Simplify simply

Serve the Lord with all your heart; and do not turn aside after useless things that cannot profit or save. — I Samuel 12: 20-21

For some reason, this verse really struck me today during my quiet time.  Do not turn aside after useless things than cannot profit or save…

What could those useless things look like?

~ambition

~too many activities

~too many distractions (Facebook, Twitter)

~wrong motives

~selfishness

~discontent

I could go on and on.  It is just like the apostle Paul wrote- I do what I don’t want to do and what I know I should do I don’t (my paraphrase of course).

I appreciated the straightforwardness of this verse this morning.

A barometer for my actions, my choices, my decisions.

Cutting through the clutter of life is a passion of mine, a passion I know the Lord laid on my heart.  Helping people cut through the distractions of life so they can see what is truly important.

Today I was reminded I need to start with myself, my schedule, my family.

Lord, help me to turn from useless things and not be distracted by anything that is not coming straight from You. I want you to have my whole heart- nothing less. ~Amen

This post is linked here.

~

Feeling Loved

I came across this old blog post of mine (circa 1/6/09) from a blog I don’t have anymore and thought the post beared repeating.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle to me feeling loved is ME.

I’m a smart gal.  I know intellectually that God loves me, all my sins have been forgiven and have even been cast into the sea of forgetfulness- wait.  That’s the problem. 

I need a sea of forgetfulness for myself.

Do you ever do that?  Beat yourself up for things you did, mistakes you made a looong time ago that really bear no resemblance to the choices you make today?

I can’t be the only one…

In my teenage years I was a rebellious, bitter girl.  I had every “right” to be angry, according to the world.

Thankfully God got ahold of me when I was 19 and I have been His ever since.  Yet all this time later (11 years for those that are counting) I can still get caught up in the self doubt and self judgement of those things that I did then.

Shame can creep up on me and hinder me from pursuing something I feel God calling me to do.  That shame can render me stagnant. 

Which, I believe, is the enemy’s plan.

The reason we don’t forget the things that have happened in our lives is that we are meant to use our experiences for good (or allow God to).  We are to mentor and encourage otheres who may be going through similar trials.

But, the enemy is there to whisper in your ear “you can’t be a credible witness”, “people wouldn’t like you if they knew XYZ”..

The great thing about our Savior is that He gave us the prescription for curing this problem right in His word. 

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he (or she) is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.  II Corinthians 5:17

So, friend, when you are having trouble accepting the love of Christ into your life and feeling like the cherished child of God that you are, turn off those old scripts from the enemy and replace them with the love, grace and mercy our Heavenly Father longs to lavish on you.

 

To be honest…

I had a post prepared about a hilarious outing we had last night…a comical attempt to free our deep freezer from the home that is for sale after *someone* bought too much meat at a BOGO sale to fit in the itty bitty teen tiny freezer in the kitchen of our current home.

But that post will have to wait.

There is this temptation on a blog (at least for me) to glaze over the uglier parts of life.  The aspects of our lives that aren’t going so well, our failures and struggles.  I usually try to be honest and authentic in this space but lately have found myself writing “fluff” in a desire to avoid writing about the deeper, sometimes uglier issues I need to write about.

Now please don’t think that writing funny stories about my kids and posting pictures of my dogs aren’t important to me- on the contrary, for sure.

But, when those are the majority of my posts- well, those of you  that have read my blog for any length of time know that is not congruent with the purpose of this blog.

I am struggling to figure out how to raise tweens and teens in this culture and society.

I am spending too much time on Twitter and Facebook to avoid writing the things God has called me to write.

I am bogged down in the heavy reality that bad things happen in this fallen world and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Maybe it is being snowed in, maybe it is circumstance, maybe (or most likely) it is conviction.

Whatever it is, I am unwrapping the need to be honest and get back on my path.

Psalm 127:1 reminds us that:

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain (their work is useless)

My work here is feeling quite useless lately.  All I can ask is that you hang in there while I figure this blogging thing out (all over again)…

This post is linked here.

Made for relationship

Today I listened to my friend Amy talk about friendship on her radio show.  Coming home from a weekend like this leads one to think about friendship, about connection, about how our Creator intended for us to be in relationship with others.

Relationships that allow us to take off our grown up hats and put on our play time hats (or boas and beads as the case may be)

Relationships that allow us to relax.  To lean back into the knowledge that we are accepted for who we are in this moment.

Relationships that allow us to celebrate each others success without thought of competition or glory.

Relationships that make our hearts smile and our spirit sing

~A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words~

Author Unknown

Today I am thankful for my friends.  What are you thankful for?

The Waiting Game

Back in the spring of 2006, God put a strong call on my life.  I argued with Him (while crying, laughing and driving down a dangerous stretch of highway).  I told Him He definitely had the wrong girl.  But, God can be persistent (in case you didn’t know that).

Fast forward three and a half years and I somehow figure I should get out my measuring stick (so to speak)…see how far I’ve come towards that plan.

Of course, I do not measure up to my own expectations.

And then I start saying things like this “I should be farther along with {x, y, z}.  If I’m ever going to fulfill this burden on my heart I should at least be at point {j, k, l} by now” and “I knew I was unworthy of this call, God got this one wrong” and “I should be doing more to make this happen” and “what did I do wrong?”

Interestingly enough, the sermon at last night’s midweek service was on Psalm 23.  And I learned something I did not know.  The valley of the shadow of death referred to in verse 4 translates from the Hebrew into the valley of swirling shadows.

Hmmm, swirling shadows.  Could this be shadows such as:

a period or instance of gloom, unhappiness, mistrust, doubt, dissension, or the like, as in friendship or one’s life?

OR

a dominant or pervasive threat, influence, or atmosphere, esp. one causing gloom, fear, doubt, or the like? (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com)

Could it be that the enemy wants me to be surrounded by the swirling shadows of mistrust and doubt?

Could it be that God is leading me through the last three and a half years, not in abandonment of the vision He provided, but in preparation for it?

Is it not in the valleys of life that we stand to learn the most?

So, today I am thankful for the promise of Romans 8 (if you have time read the WHOLE chapter) especially, verses 15, 18-21, 28-31, 37-39.

Exactly what I needed to hear this morning:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [or daughter-ship, in my case] and by Him we cry Abba, Father.  Romans 8:15

Oh, yes!  That is all I need to do- cry out to Him who is with me all the time. The One who is faithful to complete the good work in and through me for His glory (and in His timing).  God’s measuring stick does not compute accomplishment or human “doings”.  He cares far more that I am leaning on Him throughout the journey.

For more Thankful Thursday posts, click here.

Contentment and Kids

I realized something this weekend.  My children do not possess a spirit of contentment.

Maybe it’s the catastrophe in Haiti, maybe it is reading the Bible in 90 days, maybe it is observing how my kids handle disappointment…I don’t know.  But, I do know that I am deeply convicted that it needs to change.

To be completely honest, it took a near death experience for me to fully grasp what being content truly means, just as the apostle Paul wrote in Phillipians 4:11-13:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

I want to teach my children the secret spoken of in these passages.  That being content should not depend on whether you get to go to the skating rink with your friends or whether you have the latest video game in your hands the second it is released.

I am mad (adolescents can push my angry buttons quite well), I am sad (that they don’t have a deeper understanding of this concept) but most of all I am determined.

I am determined to go back to the way we used to do things in our house…before we got busy.

Oh, friends, if only we could see how busyness is a tool of the enemy.

When my kids were small, we had a gratitude and prayer journal that we wrote in almost daily.  We would go back at the end of the year and see how God had provided for us and answered our prayers.

I have a prayer journal but do we continue to do this as a family?  No.

Why not?  Because between homework, sports and general busyness, that time has not been a priority.

I have told myself it isn’t that big of a deal.  My kids are good kids.  They go to church, youth group and mission camp.

We can rationalize anything away, can’t we?

My husband and I discussed this  (in the car, the only place we get true privacy LOL) and committed before the Lord that our focus would change from this point on.

We only have a few years of direct influence on these boys.  I want them to leave our home knowing how to be content, no matter the circumstance.  I need to unwrap the secret that I learned, and that the apostle Paul learned, and instill it in my children.  Will you pray for me?

P.S After thinking and praying about this all weekend, I came across a post that confirmed we are on the right track.  You can read it here.

This post is linked to Tuesdays Unwrapped.

Fresh Perspective

I joined the Bible in 90 days challenge and have posted about it before. Our reading focused on Leviticus for most of the week last week.

I admit that I went into it kind of rolling my eyes and being irritated about all the do’s and don’ts.  (You have to understand that I spent many years during childhood in a very strict sect of a very erroneous denomination.  Therefore I get very rankled when I start reading the “rules” I was expected to follow for so long.)

God really used this reading to give me a fresh perspective on this part of the Bible.  We read in Numbers that Moses was leading over 600,000 people to the Promised Land.

Can you imagine being responsible for that many people, in the desert, living in tents?

The Israelites had lived in Egypt, where everything was decided for them.  They lived as slaves with very little rights.  Then they go into the desert…and I venture to guess they needed some rules, some guidelines, some direction.

Suddenly, it made sense to me.  The Mosaic law wasn’t that different from the laws that we have in our country to prevent anarchy and lawlessness.

We know as mothers that children need boundaries, guidelines, structure.  That is what the law was providing.

I needed that fresh perspective.  I understood that God was looking out for the greater good.  Many of the rules instructed the people how to handle infectious diseases, how to handle mildew…God was looking out for their best interest.

I am so thankful He is still concerned with the best interest of those that believe.

Can’t wait to discover more hidden treasures during this amazing challenge.

Where I am at…

I have joined with several other ladies in a pledge to read the Bible in 90 days (you can learn more about it here).  Today is day five.  I wanted to share some of my thoughts from what I have read so far.  It is truly amazing what God can lay on your heart when you are open to listening.

First of all, I have to admit that the first five books of the Bible have never been on my preferred reading list.  The list of who is the father of who and how long they lived can just get boring with a capital B.  One of the reasons I think that this format is going to be successful for me is because the reading is on a deadline.  My type A personality thrives on deadlines so knowing that I have to read through a certain chapter by midnight tonight to be on track is very motivating and gets me through the begats.

The other reason the Old Testament can get kind of heavy for me is because I have such internal turmoil trying to reconcile the God that inspires fear, demands blood sacrifice and encourages war to the God that I know today.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe they are the same but reading through the Old Testament makes me that much more grateful for the gift Christ gave us through His death on the cross.  All the legalism from the Old Testament was washed away with His blood and for that I am so thankful.

On to the reading and my thoughts:

I enjoy the creation story.  It is beyond my capacity to fathom that God created all that I see out of nothing.  What a mighty God we serve!

The story of Joseph is one of my favorite in the Bible.  Joseph was such a fine example of a man who persevered under difficult circumstances and did the right thing, whether it was popular or not.

The biggest lesson I learned from Joseph’s story is that if you give up, you may miss out.

Joseph had so many opportunities to give up, to say what people wanted him to say, to allow bitterness and hatred to take up residence in his heart.  But, he chose love, he chose obedience, he chose to trust in the path God had for him.

And imagine what he would have missed out on had he given up and given in to all the negativity that surrounded him.  His own family sold him, he was falsely accused, imprisoned…yet, his inner strength and character always triumphed in the end.  And he was rewarded (here on this earth and I am sure in heaven as well) God ALWAYS came through for Joseph.  What a testimony!

As you can see, Joseph’s story is the one that has really hit home with me in the first few days of the reading.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in the upcoming weeks.

Are you taking the challenge?  Is there a particular story God has used to touch your heart?  Please share in the comments!

A Talk with Jesus

I admit it.  I let it get to me.

The hustle and bustle of holiday preparations.  The stress of moving.  Preparing for a looong road trip the day after Christmas.  Seemingly ungrateful children.  The 20″ of snow that threw a wrench in my plans for the week (and y’all know how I feel about my plans)

I, Melissa Smallwood, of Organized Life by Design, was feeling grumpy and overwhelmed (rather Grinch like, as a matter of fact)

I waited too long to take my feelings to the One who could help.  But last night I finally did and this is how our conversation went:

“Melissa, Melissa; you are worried about so many things…but only one thing is needed.”

Ahem, Jesus…I hear you.  But these things are important.  Do you realize I haven’t even put up a Christmas tree this year?  What kind of a mother am I?

“Come sit for a moment, my child.  Let me take a look at this load you are carrying.”

I reluctantly sat at His feet, thinking of all I could be accomplishing during this time.  As I lowered myself to the floor, I arranged my burden around me (so I could keep an eye on it).

“That is quite a load there.  May I take a look?”

I handed Him the first box of burden.  It was labeled obligation.

Cringing at the thought of Jesus opening and seeing all the projects I had committed to that I had not consulted with Him about, I began to cry.

Seeing my tears, Jesus reached down and caressed my face.  “My dear sweet girl, this is a burden you come back to, time and again.  Please let me carry it for you.”

Even being offered this out (so to speak) from the baking, decorating and shopping frenzy I hesitated to allow Jesus to take that box.  What would people think if Mrs Holiday I didn’t put up a tree, deliver cookies to the neighbors and have a handmade bow atop each present?

As if reading my thoughts (He can do that, you know?) Jesus repeated words to me that He had spoken some 2000 years before : “Come to me, Melissa.  You are weary and burdened and I can give you rest.  Take MY yoke (and I will take yours) upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.” (paraphrase Matthew 11:28,29)

I was beginning to feel lighter not carrying that box of obligation on my lap so when Jesus reached down for the next box I did not resist.

“Ahh“, He said.  “Another burden you consistently pick back up- expectation“.

I looked downward, embarrassed that I am so predictable.  It is so easy to fall into our old patterns.

My expectations of myself can never be surpassed by anyone else’s expectations of me.

Shaking His head, in a gentle and compassionate way, Jesus said “You strive for that thing that can not be obtained- perfection. When will you stop striving and realize that it is in your weakness that I am strong? (I Corinthians 1:26-30) Please don’t waste your time and talents, those things I put in you to make you unique and special on striving for something you will never attain.  Just simply abide in me, my child.”

By this point I realized how far I had traveled off the path.

Jesus continued to speak words of life to me “Don’t you see, sweet girl?  Those moments when you are striving for everything to be perfect, you are standing in the way of My will.  Let us walk together, don’t try to strain ahead.”

There was one more box of burden.  I wanted to give this one to Jesus desperately, for it is the one that caused me the most pain and inner turmoil.  But, knowing that relinquishing this burden meant dealing with this burden in His will created a battle within my flesh. People would be let off the hook, wrongs would not be righted, things would never change.

Sensing my reluctance, Jesus put his nail scarred hands on this box. My hands shook as He lifted it from my grasp.  “Do not fear.  I will give you the strength, let my light shine in to this area of darkness.  All I ask from you is to love.  Love freely, love willingly, love generously.”

But, I can’t.  It is too hard.

“You can do anything with the strength I provide“. (Phillipians 4:13)  “Will you do this for me?  Will you let my peace rule in your heart and heal every hurt?”

With tears streaming down my face, I released my grasp on unforgiveness.  As soon as I let go of that box of burden, I felt so light and free.

“Now go…enjoy your Christmas.  I want everyone to experience joy and peace this season, not feel bound by burdens like yours.  Will you share this freedom with others?”

And, so I do. If I could shout from the mountain tops I would.  I am free because Jesus came down to this earth as a babe.  Born to a teenage girl in a cave, He came so that you and I could have life, free from boxes of burdens.

Merry Christmas, my friends.  If there are any burdens you carry this season, will you not hand them over to the One that stands waiting to bear them for you?

A Baby Changes Everything

A baby changes everything…truer words were never spoken.  It has been difficult for me to write about the mundane tasks of the holiday season (the stringing of the lights, the wrapping of presents, the mailing of cards)….maybe it’s moving in the midst of Christmas, maybe it’s fatigue or maybe it’s the Holy Spirit laying the realities of this time on my heart.

The birth of Christ was a gift.  The most important gift of all time.  As with any gift, we have to accept it.  And once we do we are never the same.

Yet, every so often I don’t feel any different and I want the “new”ness of accepting Jesus’ gift for my life, I want it back.

Then I remember, He’s not withholding that from me, I have busied myself right away from it.

I just want to abide in Him this season.

We serve an Awesome God.  When I look at my children the thought of giving them up to be beaten, tortured and murdered for the sake of others- I’m sorry, I couldn’t do it.  But He could and He did.

God used a baby to change everything for me twice.

Two thousand years ago on a cross, sent to take the blame for the sins I would someday commit; the baby Jesus changed everything for me.

Then thirteen years ago, an unplanned teen pregnancy and baby Jared’s birth and very existence led me to the foot of that same cross to accept my gift- the gift of forgiveness, grace, mercy and salvation

Please let us not forget the true meaning of Christmas and how a baby changes everything!

Next Page »