watching your husband love on a baby, having opened his heart and life to the unexpected and embracing it for all it is worth.

Love is…

a teenager playing with a little cousin, making them laugh and admitting they had a good time, too.

Love is…

opening your heart and trusting God to give you enough love to go around to all those He gives you to love.

Love is…

accepting your body as the Temple in which He dwells and loving it accordingly.  Not in spite of the imperfections but because you are just who He created you to be, imperfections and all.

Love is….

cheering your son on in a sport that you do not understand and makes you cringe to watch.

Love is…

celebrating the moments, big and small, together.  Giving glory to the One that makes all things new!

Love is…

making the most of each moment with each child, even if it means milkshakes at McDonald’s on the way to church, just the two of you.

Love is…

cleaning up messes, overlooking grievances, appreciating the little things, making time for each other, valuing the ones God places in your life, letting go of hurts quickly, apologizing for inflicting hurts even more quickly and making every moment count.

Love is family.  Love is marriage.  Love is friends. Love is God, from Him and of Him.

Not chocolates or roses or fancy dinners.  Love is a choice we make everyday to value the people in our lives more than we value ourselves.

What is love to you?

Of course, I appeared to be friendly and open.  If you invited me to your Pampered Chef party, I came (and I bought something).  I took my kids to playgroups and cub scouts and fraternized with the other moms.  I took my pretty Bible to Bible studies, nodding and taking notes at the appropriate times.

But if you expected me to open up and tell you what was really going on in my life?  Fuhhgetaboutit!

Why would I tell people that my marriage was falling apart?

That our son was spiraling out of control?

That medical expenses were close to rendering us bankrupt?

That I hadn’t spoken to my dad in 13 years?

My life was ugly on the inside and I had a hard time letting people see that.

Standing on the stage and singing on the worship team does not a good Christian make.

When everything came crashing down around me and I allowed God to strip away those defensive coping mechanisms that kept people at arms length, the meaning of community changed for me and my family.

Now, in an ironic “it’s a God thing” turn of events, my husband and I are the Biblical Community (aka small group) directors at our church.

Community, real community, is a beautiful, precious gift from God.

Community is not relegated to the walls of a church building but rather lives in and through the hearts of the people God weaves into your life.

The friend God places in your path, that shares a passion neither of you knew you had and births a ministry for you to share.

The friend God gives you that provides clarity, accountability and the freedom to dream God sized dreams with.

The friend that makes you laugh.

The friend that lets you cry.

The friend that you can not see for five years and you still pick up just where your hearts left off because you are sisters in Christ.

The friends that have been there, done that and encourage you in your life stage, with the promise that “it gets easier”

The friends that are where you once were, who allow you to speak encouragement into their lives.

The friends that mentor you, speak the hard truth to you and teach you through their words, but most importantly, through their actions.

The friends that don’t take “fine” for an answer.

Community is comprised of the people around us, who if we allow them to, can administrate God’s love to us and to them through us in a myriad of beautiful, imperfect ways.

No judgment, no expectations, just love and friendship and acceptance.  Living out real life, the good, the bad and the ugly.  That is real community.

Are you a part of a real community?

It may seem like a peculiar birthday gift but to an 11 year old with down syndrome it will be well received.

“string” as he knows it brings comfort and calm to a world that is often overstimulating and overwhelming.

Lupus shoots fiery darts of inflammation and pain into the joints of my hands as I braid, but I don’t stop.

Love hurts sometimes and this is a gift infused with love.

This special little guy is the brother to my daughter.

Only God, through His Love, could bring me the daughter I prayed for AND provide a sweet boy with a special chromosome for me to love too.

{You know if you have spent any time here before that children with special needs have their own place in my heart}

God injects unexpected joys into our lives, if we are open to seeing them as such.

A friendship woven by love and His design takes me by surprise.

She thanks me for throwing a birthday party for her boy.  I thank her for the privilege.

She asks for a picture together and my heart is heavy with the joy of the moment.

We are mama’s of the same daughter.  We are daughters of the same Father.

I stand in awe of God’s redemptive power once again.

and the counting of gifts continues…. {excerpts from my Joy Dare journal}

~ miracles of love evident

~ a job, a car and a house for my sweet friend, such an answer to prayer {God was showing off this week!}

~ a belated birthday gift from a Titus 2 type of friend that brought tears to my eyes {she remembered}

~ playing catch {over and over} with my fur baby, Chloe

~  counting down the days until Shayla and Jason are home again

~ clarity and the letting go of things that are not God’s best for my life

~ holding hands with my hubby as we walk into the gym to watch our son wrestle

~ confirmation of His call that comes in all forms and speaks straight to my heart

~ Sweet Pea patting my back and saying “awww”

~ new girls every day introduced to God through YoungLives

What are you thankful for?

Oft lately, my mind and heart ponder a different type of clutter.

The clutter of busyness.  The clutter of doing.  The clutter that accumulates when you are not weeding out the good to make room for God’s best.

Isn’t it funny how we can be the worst at taking the advice we so freely give?

When life is hectic and the soul is parched, Living Water is the only thirst quencher.

Today I am thankful for the clarity and comfort that comes from spending time in the Word and with the Author.

and the counting of gifts continues… {excerpts from my Joy Dare/gratitude journal}

~ an impromptu dinner with just my youngest

~  transitioning Sweet Pea to the sippy cup

~  dark denim boot cut jeans {that fit}

~  first words in a new prayer journal

~  fresh cut flowers at a swanky event

~  generous organizations that host swanky events to benefit YoungLives

~  frost on the van, windows, it is January after all
~  a husband that supports your choices

~  two out of two wins at middle son’s wrestling tournament

~ the promise of Isaiah 58:11

What are you thankful for?

I found this meme at Chrysalis.  What a neat way to share what is on my heart.

I would love for you to pick a prompt or two and answer in the comments so I can know what is on your heart and mind today!

and the counting of gifts {excerpts from the joy dare for 2012} continues:

440~ each day is a precious, unrepeatable gift (Sarah Young)

441~ I Peter 2:21- To this I am called

442~ gummy cola bottles that bring back childhood memories- pleasant ones.

443~ toffee almond creamer in my hazelnut coffee

444~ a husband that takes excellent care of me when I am not feeling well

445~ Mary Kay lip gloss

446~ steaming shower with smell good body wash

447~ talking to my soldier on the phone once {sometimes twice!} a week

448~ reliable transportation

449~ birthday gifts straight from the heart of sweet friends

I have had a wonderful day full of love, laughs and family.  

Feeling retrospective I decided to chronicle thirty three things I have learned about life {not in any particular order}

1. Polka dots and hot pink make me smile.
2. There are few sounds that bring as much joy as a baby belly laughing.
3. Marriage is hard work, but oh so worth it.
4. There is a huge difference between a job, a career and a calling.
5. When people say “enjoy these moments because they grow up so fast” they are not exaggerating one bit.  Kids literally grow up in the blink of an eye.
6. Having a near death experience will remove most fear from your life and replace it with a sense of urgency to live EVERY minute fully.
7. Chocolate makes everything most things better.
8. God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good.
9. Having kids old enough to drive is scary yet very convenient.
10. God’s plan frequently looks nothing like my plan, but is always the best plan.
11. No matter how many children you have there is always enough love to go around.
12. Speaking of parenthood, it is the most challenging, rewarding, frustrating, meaningful, exhausting miracle in the world.
13. You are not defined by your past.
14. Life is not fair, but God is.
15. Friendships, like gardens, need tended, watered and weeded regularly.
16. Nail polish is a cheap and easy way to feel pretty.
17. You can make any house a home if the people you love are there with you.
18. God’s heart is for restoration and when it is possible, love and time can heal wounds.
19. Friends are your family of choice.
20. Writing is a salve to the soul.
21. A good yellow makes a perfect wall color.
22. Being organized makes life easier.
23. I wouldn’t remember anyone’s birthday if it wasn’t for Facebook.
24. Teen moms are special people and working with them is a privilege.
25. Parenting teenagers is like having your fingernails plucked off with tweezers.
26. You can’t save the world and God doesn’t expect you to.
27. It’s okay to take antidepressants.
28. Pets are members of the family too.
29. Being connected with a body of believers is crucial to spiritual health.
30. Why not me?
31. Every day, there are blessings and miracles happening around you.  All you have to do is open the eyes of your heart and be thankful.
32. Words hurt.  Guard your tongue.
33. Just as Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Thank you, Lord for thirty three years on this planet.  Let everything I do bring glory to You.

What are some of the best lessons you have learned?

I am in love with this gadget, particularly the Pinterest app and Instagram.

Imagine my delight in finding a bloggy link-up for sharing your photos from the week {cause I take a ridiculous amount of photos with my phone}.

Here is my week in photos:

all my kids sitting in one spot without bickering, a photo worthy moment indeed 12/31/11

Sweet Pea plunking on the piano to keep the residents of the nursing home entertained! 1/2/12

Jared, my uber cool 15 year old who will still take photos with mama 12/31/11

Mike and I saying goodbye to our soldier, Jason, for 3 more months of training. 1/3/12

crazy game night {Partini, anyone?} on New Year’s Eve at casa del Smallwood 12/31/11

Spent much of the week like this since Sweet Pea is sick 1/5/12

YoungLives Team 3 represent!  One of us {not me} ate a booger, we collectively chewed the biggest wad of gum, I learned how to Dougie and we still lost the stinkin’ scavenger hunt by 6 points   #i’mstillbitter!

What a fun way to look back on the week!

And, as a follow up to this post I wanted to let you know how I am doing with the Chronological One Year Bible plan.

Ahem, in one word: not-so-good.

I could make excuses {see picture of sick baby above} but I won’t.  I will say that I am two days behind and it is only January 6th.  yikes!  But, I am determined and enjoying this reading plan.  I am taking copious notes because the reading sections are bite sized enough for in depth study.  I love that!  I will update you next week as well {if for no other reason than to hold myself accountable}.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend!!

More Paula Deen and less fend for yourself ’cause this multitasking mama is tired.

More organized and less the girl that gets the call “did you forget your appointment at 9:30?” on a regular basis.

I want to be more, do more and feel like more.

I fully intended to write for 31 days about presenting a clean heart before God this month.  I fully intended to mail the care package to Shayla that has been sitting on my backseat for the last three days.  I fully intended to _______________.

But, today, I feel Jesus calling me to His feet {thanks to the reminder from a friend}.  Sit here and be renewed, He beckons.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~II Corinthians 4:18

The laundry will get done {and put away} and my kids will not go hungry and I will write here when I can.

Right now, I need more of Him, less of me.  More being, less doing.  More abiding, less striving.

Less Martha, more Mary. Or better yet, I need to just be Melissa {the one He created me to be}.

The one with the messy house and hectic life who loves her family, teen moms and Jesus more than anything.

Just Melissa.

Peruse the internet for a while and you will find many blogs, articles and even books on how to simplify your life.

We live in a fast paced, activity filled culture.  Our time is full of activities, even our church calendars are jam packed with fun, family friendly things to do.

Most of what we fill our days with are good things.

But good does not equal God.

• If your to-do list makes you want to pull the covers back over your head, you may be too busy.
• If you give up sleep time to get more accomplished, you may be too busy.
• If you are stressed out and irritable, you may be too busy.
• If you cringe when the phone rings, you may be too busy.
• If you think you will lose your mind if one more thing gets added to your plate, you may be too busy.

And you are not alone.  We live in a society that values accomplishment and results.  I wage this war in my own heart often!

Busyness can easily be used by the enemy as a distraction tactic.  Few things are more useless to Kingdom work than an unfocused, buzzing all-around-but-rarely-landing-on anything busy-bee believer.

Have you ever said “yes” to something or made a commitment without taking the time to ask God if you should?  Oh, my have I learned this lesson the hard way, friends!  Here is what the Bible warns us in Proverbs 20:25:

“It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows” (NIV) and I really like how the Message version says it– “An impulsive vow is a trap; later you’ll wish you could get out of it”.

I am sure we can each recall times that we let “yes” roll of our tongue, knowing daggone well that we didn’t have the time, energy or desire to add one more thing to our list.

There are many good things bidding for our time.  If we spend our days filled with good things {activities, charity, etc.} yet neglect our relationship with God and/or the things He has actually called us to do, we are in danger of missing the whole point of being in relationship with Him.

It is like shooting arrows and narrowly missing the bulls eye.  We think we are shooting well because we are so close, yet in reality we are far from where God desires us to be.

How can we keep good from getting in the way of God?  Here are a few things I try to keep in mind:

1. Is this obligation {activity, recreation, commitment, volunteer opportunity, etc} in line with God’s Word?  Does it pass the Philippians 4:8 test?
2. Have I prayed about this?
3. Do I have peace about my decision?
4. What will the impact be on my family?
5. Will the world end if I say no?

You may laugh at number five but there was a time in my life when I thought that I had to take on everything because if I didn’t who would?  This is a trap of the enemy, based in pride.  What I realized was that by saying “yes” to every good thing that came my way, I was actually  getting in the way of someone else doing what God had for them to do. Stealing their blessing, in a way.

It is okay to say no.  To simplify the family calendar, the work schedule, the volunteer duties is to clean the heart.  And, a clean heart hears the whisper of the Holy Spirit much clearer than a cluttered, busy heart does.

Our time here is a gift.  We only get 1, 440 minutes a day.  Spend those minutes wisely.  Spend them on God things.

What is a good thing that may need to be cleared out of your life to make room for God?

**this is day 10 in the 31 Days to a Clean Heart series.  You can catch up by clicking the link for each day: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9.**

This month, I wanted to continue that conversation in a more practical way.  Let’s talk about how to teach our boys about the concept of covenant from a young age so that when it comes time to explain the marriage covenant and God’s views on sexuality, the concept is already on their hearts and minds.

The word for covenant translates to “a binding agreement”, according to dictionary.com.  If you look up the origin of the word, you could add serious or solemn to that definition to fully understand the Biblical translation.

What are some situations where we could illustrate this principal to our kids in everyday life?

To read the rest of this post, please head over to The M.O.B Society