This summer has been a roller coaster ride of indecisiveness. Confusion. Soul-searching. Heart break. On my face before my Creator asking “why” and then remembering it is often not my place to ask.
{Situations that I can’t share here that shook my faith and made my soul ache but at the same time brought my family closer together and provided us an even firmer foundation upon which to serve our Jesus}
Don’t get me wrong…there were good times, too!
But, I have carried around a heaviness that I was finding hard to shake. And, in the midst of that, we {my husband and I} were praying about whether or not to home school our boys this year.
We pray every year about what their educational journey will look like. Usually, the answer is clear. This year, it was muddled.
Just for general information, we Type A mama’s don’t handle “muddled” well.
My husband does well with cutting through the mud in muddled. My motherly emotions tend to get in the way and the emotion that was muddying my waters was fear.
In God’s Word, He does not hesitate to tell us not to fear. Yet, I don’t hesitate to let fear invade my thoughts and my heart, particularly when it comes to the balancing act of motherhood.
So do not fear, for I am with you {and your children}; do not be dismayed, for I am your God {and your children’s God and Father too}. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you in my righteous right hand {and there your children rest too}. Isaiah 41:10
The italicized portion is obviously mine but it is how God spoke to me. That no matter the decision of where to be schooled and how to be educated, God holds my children close to His heart and I have nothing to fear.
Raising teenagers these days is scary and downright overwhelming {especially when you work with teen moms and see some grim realities of our fallen world}. As my boys head off to public school {the final decision the hubby and I came down to} again this year, my heart is at peace.
As for their spiritual education, that will continue at home. And this mama is kicking that focus up a notch this year. You can NEVER be to close to the One who beckons you not to fear.
