Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall–humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives. ~Ann Voskamp
Heart laid bare in the last post I wrote and I have had nothing to write since. God and I have been wrestling about my present circumstances. I have failed. My attempt at giving up grumbling and complaining {Philippians 2: 14} for Lent falls pathetic at the feet of my Savior.
My heart, my attitude, my spirit have been pointed inward. Selfishness and self-pity have nibbled away at my resolve and my Bible sat closed for days. With each day of refusing the Light, the darkness took a deeper hold.
Then, I needed to prepare for a talk about sin to a group of teen moms. I had to pray about what to say…I had to open my Bible to write out a speech.
And, as soon as eyes closed and head bowed, the weeping began. Sorrow for turning my back on my Father when I know so well that He is the only One that can make everything good. Opening the Word breathed Light and Life back into my weary soul.
I repented of my sin before I began preparing to talk to these precious girls about sin. My reading led me to John 3:16 and beyond. So often, we recite John 3:16 and don’t read the rest. Let us not overlook the message of verses 17 and 18!
This is how much God loved the world. He gave His Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in Him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust Him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one of a kind Son of God when introduced to Him. John 3:16-18 MSG
How can I speak of the good news of Jesus Christ when my attitude and my heart is stubbornly set against remembering how good He truly is? When I am angry and discontent with my circumstances and impatient with His timing? When I am obstinate towards the One that sent His Son to die an agonizing, horrific death for me? Who am I to act as I have been?
Broken before my Maker, I cried out for forgiveness. He tenderly led me back to the Light of the verses right before the verses that inspired my Lenten fast.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death– even death on a cross! …therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:5-13 NIV
Yes, good purpose! Even in all that I am facing, the pain and the uncertainty, the dark days of depression…God has a reason and a good one. To doubt that is to doubt the One that hung on a cross to save me.
I am broken before Him..I have sinned by not believing that He has good working through this situation.
And broken is a good place to be on Good Friday as I humble myself and consider the magnitude of the ultimate sacrifice.
