Holy Housewives- Book One Wrap-up

I apologize for the lack of posting the last few weeks {my site was hacked} but I am up and running again {except that you may still see a warning in Firefox, does not happen in IE} so I will try to sum up my final thoughts on the book today and briefly touch on the chapters I wasn’t able to post about {how was that for a run-on sentence?}

We have been reading Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God for the past few weeks.  Here are my thoughts on the last chapters and then a summary at the end =) 

Chapter 5 talks about freedom from perfectionism. 

• For those of you that follow my organizing blog or listen to my podcast, you know that I am all about letting go of the pressure of perfectionism.  My sweet friend at Pleasing to You and I think quite similarly about this subject and she has started a new focus on Mondays called Lopsided Living {be sure to check it out!}  The author talks about a moment where had she insisted on living up to self imposed perfectionistic expectations, she would have ultimately taken a blessing away from someone else (page 80).  This is so important to remember!  If we do something just because we can we may be preventing the person that God had in mind for the task from fulfilling their calling.

Chapter Six

• I agree with the authors that the consumerism of our society and the culture of materialism we live in contributes to the demise of families.  I also believe that it contributes to our need to strive to be something we weren’t created to be.  The amount of debt that the average household carries saddles the family with undue stress and obligation.  Only when we stop being of the world and just live in it, will this cycle stop.  And that is only going to happen one family at a time.
• This quote from page 87 struck me as well: Would we still praise God if we had to keep dirt floors clean, children healthy, and gardens growing in a strange new environment far from family and friends?  The author was referring to women from previous centuries but it made me think of the women who are selflessly following their husbands into the mission field abroad.  Serving God when it is not convenient and comfortable.  Those are true heroes to me!
• This was also a thought provoking statement “Homes that are emptied of their meaning and purpose make up the culture in which we live.  When homes do not have creative, happy, intelligent mothers keeping them, their occupants go elsewhere to learn how to behave, to learn what music to love, to learn what art to imitate…Being keepers at home is about focusing upon the Lord in all the everydayness so that our houses become centers of hospitality, forgiveness, training, business, welfare, charity, shared mourning and celebration, and-oh, yes- lots of tracked in mud, crumbs under the chairs and everything else that goes with human beings“  The reason this statement struck me is that the teens I work with are missing this element in their lives. One young girl mentioned that my husband and I were only the second couple she had met in her life that had been married for more than 10 years.  Another had never experienced a sit down family style dinner until she dined with her mentor and family.  Being a stay at home mom is a witness to these girls and I never looked at it that way before.

Skipping to Chapter ten:

• Maybe it is because I have health issues that require me to take care of myself {so that I can take care of my family} but my fur goes up when the authors start saying that a mom putting herself on her own to do list is selfish.  Do I think that taking care of yourself can be taken too far…become an idol in your life? Absolutely.  But, the Bible also tells us that we are to love others as we love ourselves.  To me, loving myself is not burning the candle on both ends in the name of service.  Believe me, I have tried it…not pretty at all!

Final thoughts:

This book definitely made me think and challenged some beliefs that I have held for a long time.  While I do NOT agree with everything it says, I do agree with the premise that societal norms and biblical truth do not always match when it comes to being a Godly wife and mother.

Did you read the book?  Please share your thoughts in the comments!

So, what happened to homeschooling?

This summer has been a roller coaster ride of indecisiveness.  Confusion.  Soul-searching.  Heart break.  On my face before my Creator asking “why” and then remembering it is often not my place to ask.

 {Situations that I can’t share here that shook my faith and made my soul ache but at the same time brought my family closer together and provided us an even firmer foundation upon which to serve our Jesus}

Don’t get me wrong…there were good times, too!

 But, I have carried around a heaviness that I was finding hard to shake.   And, in the midst of that, we {my husband and I} were praying about whether or not to home school our boys this year.

We pray every year about what their educational journey will look like.  Usually, the answer is clear.  This year, it was muddled.

Just for general information, we Type A mama’s don’t handle “muddled” well.

My husband does well with cutting through the mud in muddled.  My motherly emotions tend to get in the way and the emotion that was muddying my waters was fear.

In God’s Word, He does not hesitate to tell us not to fear.  Yet, I don’t hesitate to let fear invade my thoughts and my heart, particularly when it comes to the balancing act of motherhood.

So do not fear, for I am with you {and your children}; do not be dismayed, for I am your God {and your children’s God and Father too}.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you in my righteous right hand {and there your children rest too}.  Isaiah 41:10

The italicized portion is obviously mine but it is how God spoke to me.  That no matter the decision of where to be schooled and how to be educated, God holds my children close to His heart and I have nothing to fear.

Raising teenagers these days is scary and downright overwhelming {especially when you work with teen moms and see some grim realities of our fallen world}.  As my boys head off to public school {the final decision the hubby and I came down to} again this year, my heart is at peace.

As for their spiritual education, that will continue at home.  And this mama is kicking that focus up a notch this year. You can NEVER be to close to the One who beckons you not to fear.

Protecting America’s Kids

While at the annual BlogHer conference in NYC, I had the distinct privilege of having dinner with the folks from Tavern Direct and The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. 

More on Tavern Direct in a second but first I want to share with you some more downright scary and eye opening statistics about our children and their safety:

• 2,000 children are reported missing everyday. {yes, you read that right! 2,000 children A DAY}
• 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys will be sexually victimized before adulthood. {I am a statistic in this area and the effects of sexual abuse lead to many more dangerous and hurtful issues throughout a person’s life}
• As many as 100,000 registered sex offenders are “lost” in the system, their whereabouts unknown.
• 1 in 7 children using the Internet receive sexual solicitations in a single year. {do you monitor what your child does online?}
• 58,000 children are victims of non-family abductions each year.

I could go on.  But, I can’t. These statistics make my heart hurt.  And, as a mama of three, they scare me.  People don’t want to talk about these facts because they are uncomfortable and we don’t like to be reminded that bad things happen EVERY DAY.   This is unacceptable.  Parents need to WAKE up and become educated about the very real dangers out there facing our children.  Pretending these issues don’t exist will not make them go away.

  I am so thankful for agencies like The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and companies like Tavern Direct that are willing to tackle these serious issues in order to keep our children safe!

So, what is Tavern Direct?  Tavern Direct is a company offering the taste of the infamous Tavern on the Green in sauces, marinades, {absolutely heavenly} balsamic vinegars and flavored oils.  When you make a purchase from Tavern Direct, they donate 50 cents per bottle to the NCMEC.  A win-win situation for sure! 

The statistics are staggering, the threat to our children is real but we are not powerless.  There are steps we can take to protect our children and simple things, like supporting Tavern Direct, that protects children across America.

Until September 5, 2010 you can enter the promotion code “BLOGGERS” at checkout on the Tavern Direct site and receive 20% off your next purchase at Tavern Direct.com.

Thank you to Tavern Direct and NCMEC for providing an absolutely delicious dinner {where I got to sample the scrumptious balsamic vinegars in their product line} and more importantly, for providing me the opportunity to work on such an important cause! Statistics in this post are courtesy of NCMEC.

What do you do to keep your kids safe?

And, as always if you have a post about parenting teens/tweens please link it up below!

Back to school fashion

Summer is a time for epic growth spurts {apparently}.

Jared has grown an inch and a half and put on a few pounds {of all muscle, he wants you to know}.

Matt has grown 3/4 inch and hasn’t put on a single pound despite eating us all under the table EVERY day!

I look up to Jason, literally.  He is up to Mike’s chin, meaning he has to be a good 5′ 8″ {at least}.

Y’all know what this means, right?

Shopping. 

With boys.

Shopping with boys who all wear different sizes, styles and only one of whom enjoys the actual task of shopping.

Umm, hmm…fun times are ahead this weekend.  Fun times, indeed.

Pray for me, will ya?

If you would like to go shopping, you can do so right here at my MultiTasking Mama shop {I’ve done all the work of finding the perfect products for you}

Push, pull

Parenting adolescent boys is akin to playing tug of war.  They want you to park as far away as possible when picking them up from basketball practice but need you to listen (and *gasp* maybe even hug them) when their team loses the tournament.  One minute you are “the meanest mom ever” and the next (when you drive them somewhere they want to go or buy them ice cream) “you’re the best”….

You can read the rest of my post at The MOB Society today.

Miss(ter) Independent

There is a thirst for independence in teenagers. 

An unseen force, pulling them away from dependence on their parents and toward a future they don’t see or understand. 

Yet, they respond heartily to the call and pull of that force, while we parents want to fight it with every fiber of our soul.

In a few short days, my husband and I will drop Jared and Matt (14 and 12) in Florida to stay two weeks with my dad and my brothers.  They are going to have a great time!  Adventures with Grandpa Bill, beach with Uncle Ian, amusement park with Uncle Tom..they are going to have fun and create special memories.

And, they are pumped.  Their mama is deflated.

They have never been away from me for this long.  They will fly home alone in two weeks. My feelings are hurt that they are so excited to get away from us {yes, I know that is not completely rational- thankyouverymuch!}

But, when I look at this from a learning standpoint- this is a wonderful opportunity for my boys.  They will be able to exert some independence in a safe environment.  They will create memories with men in their family that mean a lot to them and that they look up to. 

And, I will learn from this too.  I will learn that they will be fine without me there to remind them to brush their teeth, spend time in the Word, say their “please” and “thank-you’s” and more.  I will learn that I will be okay without them under my roof {for a short, predetermined amount of time}.

Boy, this independence stuff is hard! 

If you have a post related to parenting teens/tweens please link it up below:

The Energizer Mama

Have you ever wondered how in the world we, as moms, get “it” all done? 

Seriously? 

We are the meal planners, bottle washers, outfit coordinators, Mt. Saint Laundry climbers, boo boo kissers and teachers. 

Add that to the taxi driver, vacuum operator, hygiene enforcer, social calendar keeper and dust bunny catcher section of the resume.

We are the sibling police, home decorators, brownie bakers (at the last minute because our child forgot to tell us they signed us up for 3 batches), home maintenance supervisors and more.

On top of all that, we need to be lovers extraordinaire, the bed time story reader, healer of broken hearts and bruised friendship fixer.

Don’t forget the need to be the hostess with the mostess, the loser of baby weight, toilet bowl scrubber and toy cleaner upper.

Somehow, we also expect ourselves to be the spiritual thermometer, the memory keeper, the vacation planner and the beauty sleeper. 

How do we do this everyday?  What charges a mama’s batteries?

•  One slobbery kiss from a sweet baby
• A picture, colored inside the lines, just for mommy
• A “please” or “thank you” spoken in public without prompting
• Your lap being the treasured sitting place of a special little one
• Watching chubby legs take their first steps
• The moment your child can read the story to you but still wants Mommy to read it
• Walking out the door with a child wearing stripes and polka dots with their snow boots in the middle of July
• Observing big brother *finally* share a toy with little sister
• Everyone at the dinner table eating the same thing and liking it
• 20 minutes to take a quiet shower because all the kids fell asleep at nap time
• Sleeping breath on your neck as you carry in the child that fell asleep in the car
• Little arms wrapped around your leg, feeling safest when protected by you
• The occasional hug or half grin from a grumpy teenager

All the little things energize me to not only stay the course while my children are young, but to enjoy each moment.  They grow so fast! 

I am energized by watching them grow and develop.  I am energized by catching glimpses of the men they will become. And, I am energized by the memories of the babies they once were.

We do “it” all because we love them.  And, we love them because they own pieces of our hearts. 

 To all the Energizer mama’s out there- charge on!

This post was written as part of the Energizer BlogHer ’10 contest, sponsored by Energizer and @kailani.  I have had the pleasure of working with Energizer for conducting product reviews and giveaways in the past and would be honored to represent their brand at BlogHer.

Holy Housewives Chapter 4

Are you enjoying the perspectives on this book?  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!  And, if you like what you read here, please subscribe to receive new posts in your inbox or reader!

Chapter four of Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God is entitled Weary Women.  Lord knows, I have felt weary many times as a wife, mother and Christian woman.  Here are my thoughts on this chapter: 

• The authors first tackle the subject of quiet time.  While I agree with this statement “..to beat ourselves up over our failure to create a worship time that resembles someone else’s isn’t necessary and can sometimes be detrimental”, most of what they said on this topic I disagreed with.  While I do not think it is necessary to be legalistic about “quiet time” (whatever that looks like for you is between you and God).  I was concerned that the authors dismissed the importance of spending time with God EVERY day.  I do remember and can certainly sympathize with mama’s of little ones (the times of 5, 2 and 1 year old boys are still alive and well in my mind, trust me!).  The enemy would love for us to feel so overwhelmed by our day to day routine that we would think it is okay to neglect the most important relationship in our lives- our relationship with Jesus Christ.  Spending time in His Word and humbling ourselves before Him in prayer is a necessity to getting through those times of parenting that leave us exhausted and irritable.  How can your focus be on Him if you aren’t spending time with Him?  One of my favorite verses about this is Psalm 5:3.  Please don’t misunderstand and think that I am saying quiet time can only take place in the morning- I am just pointing to the importance of making time with God a priority in our lives! (Visit one of my new favorite sites, Scripture Dig, for more ideas and resources on this topic)
• I liked the suggestion on page 52 to “copy chapters of Scripture” to have when you have time to sit and read (even if it is in the bathroom, ha!)  I have done this for several years.  I bought a photo album that could fit in my purse at the dollar store and wrote favorite Bible verses on index cards.  I have read those verses in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store, doctor’s appointments and have even had my children read them aloud when arguing or bickering erupted in the back seat of the car.  I think this is a practical way to keep God’s Word close and on our minds frequently throughout our busy days.

Focus on the Father and He will help you get through those days of diapers and sippy cups, just like He now helps me get through the days of cell phones and curfews.

Be sure to check in with Betty to see her thoughts on this book as well.

Do you struggle to find time with God each day?

The B-I-B-L-E

I remember my first Bible.  It was a purple Precious Moments Bible with my name on it that someone {maybe a relative?} gave me when I was around eight.  I treasured that Bible but can’t say that I read it much or understood what I did read.

Thankfully, my kids have grown up in an era when the Bible is translated into words they can understand.  Couple that with the creative folks at Tyndale Publishing and you have the Hands-On Bible- an interactive Bible that my youngest son, Matt, has been enjoying since it arrived in the mail earlier this week.

Here are some things I am impressed with:

• The graphics are “cool” and engaging.  They draw my son in to want to read more and learn more about the stories they depict.
• There is a feature called “Bible Hero Biographies” that really pique a boy’s interest by making the people in the Bible stories relatable and interesting.  Every boy loves a good hero!
• There are “hands on Bible experiences” throughout the Bible that my son has been enjoying.  He has already completed several in just the few days he has had this Bible. (I will share my favorite at the end of this post).  Science experiments, crafts, snack ideas, journaling…true hands-on learning is encouraged in this Bible.

I also like the NLT (New Living Translation) for kids this age.  Matt understands what he reads in a way other translations have not provided him, which is great!  I also appreciate the effort the publishers put into the bonus interactive website, My Hands on Bible, that provides parents with additional resources and ideas (devotions, music and more) for making the Bible interesting and relevant to our kids.

Before I tell you about the contest going on over at the Hands on Bible site (think pizza, Bibles and family fun), I wanted to share one of the activities Matt recently completed from his Hands on Bible.

In the Hands on Bible, it was being explained that Psalm 119 is written as an acrostic poem, except in the Hebrew alphabet.  Then the activity was for kids to make an acrostic poem of their own, using their first name and words that describe God. Here is Matthew’s (spelling errors included =)

M- Maker

A- All-Knowing

T- Tollerent

T- True

H- Holy

E- Extrordinary

W- Willing

Isn’t that awesome?  The Word coming alive to our kids? Nothing better!

So, head on over to their website and check out this awesome Bible and an opportunity to win big!  I will be heading over to purchase one for my six year old nephew!

I was provided a complimentary copy of the Hands On Bible for review.  All opinions are mine (and my child’s) and were not influenced by anyone else.  Thank you to the MOB Society for facilitating this review!

God and teens

My kids enjoy church {right now}.  They are active in their youth group and enjoy serving alongside their youth pastor in different ministry opportunities.  They {sometimes} enjoy serving alongside their dad and I.  So, why am I worried about their relationship with God?

• Statistics show that more than 50% of kids their age {13-17} attend church on a regular basis.  BUT, that number drops to less than 35% between 18-29.
• There are so many competing interests for my kids time and energy.  I want God to remain the PRIMARY voice that they hear and discern as they go through life.
• Departure from church often times means that the kids are “taking a break” from their faith all together.  I have been there and done that- YIKES!

What can I do to encourage my kids {particularly my seventeen year old} to keep faith a priority as societal temptations, distractions and ambition compete for their attention?

1. Trust God.  When the prodigal son left, the father did not chase him down and beg him not to go. He trusted and hoped that he would return.  As our kids grow up, we have to relinquish {more and more} control and increase our faith and trust that God has got their outcome in His hands.
2. Lead by example.  Our kids need to see consistency from their parents and the adults they respect in their lives.  Even if my kids one day make the choice not to go to church, it will remain an expectation when they are living in our house {and a strong encouragement when they are visiting}. 
3. Tell my story.  So often, we are nervous to tell our kids that we messed up in our past.  As my kids get older, I see that God can use the mistakes of my past as a real life illustration to show the dangers of wandering away from God {and His awesome, redemptive power}.
4. Love, love and more love.  No matter the choices my children make I must love them anyway.  This reality has been tested in my life already with our oldest son and I can tell you that love is a universal language.  It gets through when nothing else can.  {and that includes the language of tough love when necessary}.

Do you worry about your child’s faith as they grow and leave home? 

As always, please link up your teen/tween related posts below:

 

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