and damaged.  The symptoms you have depend on what nerves were damaged and the degree of damage they suffered.

For me, my spinal cord has some permanent nerve damage that causes my left side to be weaker than my right.  I don’t feel the bottom of my left foot.  Those symptoms are invisible to people that don’t know I have MS.

I have spasms throughout my body, where the nerves have shorted out (to continue with the electrical cord analogy).  I take medicine to be able to sleep through the restless legs, arms, and torso body syndrome that I deal with.  My bladder also spasms, which means that I am susceptible to urinary tract infections (which I get a lot of).  Thankfully, the bladder spasms are invisible unless you happen to see me wince in pain (because they really hurt).

I also deal with cognitive issues including short term memory problems, word finding difficulties, attention and concentration issues that rival those living with ADD and I have deep dark periods of depression.  Unless you hear me say “refrigerator” when I meant to say “tired”, these symptoms are relatively invisible.

The most frustrating symptom is fatigue.  Fatigue is the most frustrating symptom for me for several reasons.  One, it is the most limiting symptom I have.  Second, it is the least understood by others.  Fatigue to someone with invisible illness and fatigue to a well person (even one who is very tired) is really two different words.  Fatigue to me is I-can’t-keep-my-eyes-open-no-matter-how-much-I-want-to-even-if-I-am-driving-a-car and if-I-push-myself-and-do-too-much-I-will-find-myself-beyond-fatigue-and-into-the-realm-of-I-can-not-move-for-three-weeks-but-I-push-myself-anyway-because-I-don’t-like-being-sick.  This fatigue means that I fall asleep while talking with my best friend (just happened yesterday), that I need a five hour nap to recover from playing with my kids outside in the morning (that was this weekend) and I need to use the scooter thing at Wal-Mart to be able to have enough energy to finish grocery shopping (so, stop looking at me like I am committing a crime by using it).

Invisible illness, for me, means that I have specialists and doctors that most people don’t need until they are in their 80’s.  That the phlebotomist at the local lab knows me by first name and we talk about her kids and my kids while she tries to make my difficult veins to cooperate.  That some days I “look fine” and the next day I can’t get out of bed and I never know which day is going to be which, though I wish I did.  That people give me dirty looks and have even said rude things when I park in the handicap spot, which has caused me to not park there more times than I can count so that I won’t be judged.  That I keep my pain level to myself because I don’t want to be one of those “sick people” that only talks about their illness and complains all the time.

Most importantly, I am just me.  Melissa.  Wife to Mike.  Mama to Jason, Jared and Matt.  Friend to many.  Sister to four.  Writer, coffee guzzler, mini schnauzer lover, speaker, planner, reader, Grey’s Anatomy watcher, Jesus ambassador who happens to be living with an invisible illness. 

Just keepin’ it real

(photo courtesy of photobucket.com)

So, yesterday was not my day. I have put on a happy face for the last week, waiting for them to figure out what is wrong with my back and leg so that my happy face can be genuine again. But, lo and behold, I am human and ran out of fake “happy” before the genuine happy showed up.

I FINALLY had the MRI that I was supposed to have on Thursday (long story, suffice it to say insurance companies are a pain in the rear, yet a necessary evil). Only catch was that I had to go through the ER, arriving at 4:00 for a “stand-by” appointment that surfaced at 7:50pm. I was cool with the wait, had brought a good book and was just thankful I was getting the MRI. My doctor was pretty convinced that I had a herniated or slipped disc from a fall two weeks ago so that was what my little ears were prepared to hear.

So, the kind (he really was) ER doc and his little minion (I mean med student) came to give me the results. Good news: you don’t have a disc problem so you won’t need surgery. Bad news: your pain is called radiculopathy and is caused by nerve damage from your MS. He told me I needed to talk to my MS specialist about more aggressive pain management because this may be permanent.

Okay, ahem, ’scuse me- did you say permanent? I walk like Attila the Hun, act like the Wicked Witch of the East and you’re telling me this is the way it’s gonna be?

What came next is something that does not happen to me often- I cried and cried. I stomped my foot and told God exactly what I thought of this development. I yelled at my husband when he tried to comfort me. I snapped at my mom when she tried to look at the bright side by yelling “I am entitled to this breakdown. I will be back to the regular Melissa tomorrow”.

Nothing can bring you back to reality like a good laugh, though. So in the midst of my self centered pity party, my inquisitive son, Matt, wanted to know what radiculopathy was. I explained that it is irritation of a nerve that can be caused by many things including herniated discs but mine is caused by nerve damage.

And he said (very seriously) “Mama, I’m sorry you have another thing wrong with you. Especially this ridiculous radiculopathy”.

Okay, so maybe you needed to be there but the fact that ridiculous and radiculopathy sound so much alike made him smile (his cute little smile where his dimples show and his eyebrows go up) which made me smile, which made us both dissolve into a fit of the giggles. Those were some painful giggles but well worth it and I feel much better.

No ridiculous radiculopathy is going to keep this multi-tasking mama down in the dumps!

It’s just my disease

Yesterday was a comedy of errors. Most days are for me but my kiddos are home on school break and as Matt so succinctly and sarcastically put it “I’d forgotten how fun it is to hang out with you, Mom”. But, even when life gets a little crazy there are things to learn and lessons God is teaching us. I wanted to share those with you today.

We started out by going to get our teeth cleaned (regular six month appointment). Now, when I scheduled the appointment for 8:00 on a Monday morning I had forgotten it was on a break. So, the boys were not at all amused at having to get up and out of the house so early while all their Christmas gifts were beckoning for their attention.
This was my first cleaning since I am on blood thinners. Suffice it to say, in the interest of not grossing anyone out, that I felt like a vampire. My gums have started bleeding when I am brushing my teeth but the dentist just seemed to open the floodgates. ICK! And, in typical me fashion, I was laying there thinking “please don’t get any blood on my outfit I do not have time to go home and change”. Yes, I am a tad bit anal retentive LOL

Then we headed to the bank to put the boys Christmas money in their savings accounts. Then on to the pharmacy to pick up the very medicine that caused the red flood earlier in the morning.
Well, when we got back to the car I fumbled around in my purse for my keys- this is nothing new. They always fall to the bottom of the humongo (probably not a word) purses I like to carry. While I am hunting in the bottom of my purse, Matt says “mom- your keys are on the front seat”. “Noooooo”, I cried out. This happens to me often enough that I shouldn’t have been surprised (they refer to this as brain fog in the MS world) but I was. Matt lovingly (I wish you could feel the sarcasm dripping off that word as I type it) reminded me that the movie I had promised to take them to started it 40 minutes, as if I had forgotten. I placed several phone calls to people who weren’t home or weren’t anywhere near where I was.

While I was freaking out in my flesh, Jared was praying. I didn’t know this. As I mentioned I was freaking out. “Mom, I’ll be right back”, he said. I didn’t even look up from scrolling through the numbers on my cell phone as he crossed the street.

He came back in short order and said “everything’s ok”. God sent that policeman over there- he pointed across the parking lot- and he doesn’t have the tool in his car but he is radioing for another guy to come help us.

And don’t feel bad, Mom. It’s just your disease”.

Three minutes later here came the policeman that I wanted to hug who popped open my car with no problem and allowed us to make it to the movie- we didn’t even miss the previews.

“Don’t feel bad, mom. It’s just your disease”.

Jared was referring to MS but yesterday didn’t have as much to do with that as the disease of busyness and I can do it myselfitis that plagues so many of us. I am ashamed to say that my twelve year old thought to pray when I didn’t. And, God came through. As usual!

I pray that God will continue to work in my life to heal me from my diseases- the busyness of life that drives us to distraction, to being distracted from Him and the fierce independent streak that separates me from leaning on His everlasting arms when I should.

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