Sometimes I am tempted to throw in the proverbial towel with this whole writing/teaching thing, especially when I start listening to the lies of the devil.  And then God will show up in a sweet and powerful way {or two or three} and remind me that I am doing what He has asked and that my only calling is to obedience.

This week, He affirmed that in my Bible reading.  For those of you that don’t know, I chose to do the chronological Bible reading plan this year in my personal quiet time.  I was reading in Exodus when God is calling Moses to go deliver His people from Egypt.  Just read this little exchange between Moses and the Lord:

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words.  I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me.  I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled”.  Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth?  Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go!  I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say”.  ~Exodus 4:10-12 NLT

Yes, that little bit of Scripture just stepped all over my toes.

So, with a mixture of excitement and trepidation I am announcing a new format of study on my blog.  Beginning February 15th, I am going to lead a study here called Plugged In:  Accessing God’s Power Through Prayer.  It will continue for 8 Wednesdays, leading up to Easter.  The format will be short vlog segments for you to watch when you have a few minutes of quiet.  Then a free printable worksheet will be provided for more in-depth study of the topic presented if you desire.  God has blessed me with a talented audio/visual friend who is making this all come together.  I am honored to share it with you!  Here is a little intro video for your viewing pleasure (ha!):

Please join me for session one of Plugged In: Accessing God’s Power Through Prayer on Wednesday, February 15th.

In more exciting news, one of my favorite websites, The M.O.B Society, has gotten a face-lift. The M.O.B Society is a site for mothers of boys, by mothers of boys and I am honored to be a contributing writer there. Raising future men of God is such an incredible honor and responsibility. It is comforting and encouraging to have a place to go where other moms are going through and dealing with the same challenges, joys and struggles. A few months ago, the M.O.B writers contributed to an eBook, called From Mom’s Failure to God’s Grace: Stories of Raising Boys from the M.O.B Society Writers. Tomorrow, the book will be available for on Amazon for $2.99! All proceeds go to the Seed Company to provide the Word of God to people across the world. I am so tickled to be a part of this. Be sure to stop by The M.O.B Society today!

And, lastly, for those of my local friends, we are resuming Wednesday morning Bible study (we had taken a hiatus for the holidays that lasted a bit longer than I planned). This coming Wednesday at 9:30 we will begin a 6 week study of Isaiah 58 that I have entitled, The Well-Watered Life. I can’t wait to share the insights God has given me from this chapter (my life chapter!). Wednesday mornings, First Baptist Church, Martinsburg, WV.

I think that is all except for the counting of more blessings (excerpted from my Joy Dare journal)
~ a book that challenged me
~ friends that inspire me
~ new shoes for Sweet Pea
~ just enough powdery snow to make the trees pretty
~ a husband who is the calm to my storm
~ a special girl asking for prayer (an answer to prayer in and of itself)
~ six new girls at Young Lives club
~ a true Sabbath rest
~ knowing God fights for me (Exodus 14:14)
~ a much needed nap

What are you thankful for?

Oft lately, my mind and heart ponder a different type of clutter.

The clutter of busyness.  The clutter of doing.  The clutter that accumulates when you are not weeding out the good to make room for God’s best.

Isn’t it funny how we can be the worst at taking the advice we so freely give?

When life is hectic and the soul is parched, Living Water is the only thirst quencher.

Today I am thankful for the clarity and comfort that comes from spending time in the Word and with the Author.

and the counting of gifts continues… {excerpts from my Joy Dare/gratitude journal}

~ an impromptu dinner with just my youngest

~  transitioning Sweet Pea to the sippy cup

~  dark denim boot cut jeans {that fit}

~  first words in a new prayer journal

~  fresh cut flowers at a swanky event

~  generous organizations that host swanky events to benefit YoungLives

~  frost on the van, windows, it is January after all
~  a husband that supports your choices

~  two out of two wins at middle son’s wrestling tournament

~ the promise of Isaiah 58:11

What are you thankful for?

I have had a wonderful day full of love, laughs and family.  

Feeling retrospective I decided to chronicle thirty three things I have learned about life {not in any particular order}

1. Polka dots and hot pink make me smile.
2. There are few sounds that bring as much joy as a baby belly laughing.
3. Marriage is hard work, but oh so worth it.
4. There is a huge difference between a job, a career and a calling.
5. When people say “enjoy these moments because they grow up so fast” they are not exaggerating one bit.  Kids literally grow up in the blink of an eye.
6. Having a near death experience will remove most fear from your life and replace it with a sense of urgency to live EVERY minute fully.
7. Chocolate makes everything most things better.
8. God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good.
9. Having kids old enough to drive is scary yet very convenient.
10. God’s plan frequently looks nothing like my plan, but is always the best plan.
11. No matter how many children you have there is always enough love to go around.
12. Speaking of parenthood, it is the most challenging, rewarding, frustrating, meaningful, exhausting miracle in the world.
13. You are not defined by your past.
14. Life is not fair, but God is.
15. Friendships, like gardens, need tended, watered and weeded regularly.
16. Nail polish is a cheap and easy way to feel pretty.
17. You can make any house a home if the people you love are there with you.
18. God’s heart is for restoration and when it is possible, love and time can heal wounds.
19. Friends are your family of choice.
20. Writing is a salve to the soul.
21. A good yellow makes a perfect wall color.
22. Being organized makes life easier.
23. I wouldn’t remember anyone’s birthday if it wasn’t for Facebook.
24. Teen moms are special people and working with them is a privilege.
25. Parenting teenagers is like having your fingernails plucked off with tweezers.
26. You can’t save the world and God doesn’t expect you to.
27. It’s okay to take antidepressants.
28. Pets are members of the family too.
29. Being connected with a body of believers is crucial to spiritual health.
30. Why not me?
31. Every day, there are blessings and miracles happening around you.  All you have to do is open the eyes of your heart and be thankful.
32. Words hurt.  Guard your tongue.
33. Just as Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Thank you, Lord for thirty three years on this planet.  Let everything I do bring glory to You.

What are some of the best lessons you have learned?

I am in love with this gadget, particularly the Pinterest app and Instagram.

Imagine my delight in finding a bloggy link-up for sharing your photos from the week {cause I take a ridiculous amount of photos with my phone}.

Here is my week in photos:

all my kids sitting in one spot without bickering, a photo worthy moment indeed 12/31/11

Sweet Pea plunking on the piano to keep the residents of the nursing home entertained! 1/2/12

Jared, my uber cool 15 year old who will still take photos with mama 12/31/11

Mike and I saying goodbye to our soldier, Jason, for 3 more months of training. 1/3/12

crazy game night {Partini, anyone?} on New Year’s Eve at casa del Smallwood 12/31/11

Spent much of the week like this since Sweet Pea is sick 1/5/12

YoungLives Team 3 represent!  One of us {not me} ate a booger, we collectively chewed the biggest wad of gum, I learned how to Dougie and we still lost the stinkin’ scavenger hunt by 6 points   #i’mstillbitter!

What a fun way to look back on the week!

And, as a follow up to this post I wanted to let you know how I am doing with the Chronological One Year Bible plan.

Ahem, in one word: not-so-good.

I could make excuses {see picture of sick baby above} but I won’t.  I will say that I am two days behind and it is only January 6th.  yikes!  But, I am determined and enjoying this reading plan.  I am taking copious notes because the reading sections are bite sized enough for in depth study.  I love that!  I will update you next week as well {if for no other reason than to hold myself accountable}.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend!!

Fast forward four and a half years and I somehow figure I should get out my measuring stick (so to speak)…see how far I’ve come towards that plan.

Of course, I do not measure up to my own expectations.

And then I start saying things like this “I should be farther along with {x, y, z}.  If I’m ever going to fulfill this burden on my heart I should at least be at point {j, k, l} by now” and “I knew I was unworthy of this call, God got this one wrong” and “I should be doing more to make this happen” and “what did I do wrong?”

I find myself re-reading Psalm 23.  And I learned something I did not know.  The valley of the shadow of death referred to in verse 4 translates from the Hebrew into the valley of swirling shadows.

Hmmm, swirling shadows.  Could this be shadows such as:

Image via Wikipedia

a period or instance of gloom, unhappiness, mistrust, doubt, dissension, or the like, as in friendship or one’s life?

OR

a dominant or pervasive threat, influence, or atmosphere, esp. one causing gloom, fear, doubt, or the like? (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)

Could it be that the enemy wants me to be surrounded by the swirling shadows of mistrust and doubt?

Could it be that God is leading me through the last three and a half years, not in abandonment of the vision He provided, but in preparation for it?

Is it not in the valleys of life that we stand to learn the most?

So, today I am thankful for the promise of Romans 8 (if you have time read the WHOLE chapter) especially, verses 15, 18-21, 28-31, 37-39.

Exactly what I needed to hear this morning:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [or daughter-ship, in my case] and by Him we cry Abba, Father.  Romans 8:15

Oh, yes!  That is all I need to do- cry out to Him who is with me all the time. The One who is faithful to complete the good work in and through me for His glory (and in His timing).  God’s measuring stick does not compute accomplishment or human “doings”.  He cares far more that I am leaning on Him throughout the journey.

So, leaning on Him I am.

{edited and reposted from the archives as I spend time with my family}

I want to reflect on Advent every night with our boys.  I need to communicate His story through the way I live my life.

Image via Wikipedia

I want to make it to the practices and sing at our Christmas Eve service at church.  I need to praise Him in the everyday moments, not just the special occasions.

I want to put all the laundry {that is literally crawling to the ceiling in my bedroom} away.  I need to rest.

I want to make all the hurt in the world go away.  I need to recognize my limits.

I want to write eloquent and touching blog posts.  I need to write the articles I have committed to before the deadlines.

I want to enjoy the holiday season.  I need to enjoy every season.

I want to mail my Christmas cards {and cheesy Christmas letter} before New Year’s.  I need to pick up the phone and call my loved ones.

I want to sleep without pain.  I need to slow down so my body can too.

I want to want less.  I need to want More.

{this post is linked to Life Unmasked at Joy’s blog}

The only way I was able to get through this week of 24-7 ministry was the strength of God.

{and I will take a day off this week if it kills me}

Yesterday, I was sharing about YoungLives with a special teen mama at a local church {they have four services and we shared at all of them}.  I was so tired when I got up to get ready and I told God {when I was in the shower} if I was going to make it through with a smile on my face the energy and strength would only come from Him.

He showed up, as He always does.  I didn’t fall asleep on the front row.  I didn’t stutter in front of hundreds of people AND we had more Christian women sign up to mentor our teen mama’s then we ever before.  God honored my obedience with a huge blessing.

The added bonus was the pastor’s sermon.  He taught from John 2.  While I have been familiar with the water-into-wine miracle, he drew our attention to a part of the passage I had never noticed before.

The master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.  He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. ~John 2:9

I learned that the servants that filled the six stone water jars {which weighed at least 160 lbs as they lugged them back to the party from the well} were the ones that got to see Jesus’ first miracle.

How cool is that?  I needed reminded that to see God at work, you need to be in the trenches of serving Him.  That when we serve others we are the most like Jesus.

I am so honored to serve Him and to see {everyday} the miracles He works in the lives of those I serve.  Whether it is teen moms, a friend in need, serving at home as I care for my family, the miracles are there to witness.

You have to serve to see.

And the counting of gifts continues {#401-410}

~  gingerbread latte on a busy day

~  a girl willing to share her story for God’s glory {who blessed my heart in the process}

~  shopping for my birthday girl’s present

~  cold breeze while wearing a warm scarf and vest

~  surviving watching my son’s first wrestling match {I was NOT made to be a wrestling mama}

~  a hubby who steam cleans the carpet while I am away working on the weekend

~  taking a much needed Sunday afternoon nap with Sweet Pea

~  bavarian creme puffs {Holy Moses, those things were good}

~  date night with the hubby

~  the lights twinkling on our Christmas tree

What are you thankful for?

She had felt searing pain and known heartache so deep that recovery seemed impossible.

The desire to shelter others from feeling that way turned into a slight obsession “calling”.

She was doing good things in the name of her faith and her heart cried compassion.

Image by highersights via Flickr

She became a fixer.

She did and did and did and helped and helped and helped.

She also hurt {her family, her finances, her health} and fell short all.the.time.

God whispered to her heart and she slowly unfurled the fingers of control and said yes to loving and giving from His heart rather than hers.

And, ministry, serving, loving looked different.

She knew she was changing but did not realize how much until she was able to tell a person in need that she could not help them.  She could not fix the situation they had created.

That may seem mean.  It may seem harsh.  It may seem heartless.

But, she as she conversed with this person and prayed about how to respond, God whispered, “I need her to go through this valley to find her way to Me, stay out of the way“.

This time the girl listened.

And,  she felt free.

Do not commit the error, common among the young, of assuming that if you cannot save the whole of mankind you have failed.  ~Jan de Hartog, The Lamb’s War

It is Monday and therefore the counting of gifts continues {#391-400}

What are you thankful for?

Hope seems lost in the flames of house fires, hard to find for the friends that lost their job and face homelessness at the time of year when home means the most, hidden from friends who discover the sex of the heart beating in the womb and discover his health is in question at the same moment.

Children who may die before finding their forever family.

Where are You, God?

I have asked this question at many different times in my life.

Thankfully, the whisper of doubt does not turn Him away.

He is there.

You hem me in–behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me….If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. ~Psalm 139: 5, 9-10

He is there.  Holding me, holding you.  We are never alone.

And, for that promise I am eternally grateful.

The counting of gifts continues {#371-#380}

~  the promises of His Word that provide comfort and strength

~ shopping with my children to fill a shoe box for a child across the world

~  seeing many shoe boxes ready for pick-up for O.C.C

~  many new teen moms being introduced to hope through YoungLives

~  God appointments that encourage and provide confirmation

~  Skyping with my Shayla

~  boys taking Sweet Pea for a walk around the neighborhood

~  my husband’s ability to fix ANYTHING!

~  time catching up with friends

~  comfy boots

What are you thankful for?

If you are facing a time where you wonder if God is there, please leave me a comment so I can pray for you or slip me an email at kmelissasmallwood@gmail.com.

And I am daily counting gifts this month at the Multitasking Mama Facebook page.

Yet, when I sit here all I can think about are the 143 million+ orphans around the world that need forever families.  The over 1/2 million kids in the US foster care system that need their families loved on and repaired.  The over 100,000 that can’t go back home and need new families to step up and love them, despite their tough exteriors.  The teen mom’s that I serve on a daily basis that need mentors to help them become the best mothers they can be.  The medically fragile children that lay dying in orphanages. The children that go to bed hungry in our country and abroad.  The 30,000 kids that die every day of preventable, treatable illnesses.

My heart bleeds.  My eyes leak.

The Bible makes it very clear that these children are precious to the heart of God.

Adoption is at the very core of God’s plan for redemption and salvation.

So, today, instead of writing anything else I want to encourage you to visit some sites where you can learn and help and I pray that your heart is pricked for what hurts His.

No Greater Joy Mom
Adeye is sharing powerful testimonies on her blog this month, in honor of National Adoption Month. Grab your tissues!

Compassion Bloggers in Ecuador

Some of my all time favorite bloggers are serving Jesus in Ecuador this week and sharing the stories with us.

Ekubo Ministries

One of my favorite ministries in Uganda, loving and serving the people there.

Mercy House, Kenya

A ministry to unwed mothers in Kenya, truly a miracle working place.

Young Lives of Eastern Panhandle

Where I live out a calling to love on teen moms and their kids