I am quite certain that is why God made me the mama of three active boys {proof of God’s sense of humor}.

I don’t “do” certain things: dirt, bugs, scary movies..did I mention dirt?

My hubby and boys laugh at the amount of luggage I take on a camping trip.  And, most people that know me have heard me say how grateful I am that I was born where I was, when I was.

Suffice it to say I would not have done well in the frontier days.

Suffice it to say that God is s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me in ministry lately.

I have visited places that literally make my skin crawl {and have made me physically ill}.

The amazing thing is that God gives me this peace that surrounds me when I am in a “dirty” situation and I don’t think about it until I leave {and bathe myself in hand sanitizer}.

My husband struggles with some of the places I go and situations I encounter in my work with teen moms.  I am not always in the safest neighborhoods, the healthiest environments {for someone with my compromised immune system, in particular} and sometimes I am just downright in-over-my head.

But, God.

Isn’t God good?  Yes, He is good.  He is good even when he calls you and me to places that are dirty and disease ridden…He is good because he has met us at our deepest need and now uses us to show his glory and to advance his gospel among the places of greatest need in the world. ~Radical, pg 164

This chapter of Radical (chapter eight) was another reminder that we, as Christians, have settled for comfort over calling.  For luxury over living water.  For our savings account over salvation for the lost.

I have to admit that my perspective on all of this has changed since my wake-up call.  I was very comfortable in my American dream life and my complacent Christian walk.  But, I’m not any more.  And, this chapter reiterated that in my mind and in my heart.

I am not afraid of death. None of us should be.  It is the moment I will be ushered into the best days of my life. As the book echoed the words of Paul so do I “To live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Praise God this world is not my final destination, just the road to Heaven.  I know how the Story ends and I want to live each day here in such a way that others find that road too. Lord, give me focus and strength.  Help me live that type of life for You, every.single.day! Amen.

When we risk our lives to run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in his sovereignty, the security that is found only in his love, and the satisfaction that is found only in his presence.  This is the eternally great reward, and we would be foolish to settle for anything else. ~Radical, pg 181

This post is part of the Radical read along, hosted on Marla’s blog.

Two years ago today my husband dialed 911 after I lost consciousness.

Two years ago I arrived via ambulance to the emergency room “in a fairly severe amount of physical distress and unresponsive…showing cyanosis peripherally as well as centrally.  Cool to touch and diaphoretic.  Difficulty getting a blood pressure reading on this patient.  Patient reveals a thready, spotty pulse, decreased capillary refill.  Digits are cold“… {taken from the medical records of my hospitalization}

Two years ago, despite my medical situation {pulmonary emboli}, I did not die.

Did I get lucky?

No.

Did God love me more than someone else who passed on that day?

No.

Was it my time?

No.

Ever since that day, my life has been different.  I have appreciated my existence in a way I never had before. 

And I begged God not to allow me to waste a day…

 because I do not know how many I have.

Every day is precious.

Since that night that I did not die, God has moved mountains in my path. 

Mountains of bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, arrogance, self-centeredness and pain.

Has it been an easy road?

No.

Has it been worth it?

Yes! 

I have lived as if I were dying and it is exhilirating, freeing and real.

I lived to see my boys reunited and my family start the long road of healing.

I lived to meet sweet blogging friends {and there are too many out there to mention but you know who you are} in real life!

I lived to reconcile with my Dad {after 13 years of not speaking}..God is so good!

I lived to reconcile with my dad, so I got to meet {and fall in love with} my little brother, Tsjaad.

And, I have spent time with my precious nephews, shared my testimony at numerous events, had the privilege of being there for more of my kid’s birthdays and everyday life, more motorcycle rides with my hubby, more dinners with friends, more singing on the worship team…

More living since the day I didn’t die.

And, the most important thing I have come to realize is that every day is a day I didn’t die.  A gift.  A gathering of moments meant to purposed.

What I do with those days is up to me.

I know He loves me more than I will ever be able to fathom.

I know that He cares about the details of my life, the lives of teen girls and the lives of all that read this.

I know that He works ALL things for good and hears every prayer.

I know that He died for my sins and because of that God sees me as righteous.

I know there are people I love that don’t know Him.

I know I want them to know Him the way I do.

I know He can set them free…from bondage, strongholds, addictions and pain.

I know that I pray everyday they will allow Him to do so.

I know He wants them to believe.

I know He loves them and died for their redemption and yours, same as He did for mine.

I know if you ask me how I know all this, I could talk for hours.

Do you know my Jesus?  I would be honored to introduce you to Him.

Who would have thought that a rickety roller coaster and a sweltering day at a cheesy quaint amusement park could bridge huge holes of the heart?

God.

Who would have thought that the day would be full of smiles and fun, rather than anxiety and angst?

God.

Who would have thought that racing go-karts together (see daddy way there in the back, ha!) would be freeing in so many ways?

God.

Who knew that this mama’s heart would behold {all} her children reunited on this side of heaven?

God.

Saturday was a very special day for our family.  It was the first time we had all been together, the five of us, in the same place at the same time in THREE years!

God gave me a gift that I had given up on a long time ago. 

And I have been unwrapping it ever since!

{If you haven’t been here long and this post confuses you, you can read some of the back story here and here.}

The possibilities with God on your side are endless! I think we are all living proof of that!

I am thankful for the possibilities that today holds. The Lord reminds us in Matthew 6:34 not to “worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” When people read this verse they tend to get hung up on the word trouble. What if you replaced it with the word possibility? Because that is what troubles and problems are when we are living in Christ- opportunities and possibilities depending on the way we CHOOSE to handle them. Troubles come- it is how we choose to handle them that can turn them into a wonderful possibility for our life!

I am thankful for the possiblities that await us in eternity! I just finished reading a fabulous book, The Shack. You can read my review here. The vivid imagery in that book reminded me anew of the promise of what is to come when our lives on this earth come to an end. Praise the Lord- I can hardly wait!

I am thankful also this week for the possibilities that lie in my boys. They are becoming young men and certain situations this week revealed to me, that even though they are often self centered and egotistical (typical for this stage of brain development), that the possibility of the men they are becoming is promising. They are compassionate and make choices based on loving others, not just themselves. I am thankful for God giving me those glimpses so that I am not frustrated with them all the time during these adolescent years.

Thank you, Iris, for having us look at possibilities today. Possibility means hope to me and I love living a life based in the hope and promises of God. What possibilities are you thankful for?