Yes Mom

Geometry- check

English 9 honors- check

Spanish II- check

Mama ready to burst into tears at scheduling her son’s classes for HIGH SCHOOL next year- check

Every fiber of my being wants to shout NO to all this growing up stuff.  No to girls that are way too forward, no to Facebook, no to later bedtimes, no to…well, I just find myself wanting to say no to anything that resembles my boys growing up.

I was challenged to say yes to my kids this week. Just one day into the challenge and I realize that, for me, saying yes doesn’t have to do with one more bedtime story, making mud pies or candy at the check out line anymore.

Saying yes to my boys at this stage means relinquishing the need to control everything, letting them make some mistakes in the name of independence, and

MOST IMPORTANTLY

deciding to not fight the inevitable but rather make the choice TODAY to

say yes.

Yes to enjoying this awkward (often smelly) stage of life my boys are in

Yes to cherishing the past while taking the time to savor each moment of the present

Yes to watching them grow into the men God designed them to be

Yes to being a mama of growing up boys.

I’m unwrapping my role and embracing it {and trying to ignore the literal searing pain in my chest at the thought of Jared going to high school next year}

Join us here for more Unwrapped posts…

2009 Recap…Meme style

Well, I told my kids that I wouldn’t blog this week, as we are in Florida visiting family together.  However, they have deserted me in favor of spending time with their uncles and grandfather so I was going through my blog reader (492 posts, show-off’s) and came across this fun meme at Musings of a Housewife.  So, to quelch my boredom (my little nephew is sleeping) I will share this recap of my year with you, meme style.  If you join in be sure to let me know so I can learn about your year as well (or pick one of the questions and answer it in the comments) I apologize for the lack of pictures but I didn’t bring my laptop on this trip and don’t have access to my picture files =(

What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I attended several blogging conferences! (BlogHer ‘09, SheSpeaks, Sitscation) and met many of my fabulous in the computer friends “in real life”.  The hubby came with me to Sitscation and meeting some of my social media pals made this “blogging thing” more understandable to him. (That sentence was full of bad grammar)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I am anti-New Year’s resolution.  Feel free to watch the replay of my webinar on the subject here I did manage to live by our family theme for 2009 which was gratitude.  For 2010, our theme is giving.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes!!! I became a proud auntie (again) on October 4th, 2009 when my little nephew, Treyden Edward, was born. I am sitting here typing this, while visiting his daddy (my little brother) and mama in Florida.

Did anyone close to you die?

Not in my immediate family but my best friend’s grandparents passed away within a week of each other late in the year.  It was difficult to watch her go through that and made me so grateful that my grandparents are still here.

What countries did you visit?
No traveling out of the country this year.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Nothing tangible….but I would love to have the children that I had in 2007 return to me.  Since they entered the tween years they are no longer recognizable to me in any way, shape or form. However, I am told not to hold my breath…this “phase” is one they will be in until they leave home.  If that is true, than this year I need the patience that I lacked in 2009.

What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 22 because Jared turned 13, October 4 because I gained a new nephew and December 14 because that is when we moved into the new house.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

God opening the door for me to be the keynote speaker at a local women’s conference in October.  It has certainly sparked a strong desire in my heart to continue to minister to women in that way.

What was your biggest failure?

Obama became President in January (with the help of my vote) and for reasons I will not debate on my blog, I regret my voting decision. I can, however, acknowledge when I am wrong.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Unfortunately, the answer to this question is yes.  I continued to live with multiple sclerosis and changed my treatment to an interferon injection in July.  I suffered a few back injuries (lumbar radiculopathy and a herniated disc) due to MS related falls.  I was then diagnosed with systemic lupus in October.  Not a great year healthwise, that is for sure.

What was the best thing you bought?

Our new house…it takes so much stress off of me to have a one level home that I can keep up with.  Our former home was just too much for me with my health issues.  I am really enjoying the new house (although we have only been there for two weeks)

Whose behavior merited celebration?

I have a friend, Jill,  that I met through blogging (and have since met IRL) to whom I look up to- for her strength, her tenacity, her dedication to what God lays on her heart and, most of all, for her pure love for Jesus.  (She will not like that I am mentioning her but I want her to know  how much her example means to me and how God uses her to impact my life)

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The mainstream media’s behavior has been both appalling and depressing to me this year.  Case in point- click here

Where did most of your money go?

medical expenses, hands down.

 What did you get really, really, really excited about?

So, here is a confession- it does not take much to get me really, really excited about something.  I enjoy life so much!  In addition to being excited about most of the things I have a lready mentioned, I was excited when Jared made the 8th grade basketball team and when Matt’s Lego league got 2nd place for their presentation at the state competition.  I got pretty darned excited when Noelle Mena asked me to be a part of Christian Women Affiliate, as well!  Have you listened to my blog talk radio show yet?

What song will always remind you of 2009?
Probably A Baby Changes Everything b y Faith Hill.  It fit in so well with my testimony, my focus on teen pregnancy ministry this year and I sang it three times at our church’s Christmas Eve Service so it is fresh on my mind.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

a) happier

b)fatter

c) poorer

With the answers to b and c, you would think I would be sadder?  Hmm, maybe the joy of the Lord is my strength!!

What do you wish you’d done more of?

travel…can never get enough travel time.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I worried less about things I can not change…when I give something to God I need to stop taking it back!

How did you spend Christmas?

We had a nice, relaxing Christmas in our new home.  (Now, the day after Christmas was our road trip from H-E-double hockey sticks, which will be it’s own post when I return home)

Did you fall in love in 2009?

Twice…I fell in love with my mini schnauzer puppy when we brought her home in March and I fell in love with my sweet, kissable, chubby nephew Trey.

What was your favorite TV program?

Criminal Minds is truly my favorite TV program.  Other than that, I enjoy anything on the Food Network and HGTV.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Do I need to give the “hate” lecture that my kids hear whenever they say that word?  It is kind of lengthy, just sayin’

What was the best book you read?
The God Chasers by Tommy Somebody (oops).  Really powerful book!  Also, Dangerous Surrender,  by Kay Warren is very moving.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

I learned how to download accompaniment tracks onto CD from the Christian bookstore websites (this saves me having to wait for them to order and ship).  I am not a tech savvy person so figuring out how to burn something onto CD is a BIG deal for me, just so you know =)

What did you want and get?

I wanted a video camcorder to vlog with andone was in my swag bag one of the BlogHer parties.

What did you want and not get?

Children that do not back talk..’nuff  said.

What was your favorite film of this year?

By far, The Blind Side.  Have you seen it yet?

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30 in 2009.  Friends took me out to dinner (and don’t tell) but I ca n’t remember what hubby did for me.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Unlimited funds to travel and visit family

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

accessorize, accessorize, accessorize

What kept you sane?

pharmaceuticals…chocolate….sleep and my faith in Jesus (not in that order)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I know this is probably not a popular one, but something about Kate Gosselin resonates with me.  Not the hair do, of course.  But she is strong, determined and handling herself with class in an abominable situation.  I enjoyed her book, Multiple Blessings, and pray every day that she gets back to her faith to get through this difficult time.  And, I don’t like the word fancy…hard to define.

What political issue stirred you the most?

health care reform, for sure. 

Who did you miss?

I really missed my Aunt Janet (she passed away in 2006) this year. She has always been able to lift my spirits.  Several times this year, with my health issues weighing me down, I wished I could pick up the phone and hear her voice or go to the mailbox and find one of her care packages waiting for me. 

Who was the best new person you met?

I got to meet some of my mentors in real life…Alli Worthington, Lysa TerKeurst and the gals from SITS.   I can’t even list all the pals I made at the different conferences because I would leave someone out….I do have to say that the Tip Junkie really made a sweet impression on me too.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009

I learned that time (and the healing blood of Jesus) can heal old wounds.  Reconnecting with my dad after a thirteen year estrangement was one of the most healing and satistfying experiences of my life.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

“Lessons Learned” by Carrie Underwood

There’s some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I’ve been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don’t really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There’s mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should’ve taken,
Been some signs I didn’t see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don’t make no difference,
The past can’t be rewritten,
You get the life you’re given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can’t change the past,
Cause it’s gone,
And you just gotta move on

Say Cheese…

Yes, so I know I said today that I would be posting sporadically and now I’m posting twice in one day- but that is what happens when I take a hot cocoa break from unpacking boxes to check my Google reader…I discover adorable post ideas like this one from the Happy Housewife.  She challenged us to keep it real with our photos and share some of the out takes from family photo shoots gone wrong real…

So here are a few of my faves:

This is my little brother, Tsjaad and nephew Marcus.  They had a ritual of kissing each other good night and my stepmom and I thought it would be adorable to snap a shot of it (to embarass them with at a later date)  This certainly proved easier said than done.

Then there is my youngest, Matt, who is going through the phase (that has lasted for several years) of making goofy faces for the camera, thus ruining the picture perfect scene mom is trying to create.

For example:

I think he might have gotten his goofyness (is that a word?) from his dad:

What do you think?

Join in the fun at the Happy Housewife.

Monday Mingle #3

Courtesy of our host Eighty MPH Mom, here is my Monday Mingle.

Have a great week everyone!

I am not a scrooge…

To prove the fact that, despite the absence of a Christmas tree in our home right now, I am not Mrs. Scrooge I decided to swipe this meme from my friend Karie at The Five Fish.

Feel free to swipe it yourself, I would love to know your answers =)

1.) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

I am a professional organizer, people!  I started my Christmas shopping right after Christmas last year.

2.) Tell me about one of your special traditions.
We have a lot of fun traditions.  One of my favorites is driving around to look at Christmas lights and coming home to have hot cocoa with the boys.

3.) When do you put up your tree?

Is this question designed to rub in the fact that my tree is not up yet?  Sheesh!  We typically put it up on Black Friday after I get home from shopping and take a nap.  However, since we are moving this coming Monday, the tree is not up yet.

4.) Are you a Black Friday shopper?
Absolutely!  It is one of my holiday traditions.  This year was a little traumatic as a lady in front of me in line at Target passed out, hit her head HARD on the floor and an ambulance had to come.  Hope she is okay!

5.) Do you Travel at Christmas or Stay home?

Since we are the ones with kids in our family, everyone typically has come to us. We usually celebrate with my mom Christmas Eve and my hubby’s family comes over on Christmas morning.  Now that our boys are getting older it is easier for us to travel so it really varies by the year.  This year we will be staying home as we will still be getting settled.

6.) What is your funniest Christmas memory?
I loved the days when the boys were little and would come down to wake up my hubby.  I have the most adorable pictures of the three of them trying to wake Daddy (who was really awake and just pretending to be asleep for their benefit).

7.) What is your favorite Christmas Movie of All time?
We like the Polar Express, to watch as a family.  I like the old movies myself.

8.)Do you do your own Christmas Baking, what’s your favorite treat?
Yes, another tradition.  We make cookies and other yummy goodies to give to the neighbors, the mailman, etc.  I need to get baking =)

9.) Fake or Real Tree?

Unfortunately I am allergic to real pine trees so we go with the fake.  It is fairly realistic looking, in my opinion.

10.) What day (as a Mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?
Christmas Eve I get this panic that I didn’t get the kids enough things or the house isn’t decorated enough, ridiculous.  Us mama’s need to cut ourselves some holiday slack!

11.) Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
Typically no, but it has happened in the past.

12.) What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?
I love watching Mike put things together for the boys and they just sit watching his every move.  Priceless!

13.) What Christmas craft do you like the best?
One year we made picture frame ornaments out of mason jar lids.  I treasure those little pictures of the kids!

14.) Christmas music. Yes or No, and if yes What is your favorite song?
I am such a Christmas nerd! I listen to Christmas music non-stop from Black Friday on.  My favorite songs are Joy to the World and White Christmas.  I will be singing A Baby Changes Everything at church this year and that is a beautiful song!

15.) When do you plan to finish all your shopping?
I just have some loose ends to buy and should be finished by this weekend.

Uniquely You

Today, joining with Laurie from Women Taking a Stand, we are being thankful for uniqueness.

I think my readers are painfully aware of the things that make me unique so I thought I would point out some things I am thankful for about the ways the people I love are special to me, because of their quirks unique qualities.

My hubby~ God wired Mike to be cheap fiscally responsible.  I have learned so much from him about being a good steward (enough to write a Bible study about it LOL)  God also made Mike to be even-tempered- ALL THE TIME! Is it possible God knew he would be married to a spaz like me someday and someone would need to be able to be level headed? Hmmmm….

My oldest~ Sometimes with all the trials we have faced raising Jason, it can be easy to overlook the ways that God made him special.  God gave Jason a creative spirit…he is a talented artist, appreciates music and has a flair for fashion all his own.  He have him an innate stubbornness that helped him survive the early years of his life before he came to us.  God ALWAYS knows what He is doing!

My middle boy- Jared and I are so much alike I often forget to be thankful for his strengths and just get annoyed.  He is a great debater- wants to be a lawyer when he gets older (good choice!)  He is athletic and competitive.  At the same time, he has a sweet spirit (that is less evident with the whole being 13 thing) and is so good with babies and older people.  God has also given him a desire to do things the right way and the boy can’t lie (he tells on himself).

My youngest boy- Unique is the first word we use to describe Matt.  Matt marches to the beat of his own drum, God has given him a strong sense of worth, regardless of what other’s say or think.  I envy that!  And God did that on purpose because Matt gets bullied and picked on, and he just let’s it roll off his back and prays for the kids being mean to him.  Yet, when it comes to other people that are hurting or being mistreated, Matt has the most compassionate desire to help them.

I could go on and on with how God has placed unique people in my life, the perfect people to be my friends.

But I will leave you with this thought from Psalm 139: 13-14:

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

God truly does know how to take each of His unique creations and place us together to form something truly special- a family.

Whose unique qualities are you thankful for today?

Mustang Sally

Tomorrow my YOUNGEST child will turn twelve!  Officially gone are the days of car seats, double strollers, Happy Meals (although those didn’t occur often), elementary school, and Cub Scouts.  I went through a (rather long but now over) phase period when the boys were smaller that I longed for another baby.  That feeling has passed. Mike and I have both decided that if we have another child (which would be by adoption because I can’t have any more children) we will adopt an older child (6+).

When I wonder what it will be like to be child free in a few years, when I start to get tearful just thinking about my boys starting high school (let alone graduating and going off to college) I just remember that as they age the less I will need of my mini-van and the more I will be able to drive this around:

And that, my friends, is a finer thing!

Join us here for more Finer Things Friday posts.

Thankful through the valley

This week, participating in National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness week, I made a conscious effort to not grumble or complain.  That is almost impossible but I did try.  Then I remembered that today would be Thankful Thursday and I could utter (or write, really) the words that very few people understand…I am thankful that I have multiple sclerosis.

Have you ever faced a valley time in your life?  A dark place, an obstacle so much bigger than you, a situation that seemed hopeless?  In Psalm 23 it says this:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

The valley of the shadow of death is referring to those dark periods, those valleys I referenced above.  In II Corinthians 12:9, Jesus says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”.

You see, friends, it is when I am my weakest that His incomparable strength can truly be seen.  It is when my flesh is rendered useless that His will can be accomplished.  If I was still my “able-bodied” self, I would be back in the rat race of life, corporate America and checking off boxes on my good Christian list.

Attend church- check.

Volunteer at free clinic- check.

Put money in the offering plate- check.

But I didn’t know Jesus then. I hadn’t let Him fill all my empty spaces.

And now, post-MS diagnosis, post-independent, career woman Melissa I can finally say I am set free, through the precious blood of Jesus, from needing to strive to please Him, from having to accomplish anything in my own power, from having to earn my space.  Jesus knows me and every day I know Him more.

That is why I am thankful for this illness.  It brought me to a place where I can know my Jesus.  If that is what it took, how can I not be thankful for it?

What are you thankful for today?

You may not know..

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is:  multiple sclerosis
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: January 2008, on my 29th birthday as a matter of fact
3. But I had symptoms since: 2003
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:  not working full-time
5. Most people assume: that I feel better than I do
6. The hardest part about mornings are: waking up to see how I feel and if my day will be able to go as planned
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey’s Anatomy and I loved ER back in the George Clooney days
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my laptop, my connection to the outside world
9. The hardest part about nights are: having energy to spend time with my kids and hubby
10. Each day I take _6_ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) and I get an MS treatment injection (Rebif) three times a week
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried acupuncture (wasn’t for me), gone to a naturopath and am careful with my diet (most of the time=)
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I wouldn’t change my illness because God allowed it in my life for a reason.  I do wish my illness was more visible at times so I felt less judged.
13. Regarding working and career: It is hard (on my pride) to admit that I can’t do what I used to do.  There are days I miss corporate America but at the same time I am able to focus on my true passions now- writing and ministry.
14. People would be surprised to know: I am in pain most of the time.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: having to say no to things I would have previously not hesitated to do- riding bikes with my kids, volunteering at VBS, etc.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: travel alone.  Showed me I am more capable than I (and my loved ones) thought!
17. The commercials about my illness:  are deceptive.  I have an invisible illness so I could look like the women on the pamphlets too and still feel completely yucky!
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: being able to drive wherever I want (I can only drive 30 miles due to fatigue issues)
19. It was really hard to have to give up:  a glass of wine every now and then (alcohol interacts with some of my meds)
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging (and it has been a lifeline for me!)
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: clean my house from top to bottom, play with my kids and make love to my hubby all in the same day
22. My illness has taught me: that my value is not in what I accomplish and God has plans for my life I would have never known about had I not been slowed down by this illness.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:  “But, you look great”.  If you didn’t put the “but” in there, it would feel like more of a compliment.
24. But I love it when people:  ask how I am feeling before they ask me to do something or go somewhere.  It gives me the ability to say “I don’t feel up to it” without rejecting the person/activity.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: “And in the end, it is not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years”  and Phillipians 4:19.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: MS is not a death sentence but the quality of your life from this moment on is up to you and your attitude.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: I am stronger (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) than I ever knew.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: there is a sweet lady at church (I call her my spiritual mother) who has dropped off meals on my porch (knowing I didn’t feel up to company or cooking), driven me to infusions when I had optic neuritis, sends me thinking about you cards just because…she will never know how much all of that means to me (and yes, I have tried to tell her)
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to raise awareness so that people can look through a different lens at the person parking in the handicap spot even though they “look fine”, people will be less likely to get their feelings hurt if I sleep through an appointment or have to turn down an opportunity.  Cut people slack- you don’t know what they are going through!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:  appreciated, loved and not so invisible!

Wordless Wednesday- The $5000 smile

No more braces=happy teen!

For more Wordless/Wordful Wednesday’s visit here, here and here.

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