Two years ago today I did not die.
Two years ago today my husband dialed 911 after I lost consciousness.
Two years ago I arrived via ambulance to the emergency room “in a fairly severe amount of physical distress and unresponsive…showing cyanosis peripherally as well as centrally. Cool to touch and diaphoretic. Difficulty getting a blood pressure reading on this patient. Patient reveals a thready, spotty pulse, decreased capillary refill. Digits are cold“… {taken from the medical records of my hospitalization}
Two years ago, despite my medical situation {pulmonary emboli}, I did not die.
Did I get lucky?
No.
Did God love me more than someone else who passed on that day?
No.
Was it my time?
No.
Ever since that day, my life has been different. I have appreciated my existence in a way I never had before.
And I begged God not to allow me to waste a day…
because I do not know how many I have.
Every day is precious.
Since that night that I did not die, God has moved mountains in my path.
Mountains of bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, arrogance, self-centeredness and pain.
Has it been an easy road?
No.
Has it been worth it?
Yes!
I have lived as if I were dying and it is exhilirating, freeing and real.
I lived to see my boys reunited and my family start the long road of healing.
I lived to meet sweet blogging friends {and there are too many out there to mention but you know who you are} in real life!
I lived to reconcile with my Dad {after 13 years of not speaking}..God is so good!
I lived to reconcile with my dad, so I got to meet {and fall in love with} my little brother, Tsjaad.
And, I have spent time with my precious nephews, shared my testimony at numerous events, had the privilege of being there for more of my kid’s birthdays and everyday life, more motorcycle rides with my hubby, more dinners with friends, more singing on the worship team…
More living since the day I didn’t die.
And, the most important thing I have come to realize is that every day is a day I didn’t die. A gift. A gathering of moments meant to purposed.
What I do with those days is up to me.
