In the hectic pace of this American life, we sometimes forget how truly incredible He is.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,  what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? ~Psalm 8: 3-4

Life has been a crazy, out of whack experience this week.  Shayla left on Tuesday so Sweet Pea and I are trying to develop a routine around my ministry schedule.  I haven’t taken a baby to daycare in almost 12 years.  I am a bit out of practice

I feel rushed, tired and frazzled.  None of which are God’s desire for me.

This is my favorite time of year.  The changing colors on the trees, the crisp cool air–it all speaks to my soul.

If I am paying attention!

Part of having a clean heart is paying attention to the things that fill your heart.  Pay attention to the whispers of God through His creation, through Divine appointments, through music–whatever speaks to you.

And, most of all, let yourself be daily reminded of what an awesome God, the One and Only Creator, the Omnipotent God that we serve.

photo credit www.thepracticingcatholic.com

2009 was the year of gratitude.

2010 the year of giving.

As I prayed about our theme, the word that should become the focus of our home for 2011, one word continued to encroach all others….

Grace.

Favor or kindness shown without regard to the worth or merit of the one who receives it and in spite of what that person deserves.  {Nelson’s Compact Bible Dictionary}

Grace for others…grace for my children…grace for my spouse…

and, perhaps most importantly, grace for myself.

A little less “why haven’t you finished this yet” and a little more “I accomplished what God asked me today”.

A little less “you could have handled that so much better” and a little more “thankful for the chance to try again tomorrow”

A little less “why do I keep going down that road” and a little more “thank you God for pointing me back toward Your path”

A little less shame and a lot more grace.

What is your theme for 2011?

I am quite certain that is why God made me the mama of three active boys {proof of God’s sense of humor}.

I don’t “do” certain things: dirt, bugs, scary movies..did I mention dirt?

My hubby and boys laugh at the amount of luggage I take on a camping trip.  And, most people that know me have heard me say how grateful I am that I was born where I was, when I was.

Suffice it to say I would not have done well in the frontier days.

Suffice it to say that God is s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me in ministry lately.

I have visited places that literally make my skin crawl {and have made me physically ill}.

The amazing thing is that God gives me this peace that surrounds me when I am in a “dirty” situation and I don’t think about it until I leave {and bathe myself in hand sanitizer}.

My husband struggles with some of the places I go and situations I encounter in my work with teen moms.  I am not always in the safest neighborhoods, the healthiest environments {for someone with my compromised immune system, in particular} and sometimes I am just downright in-over-my head.

But, God.

Isn’t God good?  Yes, He is good.  He is good even when he calls you and me to places that are dirty and disease ridden…He is good because he has met us at our deepest need and now uses us to show his glory and to advance his gospel among the places of greatest need in the world. ~Radical, pg 164

This chapter of Radical (chapter eight) was another reminder that we, as Christians, have settled for comfort over calling.  For luxury over living water.  For our savings account over salvation for the lost.

I have to admit that my perspective on all of this has changed since my wake-up call.  I was very comfortable in my American dream life and my complacent Christian walk.  But, I’m not any more.  And, this chapter reiterated that in my mind and in my heart.

I am not afraid of death. None of us should be.  It is the moment I will be ushered into the best days of my life. As the book echoed the words of Paul so do I “To live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Praise God this world is not my final destination, just the road to Heaven.  I know how the Story ends and I want to live each day here in such a way that others find that road too. Lord, give me focus and strength.  Help me live that type of life for You, every.single.day! Amen.

When we risk our lives to run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in his sovereignty, the security that is found only in his love, and the satisfaction that is found only in his presence.  This is the eternally great reward, and we would be foolish to settle for anything else. ~Radical, pg 181

This post is part of the Radical read along, hosted on Marla’s blog.

I purposefully didn’t post yesterday because anything I would have said would have been dark, heavy and possibly too much.  Nothing we can ever imagine or do would properly convey the agony Jesus suffered on that day.  Facing separation from His Father (even if temporarily) and bearing the weight of the world’s sins on his shoulders, it brings tears to my eyes to even type that.

Which brings us to today.  The day after.  Christ’s beaten, bruised body laid in a tomb.

Can you imagine what his mother was feeling?  what his disciples were going through?  what the people who had witnessed his miracles and mercy firsthand were pondering?

Did they have doubt?  Were they confused?  Were they beside themselves with grief over losing one who meant so much?

We know the end of the story…the good news.  Tomorrow, we will celebrate the glorious resurrection that was part of God’s plan all along.

But today, allow yourself to sympathize with what the people must have felt.

I know that I have felt doubt in my life.  Wondered where God was in a particular situation.

I know that I have been confused and wondered how something in my life could really be part of God’s plan.

I know that I have grieved, many times, over losing someone important to me and not understanding why.

My guess is that you have too.

Thank God that we are not stuck in the day after.  Thank God that this story does not end here.  Thank God for tomorrow!

This was such a special night.  A night when Jesus provided his disciples (present and future) with beautiful promises for those that choose to serve Him.

The Lord gave them a new command that night (and it still holds true for us today).

A new command I give you.  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  John 13:34-35

I struggle sometimes in my friendships with other believers (other disciples of Jesus). We can really be hard on each other. Amen?

As Christian women we certainly don’t set the best of examples for others when we publically debate over theology, judge one another for our actions without being aware of someone’s complete situation, put our “best” face forward instead of being stripped bare before others as was demonstrated on this Holy Thursday so many years ago.

I write this, not in a spirit of condemnation because I too am guilty of this, but in a spirit of desire: desiring to follow after the command that Jesus left the night before He carried our sins to the cross.

Jesus kept talking that night and would repeat His words about loving one another.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends….This is my command: Love each other.  John 15: 12-13, 17

A great way to lay down our life, our flesh for our friends is to crucify the need to be right.

The need to have the last word.  The need to be vindicated.  The need to be acknowledged.

Today, I am asking my God to bring to my remembrance times that I have not put loving my friends, my sisters in Christ ahead of my own wants, desires and needs.

Wash me, Lord, of selfish ambition, pride, haughtiness, sinful anger.  Let me see others through your merciful and tender eyes. Help me be the friend you want me to be, demonstrating your love to everyone I come in contact with.  Give me the courage to say I am sorry when I miss the mark and the tenacity to carry on.  Through your strength Jesus, only through your strength.  Wash me, Lord.  Thank you for being the example of what true relationships should look like.  I am in awe of your glory. ~Amen.

If anything I have written or said on this site has caused any of you to stumble, hurt you or affected you negatively in any way I take this time to humbly ask for your forgiveness.  Let us spur one another on toward doing good and abiding in Jesus and his sacrificial love for us.

This week I have committed myself to really diving in to the days and hours leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus.  Easter is my favorite holiday- I love celebrating the resurrection and all that it means for those of us that have accepted Christ as our Savior and all it can mean for those yet to be saved.

We attended a Seder event put on by Jews for Jesus at our church last week.  I was awestruck by the symbolism that points back to Christ.  I love learning about traditions and Biblical history.  But, the thing that stuck with me the most after attending that event was my youngest son, turning to his dad and I in the car after the ceremony, and saying “Mama, how can Jews NOT believe in Jesus?”  I was asking myself the same thing.

Only by knowing Jesus can you truly pass-over from death to eternal life.

Then there are all the lessons we can learn from how Jesus conducted himself during this week in His life. (I will be diving into that later this week)

But, today, the day after Palm Sunday (the day of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem) I want to see Him that way…just for today.  Before the world started accusing Him and plotting His death, before He accepted the weight of my sins and bore them on Calvary…I just want to, I need to remember that He is my King, The King and that this deep, sad, story has a happy ending.

I hope that you will join me this week as we uncover the true ugliness of what was done to our Savior, on our behalf.  Stick with me through the injustice, the pain and the bitterness- because we know how this story ends.

And that is what we celebrate on Easter Sunday.

What does Holy Week mean to you?  I would love to know.

We started out by going to get our teeth cleaned (regular six month appointment). Now, when I scheduled the appointment for 8:00 on a Monday morning I had forgotten it was on a break. So, the boys were not at all amused at having to get up and out of the house so early while all their Christmas gifts were beckoning for their attention.
This was my first cleaning since I am on blood thinners. Suffice it to say, in the interest of not grossing anyone out, that I felt like a vampire. My gums have started bleeding when I am brushing my teeth but the dentist just seemed to open the floodgates. ICK! And, in typical me fashion, I was laying there thinking “please don’t get any blood on my outfit I do not have time to go home and change”. Yes, I am a tad bit anal retentive LOL

Then we headed to the bank to put the boys Christmas money in their savings accounts. Then on to the pharmacy to pick up the very medicine that caused the red flood earlier in the morning.
Well, when we got back to the car I fumbled around in my purse for my keys- this is nothing new. They always fall to the bottom of the humongo (probably not a word) purses I like to carry. While I am hunting in the bottom of my purse, Matt says “mom- your keys are on the front seat”. “Noooooo”, I cried out. This happens to me often enough that I shouldn’t have been surprised (they refer to this as brain fog in the MS world) but I was. Matt lovingly (I wish you could feel the sarcasm dripping off that word as I type it) reminded me that the movie I had promised to take them to started it 40 minutes, as if I had forgotten. I placed several phone calls to people who weren’t home or weren’t anywhere near where I was.

While I was freaking out in my flesh, Jared was praying. I didn’t know this. As I mentioned I was freaking out. “Mom, I’ll be right back”, he said. I didn’t even look up from scrolling through the numbers on my cell phone as he crossed the street.

He came back in short order and said “everything’s ok”. God sent that policeman over there- he pointed across the parking lot- and he doesn’t have the tool in his car but he is radioing for another guy to come help us.

And don’t feel bad, Mom. It’s just your disease”.

Three minutes later here came the policeman that I wanted to hug who popped open my car with no problem and allowed us to make it to the movie- we didn’t even miss the previews.

“Don’t feel bad, mom. It’s just your disease”.

Jared was referring to MS but yesterday didn’t have as much to do with that as the disease of busyness and I can do it myselfitis that plagues so many of us. I am ashamed to say that my twelve year old thought to pray when I didn’t. And, God came through. As usual!

I pray that God will continue to work in my life to heal me from my diseases- the busyness of life that drives us to distraction, to being distracted from Him and the fierce independent streak that separates me from leaning on His everlasting arms when I should.