Take me as I am?

October 13, 2009 by admin
Filed under blog, chronic illness, confession, friendship

I am excited that Mike and I are boarding a jet plane to Vegas on Thursday. I am attending Sitscation, parts of Blog World Expo 2009 and meeting with some great companies. Since Mike and I have always wanted to go to Vegas and haven’t been away alone in more than two years we are extending our trip and making it a getaway for the two of us as well. That part, I am really looking forward to.

But, there is an ugly truth I have been forced to face in preparing for this trip. One I don’t like facing and tend to hide from my friends (on-line and IRL) as much as I can.

The truth that I have multiple sclerosis and sometimes it has me.

whrrlguy I had a great time at BlogHer ‘09, meeting my online friends in real life, hanging with Jessica Smith, the Whrrl guy. I didn’t really stop and give my illness a lot of thought. At the same time, my illness wasn’t bothering me that much.

mejessicknows But the last few weeks, MS has been kicking my butt. I’m having some type of autoimmune reaction to something (doctors are so helpful at narrowing things down). I have been covered from head to toe in hives for, ahem, 16 days. I have been hospitalized, am on my second full week of high dose steroids (which have blown my weight loss out of the water) and look like a sun burned blimp.

sugardanielle

I am not a vain person. That’s not what this is about. But, there is something very vulnerable in not being able to put on the “I feel fine” mask amongst people.

It’s almost funny because two weeks ago I spoke at a woman’s event about being authentic in friendship, not hiding the truth about ourselves from others but allowing our friends to love and accept us for who we really are.

So, I guess that is what I’m asking for this weekend in Vegas.

Look past the cane, the wheelchair, the skin rash, the puffy cheeks, the legs I haven’t been able to shave in 16 days and just see me, okay? MS does not define me, I’m just Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama.

(my online/IRL friends pictured above are @scrappinmichele, @extraordmommy and @sugarjones, I’m cool like that =)

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Sue Mayer

As the mom of a special needs child, I completely understand where you are coming from. I so often want people, children, parents, teachers, doctors to look past Sam's disabilities and simply enjoy and love Sam. I sometimes think that God is testing those around us. I have found people who have passed that test with flying colors and many who have so much more work to do on themselves and embracing those around us who are differently abled...and yet....before Sam I realize I may have been one of them.

Tiffany

So sorry to hear about all that. I think we all have those vulnerabilities to differing degrees. Some are on the outside, some on the inside. Some easier to hide than others. I hope you feel better and are able to enjoy your trip. My husband and I have had one date in almost three years, so I understand how important this must be to you!!!!